Nirvana — a state where the soul or self is completely freed from suffering, desire and ignorance. but had anyone ever truly found it? i wonder..
..was what i thought. until i met That man. sunken, cold eyes. but gentle smile. i should've known back then...when that smile turned to a grin.
* * * *
Do you ever feel like life is going too well?
Or like it's so steady, so constant, that nothing feels interesting anymore?
Everything becomes bland.
Eventually, you stop looking forward to the next day —
Because the next day never really comes.
It feels like you are repeating that endless cycle of same day over & over.
And it gets harder and harder to breathe as days pass by.
it was like that for me too.
but ...by the time I looked up,
I was already living the corporate life.
It's not like anything was wrong.
I had a decent job. A decent salary.
I got along with my colleagues, went to get-togethers.
I had loving, supportive parents. Good siblings.
Everything was fine.
But there was this small black hole in my chest.
Growing larger by the day.
This sadness... this miserableness.
And what hurt the most was that there was no one to blame.
There was something wrong... even though nothing was wrong.
That there was nothing to justify that unhappiness.
That empty hole grew bigger.
I started feeling apathetic toward people.
My eyes — the ones that once sparkled — became void and colorless.
I didn't understand why this was happening to me.
Stuff like "how" or "why" . It all got stuck in my throat. All of my questions, hesitation, suffocation ... The moment they reach my sealed lips ,they break apart and scattered away .
The moment i noticed them ,they were like tiny snowflakes falling into my hands. Beautifully disappearing into nothingness.
So i quit my job.
I don't even remember how I spent the next two weeks.
All I recall is lying in bed, staring at the ceiling.
After such a long break i finally left my bed and took stroll in the park one evening.
And that's when i saw that man.
Whose eyes...were just...
like mine.
void and empty...
to be continued...
Author's Note
hey guys!
My name is Avrelle Warble. Feel free to call me just 'Avrelle' or 'warble'. Whichever feels right to you. This is my first digital novel. Its kind of sad and in-depth so a heads up but i promise, if you stay, you won't regret reading this.
This is going to be a short story, somewhere around 10-15 chapters. I hope you will be in this short journey with me.
Please forgive any errors along the way in my writing. English is not my first language. I hope you'll understand.
This story was inspired by the song "Six Pills" by Rosendale.
If you have time, give it a listen.
In the end, i hope you'll enjoy this story.