Title: "Mya vs. Senju Survival Instincts"
[Scene: Senju Compound - Morning After Tsunade's Bender]
The morning sun filtered through the half-open shoji doors as Nawaki Senju, the hopeful-but-cursed grandson of the First Hokage, sat eating breakfast. Suddenly, the front door slid open with a thud.
Mya: (standing in the doorway, hands on hips) "So. Why don't you just stay home and focus on living a normal life?"
Nawaki: (chokes on his rice) "Wha—who are—HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE?!"
Mya: (ignoring him, stepping inside) "And focus on your clan. You look like someone with the highest head bounty."
Nawaki: (face paling) "I—that's not—"
Mya: (dropping the bomb) "Because you're the First Hokage's grandchild. Hell, you might even be poisoned."
Silence.
Then—
CRASH.
A bottle of sake rolled across the floor as Tsunade, who had been passed out in the corner, shot upright, her bloodshot eyes locking onto Mya.
Tsunade's Reactions (Line by Line):
1. "Stay home?" → Her eye twitches. A vein bulges.
2. "Highest head bounty?" → Her fingers crack the floorboards as she grips them.
3. "First Hokage's grandchild?" → Her face darkens like a storm cloud.
4. "Poisoned?!" → She stands up so fast the wall cracks behind her.
Nawaki's Reactions (Line by Line):
1. "Stay home?" → Opens mouth to argue, then hesitates.
2. "Head bounty?" → Instinctively touches his neck.
3. "First Hokage's grandchild?" → Flinches like he's been struck.
4. "Poisoned?!" → Drops his chopsticks like they're venomous snakes.
[The Aftermath:]
Tsunade: (looming over Mya, voice dangerously calm) "Who. Are. You."
Mya: (unfazed) "Mya. Uchiha-adjacent. Also, your breath smells like a brewery."
Nawaki: (whisper-screaming) "SIS, SHE'S FIVE—"
Tsunade: (ignoring him, staring at Mya like she's seeing a ghost) "...You're right."
Nawaki: "WAIT, WHAT?!"
Tsunade: (grabbing Nawaki by the collar) "You're not going on that mission tomorrow. Or any mission."
Nawaki: (flailing) "BUT I WANT TO BE HOKAGE—"
Mya: (deadpan) "Dead people can't be Hokage."
Tsunade: (freezes. A shadow passes over her face.) "...Yeah. They can't."
[Later, Outside:]
Nawaki: (grumbling) "I can't believe I got grounded because of a kindergartener."
Mya: (patting his arm) "Look on the bright side! Now you won't die!"
Nawaki: (pause) "...That is a bright side."
Tsunade: (watching them, expression unreadable) "Kid… you're scary smart."
Mya: (smiling sweetly) "Thanks! Wanna get breakfast? I know a place that doesn't serve poison."
Tsunade: (bursts out laughing) "Damn. I like you."
THE END.
(Mya's newest achievement: Accidentally saving Nawaki's life by being too observant.) 😂🔥