Title: "Mya's Unsolicited Retirement Planning Advice"
[Scene: Hokage's Office - Just Mya and the Third Hokage]
The setting sun cast long shadows across the Hokage's desk as Hiruzen Sarutobi stared at the tiny philosopher sitting across from him. Mya swung her legs absently, a half-eaten dango stick in one hand, her face the picture of innocent wisdom.
Mya: (matter-of-factly) "They really need to find successors fast for themselves."
Hiruzen: (eyebrow twitching, but amused) "Oh? And why is that?"
Mya: (pointing her dango at him like a lecturing elder) "So they can raise them well and transfer their knowledge."
Hiruzen: (chuckling, stroking his beard) "I suppose that's… a fair point."
Mya: (nodding sagely) "And build a parent relationship."
Hiruzen: (pause. His smile falters slightly, a flicker of something—regret?—crossing his face.) "...Parent relationship?"
Mya: (oblivious, taking a bite of dango) "Mhm. So when they get too old, they can enjoy the filial pity of their successor."
Hiruzen: (chokes on air) "F-Filial pity?!"
Mya: (shrugging) "That's what my uncle says people do at his age."
[Hiruzen's Internal Monologue:]
· "This child is somehow more blunt than Tsunade."
· "…Do I want my successor's pity?!"
· "…Why does this make sense?!"
[Outward Reaction:]
· First, he laughs—a deep, genuine belly laugh that shakes his shoulders.
· Then, he sighs, rubbing his temples like a man who just realized he's been out-logic'd by a kindergartener.
· Finally, he leans forward, resting his chin on his hands, studying her with a mix of awe and resignation.
Hiruzen: (softly, almost to himself) "You're right, Mya-chan. Perhaps we have been… shortsighted."
Mya: (grinning, dango stick now a pointer again) "So you'll tell Grandpa Bandages to adopt a kid?"
Hiruzen: (snorts) "I'll try." (beat) "…He might cry."
Mya: (deadpan) "Old people cry a lot. My uncle does when he drinks too much sake."
Hiruzen: (wheezing) "I— (gives up) You're absolutely Mikoto's daughter now."
[Later That Night:]
Hiruzen: (staring at the Hokage Monument, lost in thought) "…Filial pity, huh?" (suddenly grins) "Well, at least I have Asuma for that."
Asuma: (miles away, sneezing violently) "Why do I feel insulted?!"
THE END.
(Mya's newest achievement: Giving the Third Hokage a mid-life crisis in under five minutes.) 😂👏