I never thought Darion would ever let me leave like that. Every time I've ever turned my back to him, he's always pulled me right back. This time, he let me walk out. Maybe I did something wrong, maybe I took it too far.
After I walked out on him and got into the elevator, I left the entire facility. I ran into Ethan and conflicted with him as I attempted to leave. But of course my best friend Natalie always pops up when I'm in trouble.
She backed me up when I argued with Ethan. She came into the middle of the argument, she had no idea what was going on. Yet, she still sided with me as if she knew what was going on. Now, I laughed at that. Back then, I just knew who my real friend was. It's always been Natalie.
We left the facility together and went to a hotel. I'll be damned if I slept with Darion after that. I should had known, he's a powerful man. He's power hungry. Natalie and I shared a bed that night. I felt like we were little again.
Back in the day, about ten years ago. I wasn't the normal twelve year old girl, I was matured greatly. By then I had experienced so much loss, that I was just out there. I was destroyed and dysfunctional mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Back when I was twelve, my physical abilities were the only abilities I had.
"Goodnight Natalie." I said softly.
"Night Rosey Posey." She replied.
I felt safe at that moment. It was because I knew no matter what my loved ones had my back. It's been like that for twenty years now, we'll never stab on each other.
"Wake up." Her soft voice spoke. "It's time to get up."
I opened my eyes, seeing Natalie my face. I wanted to push her for being so close, but instead I just told her I was awake and yawned.
"Girl go brush your teeth! Morning breath is too deadly!" Natalie shouted as she crawled off the bed.
I laughed. "Damn, okay Natalie."
I stood on my feet and went to the bathroom. I was shocked to see her, I haven't seen her in awhile. My little sister, Genesis. Genesis real mother and father died not too long before my mother died. Her mother was beautiful, we always hear about how inarticulate she left people with her beauty. Maybe that's why Genesis was prettier than me.
She's the same age as Sincere Jr. They were the youngest among us. We were known as the fab five in the streets. Natalie, Sincere, Kristian, Genesis, and I. I was the leader of the group. I was the oldest, was the most mature anyway.
Genesis took her long hair out of the bun. She flat ironed it slowly, paying me no attention. I stepped into the bathroom, quickly recognizing everything now. My childhood home, in South St. Louis. Genesis peeked me through her peripheral vision and tired to me.
"You okay?" She asked.
The urgent knock hit on our front door before I replied. Kristian yelled for us to open it immediately. Natalie rushed, beating me to the door. She was fast, fast when it was important the most.
She opened the door for Kristian. He held Sincere across his shoulders. He was badly injured. He was bruised badly, bleeding, grimacing from pain. Kristian brought him in and laid him out on the bed.
"Really?" Genesis yelled. "Your going to get blood on our only bed!"
I remember this day like it was yesterday. No, like it was ten minutes ago. This was too familiar, this was ten years ago. Sincere had started a beef with a bunch of teenagers, they found him off guard and jumped him. I remember this so clearly, because I was so angry. This day was probably the most bitter day of my life. Sincere was barely breathing, I thought he was sure to die. I told Genesis to stay with him and left to find a phone to communicate any help for Sincere.
Natalie brought us to a neighbors home and politely asked could we use their phone. Kristian was angry as well, Sincere was his rider. We were all each other's riders. We were all hungry for revenge, but I didn't realize how more hungry I was than them until the end of that night.
"Here Rose." Natalie tossed me the house phone.
I dialed the number without hesitation. I had many people to call, many different plugs. I could easily eliminate anyone of this planet by getting someone else to do it, but this time I wanted to watch them suffer myself. I wanted to get my payback on my own that day. I'm evil, that day the evilness was shown.
"Who the hell is this?" Pisa answered the phone. She was twenty-two years old. She ran the city, because she had been in the game her whole life. She was a genius, played the game smart and survived. Not many people got to say they survived the streets, but Pisa did. Even though she was still in the streets because the game was all she knew. I didn't believe anybody survived the streets. I believed the streets killed everyone. Rather you were in the grave or not, you were still dead inside.
"Pisa, it's Rose. I don't think Sincere has much longer!"
"Hold up! Calm down girl! Breathe before you speak to me like that!"
"He's at home." I slowed my talking speed and breathed as she ordered. I always looked up to Pisa, even when I beat her whenever we fought Zt training. "He's in critical condition. He needs help."
Legally, I was a member of Ztg. Zero Tolerance Gang. Pisa led them to being the most lethal and feared gang in the city. The only gang next to them was led by the brains of Ambria, 5150. Ambria was intelligent over the moves she made with her gang. They weren't even a gang anymore like Ztg, they weren't drug dealers at least.
The only reason I didn't hang with the people in Ztg was because I wanted to be the biggest piece in fab five. Pisa wouldn't take Natalie, Kristian, Sincere, or Genesis in the gang because she felt they weren't hard enough to survive. So I left to be with them.
"Let me call Ambria and tell her to get somebody down there." Pisa replied.
"Pisa, can you find out where Marion lives?"
She laughed. "He's the one who fucked Sincere up?"
"I see nothing funny." I was too serious to hear any laughter.
"Yes I know where he lives Rose. Near Bellflowers Apartment Complex, Downtown."
"Thanks." I hung up the phone call and tossed the phone back to Natalie.
"So what's up?" Natalie asked.
"Go back with Sincere, others from 5150 will be here to assist with his aid." I ordered.
"You going after Marion alone?" Kristian jumped in.
"Yes, I am."
"They'll kill you."
"You don't know me."
"I know you well enough Rose!"
I rolled my eyes with a slight smile. "I'm walking downtown and back. I'll be back tomorrow."
"Are you fucking crazy?" Kristian called at me as I walked off.
"Kris, it's pointless. Let her go, let's get back to Sincere." Natalie wanted to be with her brother.
I wasn't really walking all the way Downtown from the South Side. After walking a few blocks I knocked on someone's front door. An old black grandma answered the door, so I turned the sweetest voice I possibly could on.
"Hi, my name is Rose. My mommy drop me off over my brother house and said she'll be back by now. She hasn't arrived yet and my brother doesn't have a phone." I got her.
"Ohh don't worry honey! You can come and use my phone boo."
"Thank you." I smiled at her and stepped into her home. I got the phone and dialed a different number then before. "Mommy can you come pick me up from my brothers house, it's Rose."
"What the fuck?" Jordan asked. "Where yo ass at."
I waited for grandma to leave the room, but she didn't. So I walked away slowly as I spoke. I couldn't speak directly what I wanted, so I gave Jordan codes. He was twenty-two years old like Pisa. He wasn't in the game and dedicated his entire life like Pisa, but he was a survivor of the struggle. He had been through a lot, so he understood situations better than anyone. He loved to help and listened to any problems anybody had.
"I'm at my brothers house mommy! You know where it is! I'm just across the street at a neighbors!" I said frustratingly, the old lady noticed.
"Your giving me mixed signals because somebody is there?"
"Yes."
"Something bad happened and you need me urgently?"
"Yes."
"Well I'm sorry Rosey, but I'm making babies."
"What? No mommy, I don't want a baby sister!"
He laughed. "I can't just stop in the middle-"
I walked into the kitchen leaving granny in the living room. "I swear if you don't hurry I will bite your damn ears off so you will never have another phone call in your life!"
"Well damn, You at home?"
"Yes."
"Across the street as in same block?"
"No."
"How many blocks away?"
"Three."
"Okay, be outside. I'm on my way."
"Thanks mommy, I love you."
I hung up the phone and gave it back to the lady. I thanked her as I walked out. I sat on a nearby porch and waited for Jordan to drive pass. When he finally did, I flagged the car down for his attention. His music was loud, J. Cole has been his favorite rapper for awhile. That's all you ever heard when you entered his car, was J. Cole, Jay-Z, Tupac, Kendrick Lamar, The Weeknd, or Logic.
He didn't like the newest rappers nowadays. I knew that for sure when he played Tupac songs from the early 90's. Music from about thirty years ago, but Jordan taught me that good music never dies out. Good music always lives in our mind.
Jordan always argued with a friend of ours named Rush about Tupac, he wasn't the biggest Tupac fan. He thought Tupac could had lived a longer and better life than the one he chose. He thought Tupac didn't have to choose that route. He looked at Tupac as someone with so much knowledge, but ruined it by hanging with thugs. He looked at Tupac as a realist, not a thug.
Rush looked at Tupac as many things. He was her role model. She loved Pac, more than any other rapper. Many people did, she figured he died as legend. Jordan figured he could had lived longer as a legend, and died a hero icon like Maya Angelou. Rush knew a lot of Angelou as well, she was lowkey with her brains. Everyone loved that about her.
"Hey Jordiee." I said with a smile as I got into the passenger seat.
"What's up Rosey, what happened?" He replied.
"Sincere was jumped by Marion's people." I explained. "Revenge is all I'm thinking about."
Jordan shook his head slowly. "Baby girl you can't be seeking revenge like that. I've seen that shit, I'm not saying you gone end up like them or none. I'm saying that revenge doesn't lead to any success at all, usually ends to an ending of your life. Not only that, if you do manage to succeed Rosey.."
He paused for a moment. Then stopped the car, turning the music off. I prepared myself for a lecture, which I wasn't going to listen to. I was already to determined, I was already committed to taking their lives. I wasn't going to let down on it now, I was far too immature. I was far too prideful, I was far too ambitious.
"If you succeed. It'll only end in darkness as well. You'll feel empty inside. You'll see it in you dreams and your scream about it. Your never going to let go of mistakes you make baby girl. So don't make them knowing they can destroy you in the future."
"I love you, Uncle Jordiee." That's all I could reply with. I wanted to explain how much anger I had inside. I wanted to explain how much I needed this vengeance. But I didn't have to. He could tell by just looking into my eyes that I was already set out to do what I painted out in my head. "I can't let this go on any longer."
He sighed softly and nodded. He turned the car back on and changed the song being played. We drove in silence, this was the car ride that I noticed whatever song Jordan played was for a reason. He played an old J. Cole song that came out back in 2014. I think he knew the affect this song would have on me.
I sat back and allowed Jermaine Cole's words roam through my head. By the end of the song, I was into his vibe. I was deep into his vibe, every word I replayed in my head.
"Don't just sit back, bitch get on it. Time fly by way too quick don't it. Reflection brings regrets don't it. Rejection makes you defensive, so you protect your pride with your reflexes. But life is a game with no reset on it."
That entire verse stayed attached to my head. I fell asleep in the car ride as Jordan drove slowly. Jermaine's ending to "Hello" finally cracked me, I was emotionally damaged. I cried. I cried hard.
"It ain't no lookin' back, no, no, no, no.
It ain't no lookin' back, no, no, no, no.
It ain't no lookin' back, no, no, no, no."