The morning air was crisp, carrying the faint scent of metal and dust from nearby ruins. Adam leaned casually against a crumbling wall, coffee in hand, coat flaring dramatically in the wind.
Environment: semi-hostile. Targets: minor enemies. Opportunity: maximum comedic chaos.
"Today," Adam announced, voice booming, "we engage our first live enemies! Optional: catastrophe. Correct: spectacle. Mandatory: flair."
Edward groaned, rolling his eyes. "Flair again? I swear… this is insane."
Adam tilted his head. "Optional disbelief. Correct: engagement. Step one: assessment. Step two: improvisation. Step three: coffee."
Alphonse's armored hand hovered over a plank. "So… these are actual enemies?"
Adam nodded. "Correct. Optional fear. Mandatory entertainment. Step four: chaos coordination."
---
From the ruins, a small group of rogue alchemists appeared, snarling and preparing to attack. Edward tensed. "Okay… this is real."
Adam sipped his coffee calmly. "Correct. Optional panic. Mandatory performance."
Alphonse raised his armored fist. "We have to be careful…"
Adam flicked his wrist dramatically. "Correct. Optional caution. Correct: improvisation. Observe, adapt, flourish!"
---
The first rogue charged. Edward swung a plank, Alphonse lifted a barrel, but Adam—of course—vaulted over the rogue, landing behind him and flipping the enemy into a stack of crates. Coffee still in hand.
Edward blinked. "He… just flipped him into crates?!"
Adam nodded. "Correct. Optional disbelief. Mandatory spectacle."
Alphonse chuckled. "I think… I can actually do this now!"
Adam grinned. "Correct. Chaos integration is essential. Optional hesitation. Correct execution."
---
Another rogue approached, swinging a makeshift sword. Adam performed a pirouette, using a levitated plank to deflect the blade while simultaneously sipping coffee and flipping the opponent onto a nearby pile of rubble.
Edward muttered, "I can't believe that just happened…"
Alphonse laughed. "It… actually looks effective!"
Adam adjusted his coat. "Correct. Optional panic. Correct performance."
---
The battle escalated. Adam instructed Edward and Alphonse to combine their transmutations for coordinated attacks. Sparks flew, planks spun, barrels levitated, and rogue enemies toppled in perfectly timed chaos.
Edward slammed his plank with precision, Alphonse spun a barrel, and Adam, naturally, flipped dramatically over a crate to knock the last rogue into his own comrades.
Ellie would have been laughing hysterically. Joel would have been muttering incoherently. Adam? Calm, coffee in hand, coat flaring, performance impeccable.
Edward finally grinned. "Okay… I get it. Chaos actually works."
Alphonse nodded. "Yeah… it's ridiculous, but it works!"
---
Adam decided to "upgrade the lesson." He produced a wooden dummy dressed as a rogue alchemist and theatrically shouted, "Optional panic! Correct execution! Mandatory flair!"
Edward and Alphonse exchanged incredulous glances.
Adam sprinted, flipped, and kicked the dummy, sending it crashing into a barrel that toppled over another enemy—completely unplanned but perfectly timed.
Edward muttered, "I don't know how this is legal…"
Alphonse laughed. "I… I think we're learning something!"
Adam sipped his coffee. "Correct. Optional hesitation. Correct results."
---
After several rounds, Adam had the brothers attempt a coordinated combo against the remaining enemies. Sparks flew, barrels spun, planks flew like guided missiles, and rogue enemies toppled in a perfect slapstick ballet.
Edward gasped. "We… actually did it!"
Alphonse laughed. "We didn't just do it… we enjoyed it!"
Adam raised his coffee cup like a trophy. "Correct. Optional panic. Mandatory celebration. Combat transmutation: mastered… in style!"
---
By sunset, the ruins were littered with scattered debris, levitating planks, and toppled enemies. Edward and Alphonse were beaming with newfound confidence. Adam surveyed the scene like a proud general.
"Lesson complete. Optional boredom. Correct: success. Mandatory spectacle. Remember: alchemy is not merely circles and stones—it's improvisation, flair, and coffee. Combat… optional but fun."
Edward shook his head, grinning. "I… I still can't believe we survived… but we did it. And somehow, it was fun."
Alphonse chuckled. "Yeah… and we learned a lot."
Adam tipped his coffee cup. Next stage… inevitable. Chaos… required. Performance… continuing.
The brothers exchanged a glance, unsure if they had just met a mentor, a madman, or some combination of both. But one thing was certain: under Adam Thompson's guidance, even actual enemy encounters became comedic, educational, and wildly entertaining.