I was seated at the table, my legs crossed, emerged in my handheld game console in the kitchen. It was the same one Dad gifted me for Christmas eight years ago, still running with power. I became immersed in the alternate reality of a game about farming life. For as long as I can remember, I ran around with it everywhere. The game lets me raise farm animals and trade crops in town. It wasn't much of a game—nothing flashy. I still love it though.
Crash!
The sudden sound of breaking glass made me jump. I could hear mom's voice in the next room. Her voice was so loud enough to wake anyone.
"What's going on that you need to be at my house?!" Mom shouted.
"Leave me alone, Ma." Jon said, angrily.
"I said, why are you here? And get your tail off my brand new couch. Why you smell like that? "
Here we go again. It seems Mom has been pestering Jon again. As the oldest, he should've known better. Always swearing he was gonna get his own place, but every time he came back to Mom's, hell broke loose. Last time he was here, Mom and him got into fight. He pushed mom right into the coffee table, knocking her over. Breaking the glass that set on top. I intervene in between them to calm the commotion.
"I'm not doing nothing! I just came by to rest." Jon shouted.
"You always just coming by," Mom shot back. "You don't pay nothing in here Jon."
"Exactly, I believe mom felt bad that you don't have anywhere to go." I thought to myself.
Mom was making ends meet by relying on Dad's savings. She was already worn down and frustrated after his death, suddenly burdened with everything on her own. From the day she became a widow, she had to shoulder the weight of being a single parent. Dad died a year ago. He suffered a hemorrhage caused by complications from diabetes. It caught us all off guard, none of us knew what to say. We sat there numb as the doctor delivered the news. I remember like it was yesterday a memory that will never leave me. Being in the hospital was nerve wrecking for anyone. That one single room with that small bed that tried to fit how big he was, dad fitted like heavyset wrestling man.
I wasn't as close to my father like I should have been. In the years, that I have known him. He was rather a generous man and quiet in his days of living. My father gave back to people, good or bad. I didn't understand why he would help the bad. I guess that is just something he does. He was a veteran in his line of work. Four years prior to his passing, he was discharged from the army service and took a position at a nearby shipyard in another city, not far from home.
I felt like Jon took most of it in. I mean, watching Dad die in the hospital. Jon never cared about anyone but himself. He was disobedient when dad was alive and still act the same when his not around. The split in his pain from dad's death and failing to find a job. Either way it must been frustrating for him. I believe I over heard in a conversation my brother staying with his god-brother. The one that's not to far from down the street.Jon just wandered back and forth between here and there looking restless, like he couldn't figure out where he belong.
His a grown man now, who's twenty-four still trying to lay up in mom apartment. He had the audacity to think he was the man of the house. On the apartment papers was mom name now. I know that for sure because I had to bare witness every time mom had to go out and pay the bills.
"Get your ass out my house! If you don't want to do what I ask! "
Her voice started as sharp pestering then erupted into whole yelling. Jon snapped too, shouting back at her.
"Get out my face. I said NO!"
Fear crawled up my spine. I dropped the console and bolted toward the living room, terrified my brother might actually hurt her. Mom was the one who kept trying to kick him out. He just had this weird problem with everyone in the family. Like he was at the top and we all at the bottom.
Home wasn't my only battle. The last day of school, I was still fuming. One of the girls in class thought it would be funny to rip a tennis ball off a chair leg and whip it at me. It smacked dead on my forehead. She laughed, whispering to her friend like it was a joke. I felt humiliated. Broken.
All I wanted was to get away from here. Thank God college was around the corner. Hopefully none of them ended up where I was headed. Accept my only friend Rochelle. No, lie I did snoop little in class and listen to everyone's future plans. Thankful the university I was going to wasn't on everyone mind.
I heard a loud smack noise after all that fussing.
"I wish you would. Hit me, I dare you." Mom shouted.
"Momma!" I said cutting the corner, breathing hard.
To my surprise Jon stood there, a red mark on his face. I was scared for my mom's life. Jon had the tendency to get mad and throw tantrums like a child. Something I use to do when I was being spoiled brat.
Living room was intact nothing out of place, the broken glass spread underneath the table — new wooden table. I notice small bits of pieces scattered out from the clutter.
Her hand was raised so far up in the air like she was reaching for god to give her strength not to knock Jon out again. He stood there with a furious look on his face. Then he turned, stomped out the door, and slammed it.
I just stood there, terrifying look on my face still thinking of Dad If he was still here, none of this would have happened. He would have grabbed Jon, tossing him out the door like trash. But what can I say, this is who Jon is now without Dad to keep him in check.
We lived in a small three bedroom apartment on the outskirts of the city. That's what my parents could afford at the time when they had all three of us. Jon, my sister, and me.We all lived in this city called Williamston in big ol' North Carolina. The city itself carried a mix of ambition and history. It's like a place like New York but tiny. They'd renovated the city, new buildings, fresh streets but our block still looked like the past clinging on for dear life.
I gripped the wall, voice shaking. "W…What happened?"
Mom said nothing. She just walked into the kitchen, grabbed the broom and dustpan, and started sweeping up the glass like it was any other mess. Completely ignoring that I was even there. I notice when she pass me she look like she was going to cry. Crying from things being excessively hard. I don't know if its me, but Jon was pushing it. Mom needed a break from his bullshit.
I was tired and fed up with living in this apartment myself. I wanted to be out there away from my family. That's why when it came back around when it did. Thinking of college was on my mind. A new place to be and to start over. All summer, I wasn't going to be doing anything but be stuck in my room. Waiting for August to get here.