What is happiness?
…
Okay, I get it, asking existential questions right out of the gate's a bit on the nose, but bear with me for a second.
So, what's happiness?
To the shock of absolutely nobody, this was a broad question with many answers. After all, every living thing has experienced moments of happiness in various shapes or forms.
For some, it was the little moments of ordinary life; for others, the joy of having accomplished a difficult task. There were so many definitions of happiness that the term couldn't fit under one umbrella for every person.
As for me?
Well, not to brag, but I was a relatively content person open to all kinds of changes and activities. I was confident in my ability to find happiness in the most unusual of places.
Camping in the middle of summer and moon gazing without a tent? Slept in worse spots. Missing the last train home and getting stranded downtown? Just an unscheduled walking tour with a surprise sunrise at the end. Getting served a truly terrible meal? An experience to laugh about later.
I'm sure you get the point by now. Human positivity, the indomitable human spirit, and all that jazz… yeah, it was totally my jam.
Still, though, like everything, there's gotta be a limit. A point where your level of acceptance plateaus, and leaves you to wonder: "What the hell am I even supposed to do here?"
Today was a day like that. To be blunt, even I found the situation of getting sent to a different universe like Honkai Impact 3rd, where catching a magically boosted super-cancer was as common as contracting a common cold, to be a bit above my pay grade.
To top it all off, this world seemed to have a special something for female characters. Guys like me? We didn't get the warmest welcome. As a man in the world of Honkai, you learn quickly that the story isn't written for you. Getting involved in the plot is like strapping a bomb to your chest and hoping the timer is generous.
Needless to say, my definition of happiness quickly got reevaluated to "seeing the sunrise tomorrow".
So, in conclusion, an intruder like me had absolutely nothing to do with this world's story. If I wanted to preserve my own happiness—and most importantly, my life—, I'd have to step away from the grand overarching plot, the battles, the bonds, all that emotion, and everything that came with it.
I did exactly that. Took on my new identity as a student, found a nice part-time job as a janitor at a convenience store, and decided to keep my head above water.
At least, that's the logic I've been clinging to. A part of me always wonders if I'm making a smart choice, or just a cowardly one.
"... Or is that just a poor excuse for being lazy? Hell if I know."
In the end, I guess I was exactly the type of idiot to strap a bomb to their chest. Because, well...
"Not like that plan worked out, anyway."
"Did you say anything, Leon?" The words resounded in a gentle voice, much like the dark-purple-haired girl who had just asked the question with a slightly worried expression.
The voice halted my train of thought, and I stopped mopping the store's floor. It was only after lifting my head and meeting her eyes that I remembered I wasn't alone.
"Nah, don't sweat it, Mei. I was just mumbling to myself." I replied with a shrug of my shoulders. "What about you? Has anyone been bothering you lately?"
"H-Huh?" Mei stammered, "Uh… No, nobody has." She said, shifting her gaze away from me.
"You sure? That expression of yours seems like it's trying to say something else." I inquired, lifting a brow incredulously.
Realizing her words hadn't convinced me, Mei quickly locked her gaze back onto me, flailing her arms around, alarmedly. "No, I'm being seriou—"
"Nah." I interrupted, "It's fine. I don't mind if you don't want to talk about it. I'm helping you of my own accord, so it's not like you owe me anything."
She flinched. Yep, definitely the wrong thing to say. Or maybe the right thing, depending on your goal. My goal was self-preservation, and attachments were a threat. Still, seeing that look on her face made me feel like a real jerk.
Right. Maybe some context is in order.
Let's rewind a bit. Not all the way to the beginning—we don't have time for that, and you don't need my life story. Let's just go back to the moment the timer on that bomb I strapped to my chest really started ticking, and my plan for a quiet life really failed.
====||====
Raiden Mei was… conflicted.
Ever since her father, Raiden Ryoma, had been arrested, Mei's life had been spiraling downhill at an alarming pace. She had always been the center of attention at school, but where people's gazes were once filled with admiration and yearning, they now carried only contempt and disgust.
Still, she couldn't let it get to her. No matter what happened, she was still the heir of ME Corp. Showing any sign of weakness would be the same as admitting her father's crimes, and Mei was determined to prove his innocence.
So, on the surface, she wore her usual calm expression—the practiced smile that had carried her through countless lectures and idle chatter over the years.
Even when every whisper in the hallway carried her name. Even when every glance weighed heavily with unspoken accusations. Raiden Mei held her head high; she had to stay strong.
As she went through her day at school, the distance became clearer by the hour. Desks that used to be surrounded by friends had become lonely islands. Conversations ended the moment she walked by. Even the teachers avoided her, masking their unease behind polite, awkward smiles.
Mei told herself she didn't care. She told herself it didn't hurt.
But when she reached into her locker and found another crude note folded between her books with the words "Like father, like daughter" scrawled in ugly ink, her hand trembled before she could stop it. She quickly shoved the note deep into her bag, glancing around to make sure no one had noticed.
As she turned, she noticed him.
A boy stood a few paces away, snow-white hair framing his face, black eyes fixed on her. A mop handle rested casually on his shoulder, as if he'd just come from work.
"Heya." he greeted.
"..."
A silence settled between them, heavy enough that Mei could almost hear her own heartbeat.
"…?" He raised a brow, confused by her tense reaction.
"Did I do something wrong? Why is she looking at me like that? That's awkward." Judging by the slight crease in his expression, those thoughts were running through his head. Yet he didn't voice them.
The girl didn't look like she was in the mood to talk anyway.
With that conclusion, he gave her an awkward little wave, as if to acknowledge the moment before turning and walking off.
Left alone again, Mei released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding. She had expected mockery, maybe scorn. His reaction was nothing like what she'd prepared herself for.
She glanced back toward the direction he'd gone. Who was that student?
Back when she was the most popular girl at Chiba Academy — at least in a positive light — countless classmates had sought her attention. She had always tried to be friendly, making an effort to remember faces and names. She couldn't claim to know everyone at the school, but she at least had some vague memory of most students.
Yet she couldn't recall ever meeting this boy before. And why on earth had he been carrying a mop?
Despite the strange feeling gnawing at her, Raiden Mei shook it off. She had more important things to deal with.
The next day, classes dragged on endlessly. Mei tried to focus on the lesson, but the words on the board blurred together. Her classmates were louder than usual, or maybe they weren't, and it was just the subject of their gossip that made it unbearable.
"Guess money can't buy dignity."
The voice came from two rows behind her. Not loud enough for the teacher to hear, but plenty loud for everyone else.
"Think she knew? Maybe she was in on it."
Mei's hand tightened around her pen until the plastic creaked, but she forced herself to keep writing as if nothing had happened. Her smile stayed fixed, her posture perfect.
They don't matter. Their words don't matter.
Out of the corner of her eye, she caught someone leaning against their desk.
"Zzz…" They were dozing off without a care in the world, unconcerned about being caught.
What caught her attention, however, was the person's appearance.
"…Is that…?" she muttered before she could stop herself.
The sleeper was none other than the boy from yesterday.
Had he always been in her class? How could she not have noticed him until now?
She wanted to puzzle it out, but the lesson in front of her demanded focus, and the constant whispers behind her weren't helping either. With a small shake of her head, she turned her eyes back to the board.
The bell finally rang, and relief rushed through her like air after surfacing from deep water. Mei gathered her things quickly, hoping to slip out unnoticed. But at the door, a shoulder slammed into hers.
"Watch it," a boy sneered, loud enough for the hall to hear. "Wouldn't want to get framed for assault, huh?"
The laughter was immediate, merciless. Heat flared in her cheeks. She wanted to scream at them, to tell them they didn't know anything.
…But she couldn't.
Doing so would shatter the strong image she clung to, and if her mask broke, there would be nothing left to protect her.
So she lowered her head and walked.
Outside, the air was cooler, but it did nothing to wash away the sting. Mei drifted to the courtyard, seeking a moment of quiet. She found an empty bench beneath a tree and sat, clutching her bag tightly in her lap.
"Rough day?"
Her head snapped up.
There he was again.
The boy stood a few steps away, hands shoved in his school uniform's pockets, the mop nowhere in sight. He had a casual grin on his face, impossible to read.
Mei stiffened. "I'm fine."
He tilted his head. "Pretty strong word for someone who looks like they're about to snap a pencil in half."
She glanced down. Sure enough, her grip on her bag was so tight her knuckles had gone white. Embarrassment rushed through her, and she quickly loosened her hold.
"I said I'm fine," she repeated, firmer this time.
"Mm." He didn't sound convinced. Instead of leaving, he plopped down on the bench beside her, leaning back as if it were his by right.
Without a word, he took out a small hairbrush from his pocket and began combing his hair.
Mei blinked, incredulous. It was odd enough for a boy to pull something like that out here of all places, but the nonchalant way he ignored her presence made it almost insulting.
She opened her mouth to scold him, but he spoke first.
"You know, you don't have to play tough all the time. It's okay to admit when things suck."
Her mouth hung open for a second before she snapped it shut and shot him a sharp look. "…Why do you care?"
For a moment, he was silent. Then he shrugged. "Guess I don't."
Another pause, just as heavy, before he added, "But, y'know, I've got this annoying habit of cleaning up messes when I see them. Comes with the janitor gig."
Mei frowned. A high school student working as a janitor? The thought seemed absurd, but she decided not to ask.
"I'm not a mess."
"Didn't say you were." He glanced at her sideways, his grin softening. "But the way people treat you? Can't say it sits right with me."
Mei's lips parted as if to argue, but no words came out. She quickly turned her gaze to the side, unwilling to let him see the flicker of warmth that stirred in her chest.
It was ridiculous. One casual comment from some boy she barely knew shouldn't mean anything. And yet… when was the last time someone had admitted they cared about how she was treated?
Her grip on the bag in her lap softened. Just a little.
The boy, either oblivious or pretending to be, slid the hairbrush back into his pocket. "Besides," he added with a wink, "I can't just let the courtyard fill up with trash talk. Cuts into my workload, y'know? Less garbage around means less hours for me."
The joke caught her off guard. For a moment, she simply stared at him, then a faint laugh almost slipped past her lips before she bit it down.
She recovered her composure rather quickly, however. Even if it felt nice to talk to someone who didn't treat her like a criminal, at the end of the day, she didn't know his true intentions.
Mei narrowed her eyes, trying to act suspicious of him. "Then, what do you want from me?"
"Nothing really." He shrugged. "I've got enough problems without trying to add yours to the pile."
"Then why?" She pressed. "Why even bother talking to me?"
"Because…" He paused before looking at her directly. "Everyone else seems real eager to tear you down. Someone's gotta be the balance, right?"
Mei blinked, momentarily disarmed. She searched his face for sarcasm, for mockery. But there was none. Just plain honesty.
It unsettled her more than the laughter in the halls ever could.
She turned away quickly, her hair falling forward to shield her expression. "…You really don't make sense."
"Ehh, I don't mind being the odd one out." He extended a hand towards Mei as if offering a handshake. "I'm Leon, Leon Calibri. Friends just call me Leon, though, so you can call me that, no need for that complicated honorific stuff."
For the first time in days, Mei didn't feel completely alone on that bench.
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Finally done with the first chapter, letz goooooooooooooooooo!!
This one's been pretty hard for me to finish. I did a lot of experimental writing, and it didn't really turn out the best.
I'll try to improve as I write this story, so do please support me!
Massive shoutout to my goat Jackson for helping out with beta reading.
One last thing, make sure to check out Bleap's discord server! That's where a bunch of other writers and I are spending a lot of our time.
https://discord.gg/aM8eYFBJB9
... Did I say this was the last thing? Well, I lied!
Happy (late) 10th anniversary to Undertale, woooo!