Two years have passed, I'm already 8, and I still haven't felt a gram of magic! I tried everything my inflamed brain could come up with! Even sacrifice with a pigeon! Yes, I admit the pentagram was crooked, without candles and all sorts of incomprehensible signs around, and I did it partly for fun, partly hoping for a miracle…
Searched all bookstores and found nothing too! Even got a stupid idea to try escaping to Fuyuki and begging to become Rin Tohsaka's apprentice! Pressing her with a devoted gaze and hitting her pride, for which I'd call her sensei! The word doesn't make me hot or cold—but locals melt from it.
The idea by the way could work if not for a whole bunch of BUTs—she seems to be apprenticed to a churchman, don't remember his name. But remember he's a deranged psycho who arranges sacrifices to maintain Gilgamesh in this world. So he'd bury me for many reasons, and even preserving the secrecy of the moonlit world would be far from the main one.
But I still worked on the variant with Rin—because the chance of being fed to Gilgamesh is high but not 100%! Originally I thought to enter middle school there and spy on her to see magic and get at least something to build upon.
Even made up a legend on the fly that I read about her family in a family book and decided to beg to become an apprentice! Yes while quite raw idea, but here I stumbled on the banal, namely how to adequately explain to parents the desire to move to the middle of nowhere on the other end of the country! Here I have no ideas yet. And desire to approach canon I also have none, this was more a desperate thought how to get access to magic.
There was also a variant that if I couldn't negotiate with parents, just run away there! And I even know who could shelter me—that's Shirou Emiya! Only here nuances start, Shirou Emiya himself knows nothing about magic, though he could do just one trick with scanning things—that's already more than I can!
And worth approaching him only if his father is already dead, otherwise not sure they wouldn't bury me—and when he died there I don't know. And don't forget I'm an 8-year-old kid, and any adequate person would have many questions for me. Luckily Shirou Emiya doesn't fall under that category! And could shelter me, but his guardian who works as a teacher and is the granddaughter of the local mafia boss—alas has brains and even knows how to use them.
And as the cherry on top—Fuyuki, first, such a city doesn't exist! Possibly a translation error or author's assumption—to not reveal the city he was inspired by. Or maybe just an abbreviation from the city name—but there's the city Fukuoka and it's on the lower island at the bottom of Japan. Not sure if it's correct to call it an island, but if we accept that Japan itself is 4 islands, think it's fine.
Ahem, not about that now, so Fukuoka is wonderful in everything—prefecture center, has an airport, harbor, population a whole 1.5 million! Only it's on the other end of the country from me! I myself am in Akita—and that's almost the center of Japan.
Okay got carried away, Akita is above the center of Japan, but not such a big difference as approximately, by eye, would force me to travel by train about a week! Doubt I could get there without problems and questions from other people and passengers. And the combination of all these factors makes me a bit sad.
Started considering the option to go to a Christian Church, but two points stopped me—I'm still 8 years old! And to be allowed to magic I'd have to kill a dozen years if not more, yes and all sorts of prayers with service… still not my thing. And second there's no Church in my city.
Yes, turns out there are about 50 churches in all Japan and I wasn't lucky. If we generalize everything, now I'm in light apathy, no magic yet and how to approach it I have no idea. On full seriousness I start thinking I have no magic, because all my attempts ended in failure—even the damn talismans.
That's why I started thinking about other paths…
A year later.
Today other paths finally struck back! And also made me choke. Alas literally—on soup.
It all started so innocently, in my naivety and shortsightedness I decided to try yoga—because I quite allowed that maybe I'm meditating wrong somehow. And since I already proved to family that I'm a hell of a versatile personality with a bunch of hobbies, convincing them to sign me up for yoga courses was easy, but with nuances.
The mother of this current body also decided to go with me to the courses… aaand now the thought might arise that the result as usual in anime—secret affairs with the yoga teacher, but no, it's worse.
And now while coughing, trying to understand how the conversation about "my chakras cleared"—which by the way in a year of going to yoga I never felt, which made me look suspiciously at everyone who goes to yoga with me and says similar things. And other philosophical nonsense at the table from mother, suddenly turned to—"Akito, do you want a little brother or sister?"
In my head many thoughts and memories flashed, I did have a younger brother. And in the end I felt no delight at any stage of our relationship—neither in childhood because of the little one's cries, nor when he grew up and followed with why-questions and annoyed me, nor when he matured and the teenage rebellion stage began, nor when he grew up and we still lived in the same apartment and generally didn't talk. Maybe if I was more sensitive, everything would've gone differently—but expecting conscious behavior from a 15-year-old teenager which I was? Yes and, perhaps, shouldn't have dropped him as a child… though it was only once.
So brother-sister relationships is a complicated topic, but even from friends' experience I saw—never easy and happy, with me you could even say it wasn't bad. Yeah, no burning desire to experience this shit again. And maybe everything would be fine if not considering this world!
But I didn't say that, instead spun something like—the chance that "little brother" or "sister" will also have high intellect isn't great. And like it or not, I'll be set as an example, which already sometimes happens with other kids in our school.
And yes, I'm that proverbial "mom's friend's son" that all kids hate. And seeing my example and unable to repeat my success—which often grates me myself, especially praise from teachers. I'm a fucking 30+ year old man and hearing "Good job Akito, sit down, excellent" from a teacher who turns out younger than me by total age, slowly kills me. It's like if a guy Ivanich from the factory came in the evening to 5th grade and started answering questions with the kids.
Ahem, got carried away with the sore spot. But of course I didn't tell parents that, instead continued that without the ability to repeat my success in studies, it might hit his/her self-esteem, which in the end won't be good. I talked a lot then about how they were lucky with me in childhood, I almost didn't cry so didn't strain their nerves. Yes and one more consumer for such a limited resource as their attention and money. About money I didn't tell them of course, but it's really important—and their attention no.
I rambled a lot more, weaving in pseudo-philosophical thoughts and sayings I picked up from VK publics. At least they were useful for something. And boiled it down to now no, in like 5 years when I move out—go ahead! I'll even love him/her then, but only from a distance! And seems I managed to convince them a bit?
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