You know the saying, when in Rome do as the Romans do? Well I do, And i absolutely abhor it. To those goddamn Normies enjoying their hypocritical lives, They tend to care about their popularity and their image, and as such shall do not so good things to maintain that image.
They fold into society, they amalgamate together to keep their status and gang up on others who have not done what they did, or haven't had the chance yet. This, most of the time results in trauma, or a deep distrust of everybody for those who have been, In the language of Damien-san, Gangbanged by those fucking Normies.
Yes, I hate the saying. But I also hate myself, And since I already loathe my miserable pathetic existence at the bottom of the social ladder, I could literally care less about what I'm about to do.
I shall, As the westerners say it, Do as the Romans Do. Or in this case, What the soviets do.
The hot Afghan sun beat down the back of my neck, making me sweat as I silently hoped for a cool breeze to blow by. Heat is good for you and all,, but too much, much like water can kill you ya know?
I stand still as I keep my eyes forward, knowing at least the basics from those training manuals that I scavenged off of dead Soviet soldiers much like a mouse and a slice of cheese. I should be happy. Euphoric even!.....But, I still know that this is wrong.
Yuri Sokolov is a dead soldier. He was dead the moment Me and those goddamn terrorists ambushed him and his squad. And here I was, living as him as he is about to receive a medal. A medal that he never earned. Sigh. Life is such a pain in the ass sometimes.
....Ah, who am I kidding? Who am I to have to start having a conscience?
With a solemn face I stand at attention when the Woman finally steps in front of me. My eyes never looked into Hers, instead looking into the far off horizon, with a blank, empty professional gaze of a paratrooper.
She keeps a solemn face, same as I. With a forced cough, She starts, Taking the small medal from the small open box that her attendant held, Borris I believe his name was.
With a serious pause, she angles the medal to my uniform so that she can pin it one go.
"For your meritorious service for the soviet union, I am proud to award you the order of Lenin!" She said as she pinned the medal on my stolen uniform, Offering me her hand after she did so.
"I serve the Soviet union." I say quietly, accepting her hand and shaking it. I swiftly finish and salute, to which she does the same. And just like that, The ceremony was over. Huh, not as bad as I thought.
I'm met with polite applause from the rest of the paratroopers as I look around, trying my best to conceal the look of mystification on my face. Why would all of you clap? After all, I'm just a replacement. I'm a nobody. And hopefully, a nobody that will be gone with the wind soon. God I'm so uncomfortable right now. What I would do for a smoke~....Shit now I know how Shiratsuka sensei feels. How pathetic of me….
With polite nods to the applauding, smiling men I attempt to make my way to the tent that I've been designated. If anything, the tent shall at the very least, give me some shade from this damned sun eh?
As I turn to leave, I feel a firm grip upon my shoulder. Firm, yet gentle.
"Hold on there comrade Sokolov, You aren't thinking of retiring to your tent yet are you?" Sofiya asks me with a smile, a mixture of smugness and excitement.
To this, I merely raise an eyebrow, and to that she raises her other free hand. A hand that coincidently grasped a bottle of Vodka. Shit! I can't drink that woman! I'd die!
"Aha….You see, comrade Pavlovna, It is quite hot….." I say, a weak attempt but an attempt nevertheless damnit!
"?Heat? Ha! You are one comedian comrade! Come, we shall drink." She said with a giggle. Her hand that was on my shoulder never loosening, not even a bit.
"I shall allow no less for the man who saved me from certain death yesterday!" She continues, this time with her men joining in on the fun.
"I did what anybody would have done." I say, Looking her straight in the eyes, Maybe this will scare her off!
"...." She did nothing but smile at me.
"....." I don't like this.
"Comrade?" She asks, finally breaking a brief yet dreadful pause.
"Yes?" I say, unsure on how to respond.
"Drink."
….Ah Fuck.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So, anyway. Me and the lads (Along with the ladies) All gathered up and bullied the small group of little girl bullies that were bullying the small little girl!" I exclaimed with a chuckle, man that Vodka is fucking me up~
"Pft!"
"Ha!
I received laughter and snickers from the rest of the men gathered around me, each of them equally drunk and happy as they reminisce about the old days with me.
"Man Yuri, you really had one hell of a pioneer camp experience!" One of the men says, his face plastered with a scarlet blush, man he was just as fucked up as me. What was his name again? B...bob? Babushka? Ah, it was Boris.
"Eh, It's life you know? There's always going to be some bullshit mixed up in there." I say with a defeated sigh, Leaning back on my chair as I do so.
"Indeed, Life is full of bull shit." Sofiya cuts in. A sadistic smile plastered on her face as she slaps my back. Damn it woman, that stings don't you know?
"Ah. Comrade Pavlovna, I am glad you agree with my thoughts." I say with a nervous smile. What does she want now?
"Comrade Yuri, You did me a favor, now I'm going to do you a damn bad one~"
"...." I raise a brow at her. I don't like where this is going….
"You are now hereby Private first class!" She says with cheer.
"Oh thank god-" I manage to say before I get cut off by this woman.
"And~ Now a part of my company!" She continues on almost sadistically, terrifying even.
I must ask though, why? Has she figured out my intentions? If so, why didn't she shoot me on the spot? Damn woman and the games they play. Just when you think you've got one figured out, they suddenly flip the entire fucking table up on you.
"Er...I see…" I say nervously, not sure on what to say, or hell, even do really.
"...What? You are not happy?" She asks, with a slightly irritated frown on her face. The men are silent now, eager and curious on how this conversation is going to play out.
"Erm, No. It's not that, It's just….Why?" I ask, with a troubled face. Trying to look for a clue.
"...Why?" She asked with a pause, raising a brow as she did so, seemingly taken aback and confused by my question.
"....Well, if I had to specify why….Then i suppose it's because...I like the look in your eyes~" She said with a chuckle, obviously taking the piss outta me.
To this the other chuckle as they boisterously pat me on the back. Ah, that hurts dammit. Oi, stop that. Have any of you ever heard of this concept called personal space?
"Welcome aboard comrade! It shall be all of our pleasures to fight with you!" Borris cheerfully exclaimed, pouring me a drink as everyone around me cheered.
".....I don't really have a say in this, do i?" I asked rhetorically, sighing as I disregarded the cup, and took a massive swig from the bottle.
Okay, So far, They won't send me back to the union. Fine. I can work with that. But this? What the hell am I supposed to do? I am now officially one of them. Hell, this woman, Sofiya specifically got me to be under her command. Meaning I'm now under tight watch. I don't know what she wants from me. Hell, even now I don't clearly know why she wants me in her unit. I just don't have enough information on hand to work with.
Clicking my tongue, I took yet another devastating swig from that damned bottle as the others cheered me on. Damned Russians and their correct stereotypes! Shit, my mouth and throat is burning so fucking much right now!
The camp fire burned bright as it's cackling flames danced around, much like fairies in the night. Seemingly taunting me as I couldn't help but look at them in distaste. Sighing, I take a drag from my ever dwindling supply of cigarettes as I take a drag, the smoke that I expel joining the fairies, if not briefly then forever.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The campfire quietly cackled, making that pleasant sound that you always hear in those ambience videos for some reason. With one eye on the horizon and one on the pleasantly warm little pile of fire, I slowly took a sip of coffee from my mug.
Night's like these were almost certainly calm and chill however, the enemy weren't that stupid to attack at night. I mean, why attack when you can, you know, sleep?
That's why I hardly reacted to the confident, yet slightly loud footsteps belonging to the person behind me. Trust me, only Soviets can walk like that. Not to mention the fact that I could smell the booze off of them.
Seriously, with a stench that strong, I can tell exactly where they are 6 miles away!
I silently took another sip from my cup of coffee.
I knew who was behind me.
The soft, gentle breathing?
It could only belong to a woman.
And as far as I know, there was only one woman in this camp.
"Oh my, First day on the job and you already take the first 2 hours of firewatch? I knew I liked you." Sofiya said as she joined me around the campfire, a worn smile on her face as she chuckled a little.
"Nah, I'm just too tired to sleep." I reply, not looking at her. My gaze on the ever hostile horizon. Most of the time the enemy wouldn't be stupid enough to attack. But there's always that one off chance. And you wouldn't want to be caught with your pants down in a situation like that.
".....You too? Man my hunches are terrifying sometimes." She said with the smallest, barely noticeable traces of disbelief. Before pausing as she scoffed a little before joining me in gazing at the barren, desolate wasteland before us. Shaking her head slowly with an amused smile all the while as she did so.
"..." After a long pause, Her expression softened. Changing from a look of confidence and ease, to a look of relief and fear.
"....I find myself unable to sleep nowadays." She whispered softly, as If afraid that the whole world might hear her.
I raise a brow to this, Why tell me? I hardly know you woman!
"....Well comrade Pavlovna, I think everyone is much too tired to sleep nowadays." Was my nonchalant reply as I took a sip from my mug of coffee, severely sweetened I must add. It isn't MAX, But It'll do.
"Hah! I appreciate the attempt, Yuri, But I must ask you to stop, I need no pity, just a listener." She said with a mirthless chuckle. The stench of alcohol was very much apparent in her breath as she took a deep sigh.
"....." Looking at the stars, she showed a sad smile, seemingly aware of how small and insignificant it was.
"...Do you ever look at the stars, and think about how little and insignificant you are compared to them? How, no matter what you do, how successful you are, one little mistake can take it all away?"
"...Heh. For quite some time now, I've played this facade of a strong leader. A leader that will never abandon her men, a leader that inspires confidence, and in that? Loyalty. I've learned to control my emotions, hell I don't even allow them to show half the damn time anyway~" She lazily said as the shadows of the campfire danced across her pale luminescent face.
"I pretend to be in control. But in reality? I'm really not. Really. I had no control over that situation. If you weren't there? I would have died, splat just like that. One mistake, All it takes is one single mistake. And then? You're gone everything you've done is for naught."
"It's just, We Humans are so fragile, you know?
"...I suppose, that is why I was so happy when I met you. Those, cold, cruel uncaring eyes that showed disdain to anything it was shown, the hatred of it all? The contempt? I felt as if I was looking at my own reflection. Oh! But don't get me wrong! I was also grateful when you saved me from that sniper as well…."
"It's just, you're the first person out of everyone that I've met, that doesn't hide their contempt for the world. The men? They laugh it all up, pretend. They pretend that everything is fine, when in reality? It really isn't. You however, don't pretend. Look, even earlier, when I told you that you were to be in my unit, you looked at me as if I were a wild beast or something~" She chuckled softly.
"...So imagine my joy when I found you. Your eyes were, and ARE full of hate, but at least it showed emotion yes? And in that cruel, messed up world, that counts for something…" She said bitterly, her face contorted in righteous, tenable anger, for just the briefest of seconds.
Sigh.
".. .I'm not a nice girl Yuri, I never was. And yet, everyday I must smile and act like something I'm not….I just, I just don't know what's right anymore. I try to do what's right, but it just feels pointless. Hell, It's even pointless to even tell you this, I mean, what can you do? What can anyone do?" She whispered defeatedly.
"...Yes, what can anyone do? I joined to do what was right, To restore the honor of my father...It just feels like I'm spilling blood in his name, trying to justify all this wanton killing, no?" She smiled painfully, even now she was trying to look strong, A foolish endeavor.
"....Forgive me. I know not why I have become like this. It just feels like, you're a good person, you know? Someone genuine amidst this sea of cruel lies. It's….Almost as if fate itself brought you here….To me." I almost scoffed at this. If it's fate that I'm here then it shall be coincidence when I'm gone.
"...." She broke into a painful silence as she gazed longingly into the night, desperately yearning and pining for an escape.
I continue my silence as I take yet another sip of that sickeningly sweet coffee. I don't need to say anything. After all, what can I say? She's drunk as it is, so it's highly unlikely that she would remember anything I say to her.
I don't have any particular desire to know more about her either. I mean, yeah, sure she's pretty I guess. But at the end of the day, I don't even want to be here. So her breath is wasted on me. But eh, it might be for the better. If I'm lucky, I'll be gone within the month, On a truck headed for Moscow or some shit.
I let out a tired sigh. This is a situation beyond fucked up. And Ironically, the woman next to me also knows it. Albeit having a slightly different understanding then my own.
"....You know, You're the only one to call me my last name you know?" She said with a small, yet grateful smile.
I raised a brow at this, not bothering to speak.
"Everyone calls me Kapiten, Just Kapiten. No last name added, just my rank. Hell, for a while I started to believe that everyone in this forsaken world had forgotten my name in its entirety~" She let out a low chuckle, her eyes with a pained look.
"...Say, Yuri?" She asks after a long, uneasy pause.
I kept quiet. My knowledge in Russian was already quite limited, and I barely knew what to say as is, So i merely nodded my head attentively. Showing her that I'm listening, for what good that is. Thank god that i've somehow managed to just barely understand what these people are saying. And she's been speaking for a while as well, sooner or later she'll say an unintelligible sentence and I wouldn't be able to understand her.
"...Could you….Say my name?....Please?" She asked sheepishly, asking me with big, innocent shy eyes. It also didn't happen to help that I happened to look right at her as this happened, Her womanly charms hitting me at mach 5 like a full speed truck hitting some random highschooler in a trashy i transferred into another world light novel.
Urgh! My heart! Dammit woman, I really will get the wrong idea! And what the fuck is wrong with you? We literally just met yesterday! Are Russian girls this forward? How the fuck do the men deal with this? Argh!
"....."
I look away nervously, not wanting to say it. I may be playing a Russian but my heart is still pure japanese damn it! First names are what you call your lover by, not some rando you literally just met a day ago!
"...Yuri?" She asked once again, Innocently I might add. Which is something far worse than asking me seductively. She wasn't lusting over me, she wasn't manipulating me, she was asking me much like a scared little girl. And that was painful to listen to.
"...Yuri?-" She started once again before I quickly cut her off. Despite my best tries, a crimson blush adorning my face.
"Stop…." I say, Her pleading eyes still locked onto me, her trembling, glossy lips almost tempting me as I let out a defeated sigh. Seriously, I might just fall in love with this woman if exposed to her anymore!
"....Sofiya…." I utter quietly as she looks at me expectantly, her expression too painful to look at.
"...." A long moment passed as I heard nothing from her, Only gentle breathing as it felt as though my heart might explode at any moment.
"....." Really? Silence? Dammit woman, say something! You can't just leave a man hanging like that! Especially after that shit you pulled off! sigh….What even is this?
The sight of her sleeping sitting upright greeted my eyes as I groaned in embarrassment, taking a sip of my coffee to cover up my embarrassment. Thank god nobody is up at this ungodly hour!
…...Ah whatever, she'll wake up with a hangover in the morning with no recollection of this….probably?
Sigh.
Seriously, what the hell was that sudden outburst of desperate affection?...Man, vodka is a scary thing.
….Getting drunk was a scary thing.
Thank god she fell asleep, otherwise I wouldn't know what i would have done! I've no plans to stay either, first chance i get, I'm hauling ass straight outta dodge!
…..Though I can't say that this isn't nice either….No! The fuck am I saying? I need to draw a clear line with these people and keep far away from it! I didn't come here to make friends, I came here to hitch a ride home!
…...I'm tired of this, I really am.
Why am I here? Just to suffer?
…...Well, whatever. I don't really know anymore. Taking yet another sip of my coffee I Attentively prod at the campfire, making sure that the fire doesn't go out. Letting out yet another sigh, Despite my better judgement, I lend her my stolen coat. Draping it around her shoulders much like a blanket as the cold night breeze fluttered by.
Beside a soviet beauty, at night with a Kalishnakov by my side in Afghanistan? Heh, it sounds like a shitty light novel name.
The flames cackled quietly as I gazed into the night starry, admiring the moon even as I relaxed my posture, countless thoughts and memories flooding through my mind.
There was a time once where I might have wished for something like this. Well, not exactly like this, no. God no, I would never willingly wish to be stuck in afghanistan in the 80's desperately fighting for my life.
….Maybe for like, a classic fantasy setting? Where I, the chosen hero must fight the demon lord and restore peace to the land!.....Maybe scoring a princess or two along the way, Hey, I mean, why not?
Now I have the worthless achievement of Killing both Soviets and Mujahideen, along with a staggering addiction to cigarettes. And a distaste for sleep. Why sleep you ask? Why when you sleep, you're vulnerable. Anything can happen to you while you're unconscious, including getting your throat slit whilst you dream about home.
It's a terrible thing, dying like that, choking on your own blood. Ugh, I just got shivers thinking about that.
Oh, I also got the order of Lenin….What ever the fuck that is.
…...Now that I think about, what is the exact plan to go home? Wait for a supply convoy and sneak in a truck as they go back to replenish supplies? No, I don't know if they go directly into Russia, It would be a helluva drive if they did.
My initial plan was thus: Find a ride to russia, get dropped off a city, take a train to vladivostok and then take a ship to japan. Simple really….But now that I think about, It would be, at the very least, a month long voyage. With too many risks as well, I could get caught with relative ease at any stage of this plan.
….Do I have to steal a helicopter? Fly my way outta the country and into china?....No, the commies would most likely lock me up in prison, and the helicopter won't have enough fuel…. Drag this until the war ends? Sorry but I never really paid attention in class about this shit, Hell I don't even remember being taught this shit! So that's a no go, For all I know the war could drag on for years. There's also the fact that I might, you know, Die. And I sure as hell refuse to die in this shit hole of a country!
I grit my teeth in exasperation. I'm In now, The question, How in the hell am I supposed to get out?
The silence of the night along with the quiet cackling of the campfire are the only responses I get as I desperately seek Answers for half assed questions.
Tch.
I click my tongue distastefully as my mind is overloaded with useless hypotheticals.
I need a breather, Something to do as I take my mind off this disaster that is my life.
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice a guitar…..Sigh, Should I though? I mean, It has been a long time….
Ah, What ever. It should be okay….Right? I at least know the basics. Maybe, a quick tune or two will inspire me with a solution or something.
Ah, but what to play though, What to play indeed….
Tch!
Fuck it!
I'll just string some cords randomly and play a song from those coords!
No singing though, God forbid I ever sing again. That shit is ass.
And just like that, I play the night away, My fingers fumbling here and there. Awkwardly as I try to do it correctly, but still. I do it.
It's an old tune. But it was the first thing that came to mind as I started playing. The gentle, slow coords, bringing me back to a much more simpler time.
.....
You know, Somehow this makes my shitshow of a life a little better. Playing a song around a campfire makes you feel kind of melancholic for a memory that never existed.
...Man, I want to go home now.
Komachi, If you're somehow seeing this, Don't tell mom that I'm in Afghanistan.
...Pft! What a stupid fucking thought.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I yawned lazily as I stood in line for chow. Out of the entire night I got, at best, what? 2 hours of sleep? Which honestly, was fine with me. I much prefer being conscious then being unconscious any way.
As it was early in the morning, nobody really was in the mood for any talking, which was fine with me. I was always the quiet type anyway. It was like that at school as well. I would be that one loner that read light novels and chuckle creepily to himself whilst he wore headphones.
You know, That kid.
I tiredly made my way through the line, patiently waiting for some hot grub to fill my belly. I wasn't excited for the grub either, Army food will always be army food. Meaning that it'll taste like shit. And won't come out for a coupla days, like a constipated shit.
Eh, I'll just drink some milk if that happens, Lol.
As I made my way up the line, the smell of hot food assaulted my nose, and I honestly had no reaction to it. Food was food. That's the end of it. Now was it shit? Yes, most definitely.
With my hands holding the tray, I nodded silently at the guy on kitchen duty, who simply nodded as he let that scoop of whatever the fuck out of the scooper drop onto my tray. Man, Have I ever told you how much I hate army life?
"Spasiba." I say with yet another nod, curtly leaving the line as soon as I get my food. Retreating to the confines of my standard issued tent. No need to befriend anybody here, I'm just another man in this unit. I'm perfectly fine with solitude.
It's a short walk, but somehow I make it. And epicly, I take a seat on the ground, already starting to shovel this shitty, terrible food inside my mouth…..What? You thought there would be more? There's nothing to see here. Just a normal (Kinda broken) man enjoying his food early in the morning. So forgive me if there's not that much action.
Yes, contrary to popular belief, Army life is quite boring and slow. If you don't go out on patrol and look for a fight, most of the time you're not gonna get one. Though, I'm probably gonna get sent on a patrol soon. I'm a "paratrooper" after all. One of those Special, elite troops that the red army has to offer the world.
My time in the Mujahadeen wasn't all that much different either. It was mostly just hiking around the place, looking at enemy positions and either hitting them, or backing off. Only to engage other enemies in a position favorable to us. At this point, I've done it all. It's the same to me. The only thing different with the Mujahadeen was that I got to nibble on hershey bars that the Americans would supply us with, and sometimes drink some of that sweet, rare coke~
Out of the corner of my eye as I take a bite out of my shitty grub, I spot Sofi- That woman walking by. Sheesh, that was close.
I almost called her by her name.
Yeah, I know what you're thinking. But Hachiman! What's wrong with you calling her by her name?
Well for one, Think of it like you're keeping a pet or something. You pick up a stray, you give it a name, call it a name, and soon? You'll be attached the damned thing like it was your family member or something. Trust me, it was the same with Kamakura.
Anyways, rant aside. She sees me as well and lets out a surprised gasp, a crimson blush now adorning her face as she makes an excuse to leave the man she was conversing with.
Sheesh Woman. Way to be discreet.
Who was he? I dunno. An officer maybe? I don't really care much for shit like that. To every man his own I say~ I think to myself as I take another bite of the meat stew on my tray.
I see the men greet her as she makes her way to me. Affectionately and respectfully giving her this morning's greetings. That She, with a strained smile, has to politely give back.
I'll give it to the woman. She knows how to fake a 'I don't want to talk with you right now, So i'll just give you a brief greeting and go smile'
Sigh, takes me back to middle school really.
As I take yet another bite, I notice that my coffee is ready. A joyous occasion that happens daily for me. Without coffee, I can't live. That right there is a well established fact. But wait, there's more~! I found a cheap, natural sweetener that Is, somehow a common item here~
Say hello to my friend, Sữa Ông Thọ! Aka mr Longevity~ It really caught on with me,like that one vietnamese balm or whatever the fuck it was called to the Soviets.
As I take a small sip, a small, barely noticeable smile forms on my face.
Ah~ There really is nothing like taking a small sip of coffee in the morning!~
Life is already bitter enough as is, So in conclusion, It's only natural to be Longing a little sweetness in life. Nothing wrong with that at all I say, Nothing wrong at all~ Heh, get it? Longing? Clever pun, I know. I'm just hilarious like that.
Crunch Crunch.
Ah, Shit. She's approaching me now. I can tell just by the sound of those steps
Hey, you think maybe if I act like she isn't there, she'll go away?
…..
Nah, Who am I kidding? That never works, ever.
Come on! Can't I ever get a break? Please? Bro, I am not in the mood right now. Come on dude, please!
"Yuri!" She calls out to me, a bit loudly. Anxiety clear in her voice.
Welp, Didn't expect that to work. I think to myself as I take another small sip of my coffee.
The woman is standing right in front of me now with a panicked, flustered face. Sheesh way to be subtle….Wait hol up. Nani the fuck? What are you doing woman? Why are you fixing your hair like that?
Oh hell naw, I am not having any of this right now. I almost fell for you once, Not again! That shit wont work on me Sofi- Woman.
"....Comrade Pavlovna." I say coldly, taking a sip from my mug as I do so. Trying my best to lay out a clear line between us.
"Ah, ahem!...Comrade Yuri...I..must thank you for allowing me to borrow your coat last night." She says with a rosy smile, a smile that would melt the heart of any man as she returns my coat to me.
"....Da, It was only a natural thing to do." I say awkwardly, trying my best in Russian to not use any words that would suggest familiarity or kinship. As I accept my totally righteous stolen piece of equipment.
"And..uh, Allow me to apologize for last night. You see, I was drunk, and was not thinking straight." She said nervously, looking at me with the gaze of an embarrassed child caught past their bedtime.
"Think nothing of it Comrade Pavlovna, We all get drunk. We all have our moments that we would prefer not to talk about, or even think about, really." I say, waving it off.
"So...You remember the events of last night, then?" She asked quietly, not daring to look me in the eyes.
"...." I say nothing as I close my eyes and slowly nod my head.
"I…I see. I am truly sorry for the...uncomfortable situation that I put you in, It's just that-"
"No worries Comrade Pavlovna, you have my assurance that I will not speak to anyone about this matter. In fact, Lets just pretend that last night, never happened, Da?" I ask, A well rehearsed question that I practiced through the entire night for this exact situation in fact.
"Erm, I, I see. Yes, that would perhaps be for the best…" She said after forcing a cough, clearly grateful that she and I are of the same opinion. This was already an awkward solution, and this in itself was the best solution to the problem.
Though, It has been in my mind all this time however. Why me? I just can't accept that stupid, dumbass reason she gave me last night, why. Me?
….. Shit, this would probably jeopardize my proposed solution, But I have to know. Why? All the people I've known so far, I understood.
Understanding is one of the few things that I'm proud of.
Hell, I can say it's one of my few talents.
Saika? He's a nice, humble guy that gets along with everyone.
Zaimokuza is just a Nerd with middle schooler syndrome that doesn't know how to write.
Yukinoshita is a sharp tongued girl full of wit that mercilessly destroys anyone she doesn't like.
Yuigahama Is that one normal girl that tries to get everyone to get along with each other and is also part of the clique of cool, popular kids.
Hayato? He's a beta male.
Tobe? A loser.
Ah. But that's neither here nor there.
Sofiya Pavlovna should be your stereotypical heroine protagonist, cool, and loved by all. Hardened by the battlefield, she's a tough cookie with a history. So that's Why I absolutely refuse to accept the fact that she had confided in me all her fears and insecurities to me, drunk, just because of my eyes.
Hatred? Contempt? Don't make me laugh woman. Even without me being here, I would still have the same eyes. A person after all, never really changes, It's the acts and reasoning that does.
I'm a Logical man, thus, for the sake of my understanding of Humanity I'm telling ya, not because of anything else, I'm going to bite this bullet and ask her.
One question.
Two words.
"Why, me?"
"....Huh?" She asks, taken aback by my sudden question. My logical, inquisitive eyes studying each and every feature on her pale face.
I have to know dammit.
I'm already stuck in this shithole. With absolutely no fucking clue on how i got stuck here.
I don't understand much as it is.
I just want to know that I at least understood something in this shit hole. Anything really.
So imagine my pain when the woman merely smiled and said the same damn thing she said to me yesterday.
"It's because I like your eyes." She said before turning around walking away.
I could only stare at her with my jaw open as she strutted away.
It was only a few seconds however, before she stopped and looked at me.
"Oh and Yuri? I ask myself that same question every night." She said with a smile. A pained smile as her melancholic eyes flashed with a sadness of shattered innocence.
As she walked away, I noticed it. It was small, minuscule really. You wouldn't have noticed it with a second glance, It was terribly tiny.
But for the briefest of a nanosecond, I saw her legs trembling helplessly.
So she, just as I, was also a liar huh?
"...."
Sigh.
No matter what, I don't think I'll ever truly understand women.
With a defeated sigh, I took yet another bite out of that damned shitty army grub, and took a small sip from my sickeningly sweetened coffee. And relaxed my posture so that I looked into the morning sunny sky, with nary a cloud in sight..
.....I just can't catch a break with her huh?
With an exasperated moan, I muttered the truth quietly.
"As expected, my life is so wrong"