Title: Chōchō's Unexpected Babysitting Adventure (Part 5)
---
Shikamaru had barely taken two steps when Mya, still dangling from his grip like a disgruntled kitten, dropped another bombshell.
"But I am pregnant at 5 years old," she said matter-of-factly. "Won't I give birth to their young master and become his mother? It's not like he's really dead."
The restaurant, which had just begun to recover, plunged back into stunned silence.
Shikamaru's grip slackened. Mya plopped onto the floor with a soft thud.
Chōchō made a noise like a deflating balloon. "WHAT."
Sarada's Sharingan activated involuntarily. "That's not how ANY OF THIS WORKS."
Inojin, pale as a sheet, whispered, "I need an adult."
A nearby civilian customer fainted—again. The chef, who had been cautiously peeking out from the kitchen, slowly closed the door and locked it.
Shikamaru, the smartest man in the village, looked like he was seriously considering early retirement. "Mya… that's not… no. Just no."
Mya crossed her arms. "But their clan elder said so! He yelled, 'You've consumed our future! Now you must bear it!' and then did a weird hand sign at me. I think it was a jutsu."
Sarada's eye twitched. "That's not a thing. That's not—you can't just gesture someone pregnant!"
Mya blinked. "Then why do I have a food baby?" She patted her round stomach proudly.
Chōchō wheezed. "THAT'S JUST YOUR LUNCH, YOU LITTLE MONSTER!"
Inojin, now lying face-down on the table, mumbled, "I'm too young for this."
Shikamaru took a deep, deep breath. "Mya. You are not pregnant. You just ate a very important egg. That's it."
Mya pouted. "That's boring."
Shikamaru exhaled through his nose. "Troublesome." He scooped her back up. "We're leaving. Now."
As he carried her out, Mya waved cheerfully at the traumatized restaurant patrons. "Bye-bye! Hope you enjoyed the show!"
The second the door closed behind them, the entire restaurant erupted into panicked chatter.
Chōchō slumped in her seat, staring blankly at the ceiling. "I'm never having kids."
Sarada, still in shock, muttered, "I need to rewrite the Uchiha Clan's risk assessment forms."
Inojin didn't move from his face-down position. "I'm moving to the Land of Waves."