Title: "Mya's House Arrest Anthem"
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[Scene: The Akimichi Compound – Interior. After being banned from public outings following the "Egg Incident," Mya has resorted to extreme measures to combat boredom.]
Mya sat cross-legged in the middle of the living room, surrounded by an elaborate drum set—a "gift" from her uncle (who was absolutely not trying to annoy her parents as revenge for losing a bet). Her tiny hands gripped the drumsticks with terrifying focus.
"Alright," she muttered to herself. "Time to drop the hottest five-year-old diss track Konoha's ever heard."
And then—
BADDA-BOOM! CRASH! TSS-TSS-TSS!
The walls shook. The floor trembled. Somewhere in the distance, a neighbor's dog started howling.
Mya's voice, loud and off-key but full of passion, belted out:
🎵 "HEY-OH, HERE COMES THE DANGER UP IN THIS CLUB—"
Her mother, who had been peacefully drinking tea in the next room, inhaled her cup.
🎵 "WHEN WE GET STARTED, AND WE AIN'T GON' STOP—"
Outside, passing shinobi froze. A Chunin on patrol clutched his chest. "Is… is that a war chant?!"
🎵 "WE GON' TURN IT OUT 'TIL IT GETS TOO HOT—"
Next door, Choji Akimichi paused mid-snack. "...That's my niece." His wife, Karui, sighed. "That's your side of the family."
🎵 "EVERYBODY SING, HEY-OH!"
Mya headbanged so hard her pigtails whipped her in the face.
Her mother burst into the room, eyes wild. "MYA! WHAT ARE YOU—?!"
Mya didn't stop. She couldn't stop. The drums had possessed her.
🎵 "I AM NOT AFRAID OF THE STORM THAT COMES MY WAY—"
Her mother's eye twitched. "I am."
🎵 "WHEN IT HITS, IT SHAKES ME TO THE CORE—"
The walls literally shook. A picture frame fell.
🎵 "AND MAKES ME STRONGER THAN BEFORE!"
Mya stood on the drum stool, one foot on the snare, arms raised like a rock god.
Her mother, now numb, turned to the heavens. "Why."
Outside, a crowd had gathered. Some were horrified. Some were recording. One Jounin nodded in approval. "Kid's got rhythm."
Mya hit the final note with a CRASH so powerful it knocked over a potted plant.
Silence.
Panting, she wiped imaginary sweat from her brow. "Encore?"
Her mother slowly turned toward the drum set.
"NO."
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[Post-Credits Scene]
Later that night…
Shikamaru, at his desk, received a mission scroll labeled "URGENT: NOISE COMPLAINT."
He opened it.
"Mya Akimichi – Unauthorized Concert. Threat Level: S-Rank."
He closed it.
"…I'm not paid enough for this."