It was a sunny morning in the plaza of the beginner's town of Axel. A man dressed in red and a woman dressed in blue stood out of nowhere in the tranquil public space.
Ah everything worked so fine I feel like I could break out singing, but I'll hold on that for now... Man this really is one of those medieval worlds just like in Clara games. Well guess I can stay here a few hours while the deed is done. Hey goddess look here, do something about this chains already it hurts to even look at my arm, think a little about how I feel.
The goddess was looking down at the ground while trembling, a spiky chain wrapped around her neck stretching all the way to Crim right arm as in some sick SM play. Crim approached her to see what was up and get something done about the chain when she pounced at him and began to cry relentlessly.
WHAAAAAAAAHH WHAAAAAAAA UWAAAAAAAAA HOW COULD YOU! What have you done to me you devil!? WHAAAAAAAAA!
Alright calm down calm down. I had no idea the chain was going to wrap around your neck. Hell I didn't even think a God could be hurt by something like that alright.
Crim clarified feeling distressed by the whinny behavior of an almighty goddess. He was stupefied by her reaction but kept his cool and inquired with her. Just calm down and heal us or whisk these wounds away or something.
I can't do that! Since you caused my fall on this world whiteout the heavens approval, my powers got completely sealed!
Oh. Ehm well I guess we could find a doctor or something. [Falls to his knee]
Leech are you all right?
No I am not…. Blood loss is…. not alright. I wasn't expecting you to. [Deep breath] Leave your almighty powers at home Ugur. [Collapses]
Wait Leech, don't die, don't die yet first get this thing off me, somebody help! Help!
Passing priest: Got you missy [[Heal]] and [[Heal]].
A man of the cloth that heard the commotion approached the couple and proceeded to cast his magic on the girl and the man.
Passing priest: That should be all right for now. But please take that dangerous chain off this instant.
We can't. The chain is cursed WAAAAAHHH!
Just calm down. I'll get if off you at least.
Crim got off the ground and sat cross legged near the kneeling and crying Aqua. But the moment he tried to grab the chain it suddenly loosened and fell off the goddess neck.
See nothing to worry about.
Crim stared at the chain as if it was a limb of his own. He felt the chain loosen up the moment he tried to do so with his own hands. He tried to bring himself closer for a look and the chain began to float until it was just about his face.
Interesting. It seems it can float on its own just as the text said. Hey goddess do you feel anything strange?
[Cries slightly] No.
Passing priest: Goddess? Are you alright kid? I'd think you should find a hospital until some way to get this chain off turns around. I just healed your arm and it's already purple…. Oh my goddess Eris! [[Heal]]
The wounds on Crim left arm healed again but the spikes of the chain embed on his skin took not a second to worsen his skin complexion.
That's what he gets for playing with a cursed item…. Wait a moment. You said you wanted an item that could enslave someone to your will. You meant to used it on me since the beginning YOU PARASITE LEECH!
Aqua pounce on top of Crim to beat him for his sins, he raised his fist up the air and she quickly retreated with her tail between her legs.
I'll deal with you later, now this thing. Even for a cursed item and what not I don't think it is meant to kill so quickly from what I read about it. It seems like it would need time to work its original purpose, so what else did it do that could help me? I got it! [[Pain of the Light Breeze]]
Crim chanted his first vocal command to the chain and absolutely no visual change happened.
What are you doing you fool? Why are you activating the power of the chain like that, doesn't it hurt plenty already? Are you masochistic?
Keep going and I'll deal with you right here under the gaze of this entire town. Now check this out, father could I get one more of those heal magic's you did before.
Passing priest: But of course my boy. [[Heal]]
The priest healed Crim arm for the third time but something strange happened this time around.
Check it, it doesn't turn purple anymore nor does it hurt at all even with the spikes piercing on my arm. If anything it feels… Windy?
What windy? Are you restarted? Or are you just pain retarded? How does that [Points at Crim right arm] feels windy to you?
The instructions said the chain could reproduce any pain in existence in any one of its links, so I figured I could have it dish something that wouldn't hurt that much, and as I can see. It worked. It feels windy.
Preposterous, let me see! [Grabs Crim chain embedded arm] It feels, nice and fresh? What the heck is this? Why does something so painfully look feels so good to the touch?
Said Aqua as she wrapped herself around Crim right arm like it was ice on summer.
(Yeah, that's right, stay like that and you shall be forgiven. For now!) Father, I can't thank you enough for helping us out.
Passing priest: Think nothing of its son. This is just par with the mission.
Glad to hear it. Could you tell me where we can get that cool magic ourselves? I was under the impression everyone could use magic around here.
Passing priest: Of course everyone can use magic, what kind of question is even that? But unless you want to commit to a religion order like me, I suggest you head for the adventurers guild. Is just down that road and you can even find some work if your willing to put your guts to the test.
Thank you. We'll see you around.
walked as he dragged Aqua, who was stuck to his arm, feeling the nice breeze emanating from it. Once they walked enough distance to speak more privately, Crim shot back.
Alright that's enough we need to talk. Explain in detail how you get your powers back so I can send you on your way to the demon king and focus on finding us the best motel this backwater town has to offer.
I think I'd heard you wrong, what was that about a motel you parasite leech?
(Oh, you heard that right dear.) Focus now goddess, I need you to tell me how we get your powers back so we can get this whole business on the way.
Oh, I just need to get an adventurer card at the guild. Usually when us goddesses want to decent on the mortal world, we do so through an avatar that's routed with the power and laws of the world. But you brought my true body down with you. My divine power has been greatly reduced and all my skills and magic sealed until I can get my hands on the corresponding equivalent of this word. I am a healing type goddess, so once I'll get my hands on a healer class everything should be all right.
(Healer type huh. I remember how Clara used to say white mages are the gods of this realm. And you want your precious HP you better pray for it! Here's your divine intervention lowly mortal [[Benediction]] and other such lines when I saw her play online. Guess it makes sense the gods specialize in something even if they would have the power to reshape the world at their will.)
Crim thought to himself as he walked.
Hey, I been listening to you praise me and such about my awesome powers as the true and genuine goddess I am, but I can't help but feel like you have a misunderstanding about me.
Huh you said something. Doesn't matter we are here. Just need you to pick a class and that'll be like getting the permit to use your powers, right? Then the demon king goes puff and I get my divine booty and wish cherry on top.
Again, I can't help but get the feeling that you're misunderstanding something. And you keep saying stuff that feels strangely dangerous to me right now.
Heave ho hoe.
Crim walked inside the adventurer's guild. The place was rowdy and loud like a bar. It did double as a bar after all. Aqua hid herself behind Crim back, and he just strolled inside.
Where can I get a class around here?
And the guild went silent. Everyone just stood gazing at the inconspicuous red dressed man who asked a completely incoherent question and had a painful looking chain embedded on his right forearm. A man with a Mohawk walked up to him.
Did you mean you're here to become an adventurer kid?
No, I'm here because I need my girlfriend to get a class so she can use her powers again.
WHO DID YOU JUST CALLED YOUR GIRLFRIEND!?
Aqua began to shake Crim by the shoulders while he stood as deadpan as he could in defiance of her complaint.
Yes, I get what you mean; you need to get her an adventurer's card so she can make use of her skills. Just go over to the lady by the counter right there. Her name is Luna; she'll help you out with the procedure.
Oh cool, thanks man.
No problem partner, and welcome to the gates of hell.
Aha yeah eh, thanks. [Sweat profusely]
Phssss kusukusukusukusu! Now Leech aren't you happy to be where you belong HA HA!
(If only she knew I've been counting and she's getting a spanking per every time she calls me a leech).
Crim ignored the doomed goddess, for come nightfall, she'll pay in plenty and strolled in the direction of the counter. But just as in cue, a huge shirtless man wearing belts all over his pecs stood up from one of the tables with a malicious smile. The men around him began to laugh as they knew him up to his usual antics, and Ruffian couldn't help but sigh before he returned to his seat. The shirtless man cut in Crim way and stared at him menacingly with a devious smile on his face.
Hey kid where do you think you're going? Did nobody said you had to win the favor of the great lord Shirtpecs before you could even stand foot on this guild huh? You and your girlfriend have guts eh. But you know what eh, you seem new around here, so I'll let you off the hook for some coin and a night out with your—
One bar fight later.
Is this all you got, a mere forty lousy coin purse? I'll be ashamed to be seen with this short dough in the streets. [Spits]
Crim had no idea what the value was for the forty coins purse he slid on his pocket, but it didn't stop him from complaining and spitting at the bloody Shirtpecs face. The guild shoot up in cheers the moment the fight had started and shat up five seconds after seeing the one side fist barrage the shirtless man was eating. It was so brutal and relentless some wondered if Crim was even breathing as he dished the beating. Crim took a satisfied deep breath as he let out some stress and now had money on his pocket. He resumed strolling merrily for the counter. Aqua timidly followed behind him and she accidentally stepped on the bloody face of Shirtpecs as she passed by. She freaked out after seeing the shit she had step on and bowed down and apologized profusely to the still KO mess of a man on the ground. Crim stood in front of Luna.
How's it going beautiful, we are here for—
Luna No.
Silence fell over the guild as everyone was now too interested in the newcomers to even take a sip of beer. Caught off guard but quickly to recover, Crim shot back.
Excuse you? [Menacingly]
It is true we tolerate some rowdy conduct but mugging and brutalizing are out of bounds. Return that purse and apologize to the man you just beat up if you want to make use of the guild services. [Defiantly]
My my darling. Did you left your glasses and ears on the drawer back home? He started it, I just retaliated nicely. [Menacingly]
And you will apologize nicely, or I will forbid you from becoming an adventurer in any guild on the kingdom of Bhelzerg. [Defiantly]
Ah ever the stuck-up type, how I missed your kind since I'd quit high school. How's your boyfriend? Did you use him to sign your documents this morning? Or did you dump him for a newer ink?
When it seemed, the guild couldn't get quieter, a mad silence befitting of the gates of oblivion itself befell the drunken halls.
Ups sorry did my lips say something mean to Chuu. [Mocking kiss]
One guild bans later, standing right outside the door mark of the guild like a dog banned from the kitchen, just close enough to the mark to exert defiance over the forbidden territory.
THIS IS ABUSE OF POWER AND I DEMAND TO SPEAK WITH THE MANAGER!
GET OUT! Luna shoot back the moment an inch of Crim shoe crossed the door line inside the guild. Everyone sipped their drinks in silence for fear of getting yelled at. A useless goddess put her holy hand on the shoulder of the delinquent sinner and dragged him away from the guild.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET MY POWERS NOW WHAAAAAAAA!?
She screamed and instantly broke down crying.
I don't matter; I'm just a lowly mortal sinner anyways. All it matters is she didn't say anything about you; take the money and go get what's rightfully (Mine) ours.
Crim said speaking in a grandeur tone to wash away any attention to his accidental blunt from before and put half the coins he had in Aqua delicate palm.
Whahab I don't want too. What if she's mean to me because I was seen hanging with the likes of you?
An excellent point my goddess. But you have nothing to worry about, her kind never has beef with the girlfriend. Go and I'll assure you everything will work alright.
I don't want to; if you're so sure of everything then you go yourself hmmp! [Pouts]
Now listen here you little blue licking candy. I don't have the patience to find or walk to another guild right now, and as omnipotent and divine as you can be. Until you come out of there with your divinity back, I wear the pants in this relationship. And I died in my sleep, meaning I probably haven't spanked anything in over 8 hours, and I don't give a crap if people are watching. Do you still want to stick around me or that girl now?
Tears streamed out of the useless goddess eyes as she covered her rear with her hands and back pedaled from the dangerous red dressed man. After giving him the look you would a sex offender, the goddess turned to the guild and everyone inside disappeared from the door and windows of the establishment. The moment the useless goddess walked inside everyone was sitting back at their tables in a hurry. Aqua teary and timidly walked to the counter Luna was manning.
You don't have to say anything dear, I've heard everything. Just stay here and I'll have the guards take him away in five minutes.
No wait! I I know he's unrepentant, a terrible, vulgar degenerate, parasite, leech and sinner. But I'm stuck with him right now, and I seen through his soul what he's really like when he isn't angry, and.. And…
(Alright screw counting, she's getting the full spank course tonight).
Thought Crim as he stood by the door line outside the guild like a dog who's not allowed inside the kitchen.
And screw that guy! Why do I even trust him this much over just seeing what his life was like? How dare he treat me like this!
(They say tomorrow is tonight and tonight is right now) COME HERE YOU FALLEN BITCH!
Luna GET OUT!
Crim walked out after walking in fuming like a volcano. Aqua breathed in relief but quickly turned as not to make eye contact with the mad dog waiting just outside.
You don't need to worry about him. Once you get your adventurer card and grab a couple skills you'll be ways stronger than a mere bully clad in red.
Crim YES I'VE BEEN COUNTING ON THAT!
QUIET! Now just pay the registration fee then place your hand on the blue sphere, and that man won't be able to hurt you anymore.
(This bitch is really going on and on about the bad boyfriend drama. I haven't hurt the goddess. YET!)
Inside the guild everyone reunited around the newcomer as she put her hand on the blue sphere and trough a laser build on the contraption. It began to write the detail of the individual on the card. Luna took the card to see what it was about.
Let's see… Oh my goddess Eris. These are the highest stats I've ever seen.
(I like it when I get the quality I paid for.)
Thought Crim as he stood by the door watching over the commotion inside. Other than intelligence that's below average and your luck which is the worst I've ever seen. This is just amazing lady Aqua; you can pick any three out of the four most advanced classes.
(Who even needs luck anyways when you're a god, but what was that about intelligence? Was she really retarded?) HEY AQUA, ARE YOU RETARDED!?
Aqua OF COURSE NOT YOU PARASITE I AM A GODDESS!
Silence fell over the guild momentarily again.
Crim (Well wherever it was true or not before, after that blurt nobody will be convinced otherwise.)
Tears rolled down the beautiful face of the goddess as everyone went silent after her words and the red man by the door was blowing raspberries in a buffoonish manner.
Aqua [Hic, sniff, cries] WHAAAAAAAH YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS YOU MEANIE, BULLY!
Luna Hold on lady Aqua, pick a class first for attack bonuses.
Luna held Aqua arms just as she was about to charge towards the red bully.
Luna Other than archimage which requires a high intelligence stat, you can pick any of swordsman, crusader, or archpriest. I recommend crusader as it grants bonuses for unarmed combat and submission holds. Though with your stats you can probably snap his spine like a twig anyways.
Aqua Uhm I see, I'll pick archpriest then. It is unbecoming of a goddess to fight on the front lines, so I'll settle for healing and supporting from the back row. Besides now that I have my god blow back I can teach that infidel a lesson he won't soon forget.
Everyone simultaneously turned to the door frame to look at the infidel who was smiling amusingly at the turn of events while he leaned cross-legged and cross arm against the door frame. Just slightly inside the guild enough to grind at Luna gears. Aqua pouted at the mockingly grin he gave her, and she began swiping the adventure card in fervor as she took skill after skill and class bonus after bonus until she had ran out of branches of the archpriest tree and the dubious party skill tree. Both necessary to perform her role and dance over her enemy after its divine defeat. Luna put her hands on the goddess shoulders like a coach about to send her student to fight on the ring.
Listen lady Aqua. That man strikes me as the type that would take heavy physical and emotional damage from a blow to his privates. Don't be ashamed to play dirty and use seduction if necessary.
I got it, leave him to me. I'll teach that man to respect goddesses!
Everyone began to cheer for the girl who was about to stick it to her abusive boyfriend. The abusive boyfriend in question was smiling deviously from ear to ear as he observes the hilarious circumstance that had built up. He tried his damdest best to wipe the mocking grin off his face to let out a menacing look. His cold stern and aggressive gaze made everyone inside the guild feel unease, and Aqua backpedaled with her trembling legs and her face pale from terror. But she shook her head and recomposed herself after remembering she was a goddess and he was a mortal. His insolence won't be tolerated any longer. She took heavy steps as she swings her shoulders large in a cute attempt to appear more menacing. The abusive boyfriend uncrossed his arms and pointed his right hand on Aqua way. The chain that could grow on the health of his wearer began to spill on the ground leaving a heavy metal on wood crash sound as it kept spilling like water from a broken faucet. Aqua froze in place at the clank-clank-clank sound made by the chain.
Oh my stupid goddess, did you perhaps forget that you're bound to me by these chains? Did you perhaps forget that they don't work unless a peon has been submitted to my will and if they do work then it means your screw? Did it ever occur you that I had nothing to fear for a reason? Who knows what these chains would do to you if you were to harm me in anyway? I got on good ground from my girlfriend Sussie who likes anime. That this enslavement type magic's treats real nasty to defiant behaviors against its master. Sussie told me after watching some shield novela type anime. And there it was just magic, this is coming straight from the chain that records all pain in existence. Do you really want to try this out?
[Soft cry, mild cry, big cry] WHAAAAAAAHHHH ITS NOT FAIR WHYYYYYYY WUAAAHHHH!
YOU MONSTER! How can you play with a girl feelings like that!? I hope you burn in hell!
Guild adventurer: Yeah you make me sick!
Guild girl adventurer: Burn in hell you jerk!
Nerdy adventurer: I'll take your girl if you don't want her!
Crim did a shake of his hand and the chain levitated slightly and slammed hard on the wood floors. Letting a deafening loud sound that shut everyone up. He walked menacingly inside the guild all the way to the blue haired girl that was keeling on the floor crying with her cute sky eyes covered by her soft hands. Crim brought his hand over her and everyone braced for the worst. He slowly caressed her head and wipes her tears with his hands.
Crim: I was joking, I'd never hurt someone as pretty and enchanting as you, even if you wanted me death. Please forgive me for taking this bad joke so far. Let's leave this godforsaken guild behind and find a place quieter to talk things out.
Lies deceptions and the good old carrot, manipulation 100. Hearing his words and seeing his warm and tenure expression Aqua couldn't feel scared of him anymore. He offered her his left hand as he held his right behind his back so as to not startle her, the chain slowly retracting back to size around his right arm and behind his back. Once she got up, she shakes his hold on her soft hands, showing she still felt some displeasure over what had happened and he was not out the water just yet. He smiled tenderly at her with just a slight vein on his temple threatening to burst out any second.
I'll wait outside for when you're ready; we still got a long day and a demon king to take on.
After expressing his most insincere apologies, Crim walked out the guild door and stood just far enough outside to hear what was going on. Aqua turned around to Luna.
Thank you for helping me.
And she tried to leave; Luna recomposed herself from the shock and stopped her.
Wait lady Aqua, if you're going to take on a quest for the rest of the day I like to make a recommendation.
Luna went to the quest board and returned with a paper in hand.
This is currently the easiest quest we have. It's about the extermination of giants frogs. Please bring it up if that man suggests anything dangerous. It might save your lives to start humble.
Thank you, I'll bring it up with him.
Aqua took the quest sheet and began to walk towards Crim.
Wait please lady Aqua! There's one more thing you should know.
What is it?
The giant frogs are nearly immune to blunt damage, so I'd recommend you get at least a broad sword before you face against them.
Thank you, I promise I won't forget all the help you given me.
And she left for Crim way. The tense atmosphere on the guild finally calmed and everyone deflated like they were holding their breath. Then the women began to bite their nails in jealousy and the men began to grind their teeth. A single one of them spoke up.
Nerdy adventurer: FUCK! I wanted them to break up.
And the guild was drowned in noise and anger as everyone hated the man in red. Walking at about half a block away when the guild erupted in rage.
What's that note you're holding?
Oh this? The guild lady said I should bring up this quest if you tried to make me do anything dangerous.
Oh that's it? All I need you to do is teleport to the demon king castle and defeat him before the evening so we can have some alone time.
Aqua stopped walking as she stood in shock. Crim noticed how she was lagging behind with her pale face and went back for her.
Is something the matter?
I a… I… don't know teleport.
A realization began to hit her. That strange misunderstanding she felt like he was having about her all along but she didn't cared enough to bother with.
Oh. Well just fly there. So long as you get back before the evening I won't complain.
[Submissive] I can't, fly, either.
[Confusion] Does that mean you have to walk there?
Y-yes, and also. Since I am a healer type and I even picked the healer class just now I… I can't defeat the demon king by myself. [Submissive, pokes finger tips]
Hold on a second, you're a goddess right? I know some might not be as powerful as some others but at the very least a god is something that is classified on a whole nether level from regular mortals. You even said a demon king wasn't worth your time. That's one of the reasons I've picked you, to force you to waste your time and save the world.
Well, the thing is…. Please don't hit me… You see… Demon kings are really powerful…. I am sorry… Some even more than us gods, and I in particular. I am sorry, don't hurt me…. Am a healer type goddess, I am sorry, I don't have any offensive powers to speak off…... And I can't defeat anyone…. I am sorry.
[Collapses] (She's joking right? Somebody tell me she's joking. I thought they just wouldn't bother getting their hands dirty and brought her here to do so. How can a goddess be this useless? No wait, her stats, her stats where high. Maybe she's strong and she just doesn't know it, her intelligence was low….. Oh my goddess that wasn't a fluke, her intelligence is really below average for mortals, she really is restarted. Ohhhhh I feel like I was sleeping on a house fire and I wasn't feeling the heat.)
Please don't hit me I am sorry please don't hit me I am sorry please don't hurt me I am sorry. I got carried away with all the praise and didn't pay attention to what you where implying, please don't hurt me I am sorry.
The couple fell in despair as they both rolled on the ground in defeat. The bystanders couldn't help but comment on their weird behavior.
Village kid: Mommy what are those kids doing? You told me I'd get dirty if I rolled on the dog pooped ground like that.
Village mother: Don't make eye contact junior. They might come and beg us for money.
The mother hushed away dragging his son with her. Crim finally recovered and got up dusting his clothes off.
No more daydreaming or fooling around, give me that quest. We'll see just what you're capable of and what not right now. There's no way some demon. King or not is above god, you just don't know the extent of your true powers. [Delusional]
That's right. I'm a goddess [Recovers, dust herself off]. I'll show you just how powerful I can be when I get serious. [Very delusional]
But first tell me what that guild girl said about the guest.
Huh what did she said?
She gave you a warning right before you left, but I could barely listen so I didn't catch up with what she said. You promised her you wouldn't forget her help remember?
Oh right I remember saying that to her, but I just can't remember what she told me, is probably nothing important.
(This goddess, this useless goddess) You know what, just for good measure I am getting a weapon.