The air shimmered with the residue of failed transmutation. Smoke curled lazily from a small, charred circle in the ground, and the smell of burnt disappointment hung heavily. Edward Elric glared at the ruined site, fists clenched. Alphonse, towering in his suit of armor, gently placed a hand on his brother's shoulder.
Then, from seemingly nowhere, a swirl of black coat and a puff of steam announced Adam's arrival. Coffee in hand, he surveyed the scene like a critic at a theater.
Environment: tragic. Opportunity: comedic. Performance: required.
"Hmm," Adam mused, swirling his coffee. "Failed resurrection attempt? Classic. Optional: despair. Correct: spectacle."
Edward blinked. "Who… who are you?"
Adam twirled dramatically. "Adam Thompson. Mentor of chaos. Purveyor of coffee. Teacher of all things… entertainingly correct."
Alphonse tilted his head. "Are you… going to help us…?"
Adam took a calm sip. Intervention… optional. Instruction… inevitable. "Correct. Step one: rethink your approach. Step two: make it hilarious."
Edward snorted. "Hilarious? We just failed to… you know… bring our mom back!"
Adam waved a dismissive hand. "Optional: guilt. Correct: amusement. The goal: understanding alchemy properly, with flair."
Alphonse raised an armored brow. "Properly? What do you mean?"
Adam pointed to the ruined transmutation circle. "This, my young transmuters, is what happens when you rush and panic. Optional: human transmutation. Correct: preparation and style."
Edward crossed his arms. "Preparation and style…? That's your lesson?"
Adam grinned. "Correct. And also… optional rules. Correct improvisation. Step three: watch and learn."
---
With a flourish, Adam grabbed a nearby rock. He drew a perfectly intricate transmutation circle in the dirt—not precise, just flamboyant—and tapped the center with a stick. The rock levitated, spun three times, then landed gently on a leaf, perfectly untouched.
Edward blinked. "Wait… it worked?"
Adam sipped his coffee. "Correct. Optional: panic. Correct: observation."
Alphonse tilted his head. "But… how?"
Adam raised a finger dramatically. "Key principles: intent, timing, and style. Optional: grim seriousness. Correct: flair. Alchemy is not just science—it's performance."
Edward frowned. "Performance? This isn't a magic show!"
Adam winked. "Optional: skepticism. Correct: experimentation. Now, watch."
---
Adam gestured wildly, plucking two sticks and a pebble. He drew a comically oversized transmutation circle on the ground, complete with spirals, stars, and a smiley face in the center. The pebble levitated, spun around the sticks like a tiny planet, then dropped perfectly into Adam's open palm.
Edward's jaw dropped. "You… you just… spun a rock?"
Adam nodded solemnly. "Correct. Physics optional. Control mandatory. Now, you try—but remember: flair."
Alphonse's massive armored hands hovered hesitantly over a pebble. Edward stepped forward, rolling his eyes.
Adam clapped. "Optional hesitation! Correct confidence! Begin!"
The boys attempted the transmutation. Sparks flew. The pebble bounced, skidded, and landed on Alphonse's foot. Edward flailed, accidentally drawing half the circle backward.
Adam tilted his head. "Optional failure. Correct: learning through chaos. Step two: adjust with style."
Edward groaned. "This is ridiculous!"
Alphonse looked at Adam. "It… kind of makes sense?"
Adam grinned. "Correct. Optional: disbelief. Correct: curiosity. Now, let's add… flair."
---
Adam drew a ridiculously intricate circle, complete with extra flourishes, spirals, and stars. He stomped his foot once, dramatically pointing at the pebble. It floated, then spun backward in a perfect arc, landing in Edward's open palm.
Edward stared. "You… did that on purpose?"
Adam sipped his coffee. "Correct. Optional: doubt. Correct: observation. Flair… mandatory."
Alphonse's eyes widened. "So it's about focus… and intention?"
Adam snapped his fingers. "Correct. And performance. Optional: panic. Correct: improvisation. Chaos is… part of the method."
Edward muttered, "I don't know if I trust this guy… but maybe he's onto something."
Alphonse nodded. "Yeah… it might help us in the future."
Adam beamed. "Correct. Optional: belief. Correct: experimentation. And remember, young transmuters: optional tragedy, correct comedy. Step four: always sip coffee while performing."
Edward groaned. "Coffee… seriously?"
Adam sipped, unfazed. "Mandatory. Proper mentorship requires caffeination."
---
Over the next hour, Adam guided the brothers through a series of absurd exercises. Pebbles were levitated into teacups. Leaves danced across the courtyard. A chicken wandered into the circle, inexplicably spinning in place before hopping safely out.
Edward and Alphonse grew more confident, laughing despite themselves. "I can't believe this is actually… kind of working," Edward admitted.
Adam twirled, coat flaring dramatically. "Correct. Optional: cynicism. Correct: delight. Alchemy is fun. Chaos is required."
Alphonse smiled. "We'll… we'll try this next time. Maybe it'll help."
Adam nodded solemnly. "Correct. Optional skepticism. Mandatory results."
---
As the sun set, painting the courtyard in golden light, Adam sipped his final cup of coffee. "Lesson complete. Optional: boredom. Correct: entertainment. Remember: alchemy is more than circles and stones—it's style, flair, and chaos. Improper use leads to… disappointment. Correct use leads to… spectacle."
Edward shook his head, smiling despite himself. "I still don't believe it… but I think we'll give it a try."
Alphonse chuckled. "Yeah… it's weird, but it makes sense."
Adam adjusted his coat one last time. Next stage… inevitable. Chaos… required. Performance… continuing.
The brothers exchanged a glance, unsure if they had just met a mentor, a madman, or some combination of both.
Ellie would have laughed. Joel would have muttered about insanity. But in this world of alchemy, Adam Thompson had arrived, turning failed transmutations into comic lessons and leaving Edward and Alphonse with something far more valuable than perfection: the joyful chaos of learning the correct path… in Adam's style.