Clocks, like printers, are evil incarnate. Both are machines designed and built with a single purpose which is to make our lives easier. We silently rely on them to work properly yet they always fail at the most importunate times. Coincidence? I don't think so. As any agent in the bureau I have been trained in recognizing patterns and I can assure with complete confidence that clocks and printers have it against us. Coffee makers I'm not sure, but clocks and printers sure are evil.
"Sorry for being late, my alarm didn't go off today." I say right after joining the team for the morning brief. Not that anyone listened or cared. The bureau has a system that contrary to clocks, doesn't break so easily.
"And that concludes our morning briefing." Special agent Smith headed straight to his office and the rest scattered to act busy. I too would have done the same, but first I needed to grab a coffee.
"Late again?"
"Mhm." I say as I take mental note to add coffee makers to the evil machines list as the grimy substance on my cup cannot be called coffee.
"You didn't miss anything important."
"Any missing people?" I ask inwardly crossing my fingers.
"Nothing."
I nod in response, which is the closest thing to a smile you can offer a colleague this early in the morning, then I head to my desk to prepare for the day.
To an untrained eye, my desk is no different to the next one, but there's harmony in it. The same stationary articles, but carefully placed in a symphony of perfect order only other agents can appreciate. I have even caught Thompson stealing glances at my desk whenever he arranges his own, making small corrections in accord.
People think working as an agent is all thrilling adventures and excitement, but that is only because they watch too much TV. The job is much more about paperwork and much less about carrying a gun, though even us desk potatoes know how to use it.
If I had to name one thing I like about my job is paperwork. There's something about the sound a stapler makes when biting a freshly printed set of papers that soothes me. Especially in the quiet mornings such as these when no missing person cases were filed.
After carefully arranging the stack of papers into a folder I step into the boss' office with a well rehearsed fake cough. She doesn't even acknowledge my presence as I place the folder on her desk, perfect office etiquette.
The thing about paperwork is that you don't lose its weight when you get rid of it. Only after it's been carefully reviewed, printed in triplicate, signed, stamped and archived you get the relief. That leaves a window where you don't have anything to do, but you get in trouble if you're caught doing nothing.
Some people pick up smoking for this precise reason. As long as you have an excuse to step out the office no one says a thing, but the moment you are seen doing nothing you will either get reprimanded or assigned more work.
Me? I don't smoke. I just go to the break room and drink coffee. My doctor probably would prefer it if I just smoked, but although my job can be quiet some times it is also very demanding and even though this coffee might be causing a hole in my stomach it is also the only thing keeping me alive.
"Bob, the director needs to see you in her office." A colleague pokes his head inside the break room without stepping in. That's not a good sign, but then again, getting called to her office is never good news.
"You wanted to see me?"
"Yes." She said as she neatly arranged the papers before putting them on the folder, another thing I like about my boss.
"Did I make a mistake?" I ask, not defensively, just curious. If it's something as simple as a mistake there's a form to correct that.
"No, it's flawless as always. There's something else," She emits the polite fake cough that lets me know I went from a quiet morning to having my plate full for the day. "Special agent Ramirez is on medical leave and I need someone to cover for him."
I nod silently and exit the office, then head to my cubicle to grab some papers I pretend I'll need later, but news on the office travel fast.
"She picked you again? At least you'll get extra hours." A heavy hand rested on my shoulder as though offering condolences, then another hand joins in as I walk the hallway and so on.
I keep a straight face as the march continues until the placard that reads 'Induction' declares I reached the place where Ramirez was supposed to be today. The wooden door creaks open as I step in, then closes silently when I let go.
I place the papers I didn't need on the desk, then my badge and gun on the locker by the side. I slid the clearance card on the next door then casually input my code on the security keyboard beneath and the usual red light scans my eyes. The biometric scan is one of the things I don't like about this place, but the white room that opens before me is deserving of that level of security.
"Where Am I? What is this place?" A confounded voice asks from everywhere at the same time. I let it keep talking while studying the file. "please, is there anyone there?"
"Nathan Raines, your time on earth is over."
"What!? How is it possible? I was just..."
"I'm afraid I made a mistake and you were reaped before your time." I say the regular nonsense they've been fed through TV as it makes the transition easier.
"This can't be real... my life, my family... What's going to happen to me? Am I going to heaven."
"I'm afraid it's not that easy. You will now be sent to a different world where you will have a second chance at life."
"This is unfair..." The voice ponders then falls silent.
"The world you're being sent to has..." I make a pause to skim through the document once more then continue. "magic and different races."
"Magic? Other races!? Is it dangerous?"
"Yes, it is. But I feel bad for making the mistake and as a way to compensate you for your loss I will grant you a blessing that..."
"A cheat! My dream is finally true!"
'He's one of the weird ones.'
"Yes, a cheat. You will also keep all your memories of your past life. Go on, Nathan Raines. Thrive on this other world and remember..." Then I turned the microphone off and let my last words reverberate in the empty room before the light flashes.
It may seem cruel to leave people wondering what my next words were going to be, but it's protocol. I think it has something to do with them filling the rest of the sentence with whatever they think I was about to say.
It's not long until the next confused voice shows up, but this time I had enough time to read the entire file.
"Greetings, Shane Coston. The demon lord Azura has awaken and Lithiria needs you to step up and become the hero they deserve."
"Abigail Cooper, the life you always dreamed about awaits you."
"Samantha Fletcher, your life on this earth has ended." I look at the time and it's five minutes past lunch. Clocks really have it against me.
"What do you mean by that? I can't be dead. Hey, who said that? Are you listening to me?"
I leave the voice doing what the voices always do. Lunch time takes precedence over everything. Besides, it's not like she will be any more dead if I step out for half an hour, but my doctor has warned me several times to eat healthy and that not only includes the contents of my lunch but also timing.
I was half way done with my tuna sandwich when the boss called me to her office again. Thinking it was just a small thing about paperwork I left the sandwich on the table hoping to get a chance to finish it before going back to cover for Ramirez, but I never did get the chance to touch that sandwich.
"We have a situation and you're the only one I can trust with this," She carried on explaining how we were short staffed and overworked, the usual thing to say before landing the last nail on the coffin. "I need you to work on site."
"But I'm a desk agent..." I try to rebuke.
"And agent is still an agent." She shook her head.
Before I knew it my desk at the missing person cubicle was wiped off. My neatly organized stationary put into a box that would never see the light of day again.
"Is anybody there!? Someone, please help me! What is going on!?" Samantha Fletcher clamored in the empty white room. Unfortunately for her, it would take them a few hours before they found someone to cover Ramirez' replacement.