"Well… shit. Where the hell am I?"
The words leave my mouth before I can even process what I'm looking at.
It's an abandoned church — or something close to it. Stone walls loom around me like the ribcage of a long-dead giant, cracked and crumbling in too many places to count. Dust hangs in the air, swirling lazily in the dim light that struggles to creep through the busted stained glass windows.
Somewhere above, the wind moans through gaps in the structure, making the whole place feel like it's breathing.
And in the far corner, slumped against the wall like she'd just given up on life mid-sentence, is a dead body. Female. Pale skin gone gray, robes dirtied and torn, one hand still curled as if holding something precious — though there's nothing there now.
Yeah… ignoring that for now.
My feet crunch against debris as I push the heavy wooden doors open. The hinges groan like they haven't been moved in centuries. The first breath of outside air hits me with the scent of salt and sea — sharp and briny.
I squint into the light.
There's a castle out there. Way off in the distance, rising from a cliff like it's trying to intimidate the horizon itself. Towers, battlements, jagged walls that look like they were carved more than built. It's a whole medieval postcard, except my brain's not in the mood for sightseeing.
My eyes skim the cliff edges, the rickety rope bridge spanning the gap, and the violent ocean crashing far, far below.
"Oh crap… how is this place even still standing?" I mutter. "One good sneeze and this whole place's going in the water."
There's no clear path forward. The bridge is there, but it looks like the type of thing that kills you even if it doesn't break — just out of pure spite. The drop beneath it is the kind where you don't even scream all the way down. You just… vanish into the mist.
I back into the church, taking a deep breath to steady my nerves. The smell of mold is thicker in here. The air feels heavy, like the building's holding its breath.
Alright. Fine. If I'm going to make sense of this, I might as well deal with the one thing I've been pretending not to see.
I force myself toward the dead body.
She's small — shorter than me by a head, frame frail, robes hanging loose. Her hair, once probably blonde, is matted with blood that's long since dried to a rusty brown. Her eyes are half-lidded, staring into nothing.
"If this isn't a dream," I murmur, "then you're supposed to be a Finger Maiden."
The words feel strange in my mouth. My skin prickles. My stomach knots.
Which means—
I swallow hard.
"I'm in Elden Ring."
My gaze drifts downward, and that's when I notice the strange lettering scrawled on the floor in faint, glowing script. It's not any language I've seen before, but somehow I can read it clear as day:
"Though the path be broken and uncertain, claim your place as Elden Lord!"
"…Of all the games I've played," I sigh, "it had to be this one."
See, I'm the kind of gamer who likes a challenge sometimes. Other times? I'm perfectly happy to set things to 'Easy' and just vibe. But every so often, I get that itch to suffer — to see if I can beat something the internet calls 'impossible.'
Apparently, the universe decided to crank the difficulty up to 'isekaied into a Soulsborne game' and see how I like it.
Lucky me.
I sink to the dusty floor, leaning my back against a cold wall and rubbing my temples. "Think, man. Think."
I can't stay here forever. The place looks one bad earthquake away from becoming a pile of rocks at the bottom of the ocean.
I shut my eyes. Focus. Maybe I'll wake up in my bed and laugh about the whole thing.
…Nope. Still here.
But as I concentrate, something strange happens. My mind doesn't just wander — it shifts. Like I'm not just thinking anymore, but reaching for something. At first it's blurry, like staring through frosted glass.
But then… the image sharpens.
My eyes snap open.
A game menu.
A full, crystal-clear game menu… floating in my vision like a HUD.
"…This looks promising."
It's exactly like Elden Ring's menu — tabs for equipment, inventory, stats, the works. And when I focus on an item, the details pop up instantly, just like the game.
Heart pounding. "No way…"
For the next hour — maybe two — I dig through everything. And it's not just the vanilla game. Oh no. My mods are here.
All of them.
Armor sets that have no business existing in this universe — sci-fi exosuits, anime cosplay, even the weird joke armors I installed once just to mess with friends. Weapons? Check. Not just swords and spears, but guns. Shotguns. Sniper rifles. Hell, I've got a BFG from Doom in here.
And food. Actual food. Perfectly rendered 3D models I can just… pull out of nowhere. I manifest a slice of pizza, steaming hot, cheese stretching as I bite it. It tastes real. My stomach actually stops growling.
The possibilities hit me all at once.
Then I tab over to my stats.
Every single number is maxed. Health, stamina, FP — all 9,999. Strength, dexterity, intelligence, faith, arcane — 9,999 across the board.
I stare at those stat numbers for a long moment.
Then I do the most logical thing anyone in my situation would do.
I pick up a rock.
It's about the size of a grapefruit, jagged edges, heavy in the hand. I squeeze. My fingers sink into the stone like it's wet clay, cracks spiderwebbing out from where my grip tightens. With a sharp crunch, it disintegrates into dust, slipping through my fingers and drifting to the floor.
"…Okay," I say slowly. "That's new."
Curious, I scroll through my inventory and summon a basic iron dagger into my hand. It's exactly how it looks in-game — plain hilt, slightly rusted blade.
I set the point against my palm and press lightly. Nothing. I push harder. Still nothing.
"Alright… let's see how far this goes."
I apply real pressure — enough to snap wood in half. The dagger doesn't pierce my skin. Instead, the blade itself groans under the strain. With one last push, it snaps clean in half, the broken tip clattering to the dusty floor.
I blink at the jagged hunk of metal in my hand. "Well… that's a little reassuring."
I switch the dagger out for a kite shield from my inventory. It's polished enough that it catches the light spilling through the window, so I tilt it to use as a mirror.
Same black hair. Same black eyes. Same normal face staring back at me. Still wearing my stupid pajama pants and t-shirt like I just rolled out of bed.
"Yup. Still me. That's a relief."
I scroll again, cycling through weapons just because I can. A longsword. A revolver. A glowing plasma blade that definitely wasn't in the base game. The Buster Sword from Final Fantasy VII — it's as ridiculous as it sounds, taller than I am, but light as a feather thanks to my stats. I give it a few lazy swings, air whistling around the edge.
The idea of starting my Elden Ring run with a gun in one hand and a giant anime sword in the other makes me grin.
But before I get carried away, I decide to try something… bigger.
I clear a patch of floor in front of me and focus. I remember the command I used in my old Solo Leveling mod.
I extend my hand toward the empty space.
"Arise."
The air chills instantly. Shadows pool at my feet and crawl outward, stretching like ink spilled on the floor. The light from the windows dims. A low rumble vibrates in my chest — not sound, but something deeper, like the world itself is reacting.
Then, a figure begins to rise from the darkness.
Black armor glints in the dim light, plated and spiked in all the right places. The figure is tall — a head taller than me — His helmet conceals his face entirely, two glowing eyes burning faintly red beneath the visor.
He kneels on one knee, head bowed.
I open my mouth to say something — and freeze when I hear more movement.
Clank.
Clank.
Clank.
One by one, more armored figures rise from the spreading shadow. Two. Five. Seven. Ten.
All kneeling. All facing me.
"…Oops." I blink. "Only meant to summon one. Guess I need practice."
The first knight lifts his head slightly, as if awaiting orders. The rest remain frozen in perfect silence, their armor gleaming faintly in the dusty light.
It's an intimidating sight — and I'm the one who summoned them.
I glance around the room and… yeah, the church suddenly feels way too small for this many walking tanks.
Still, it's comforting in a way. One wrong step and I've got my own private army ready to wreck anything dumb enough to look at me funny.
"Alright… stand down for now," I say, just to test it.
They dissolve into shadow instantly, fading back into the floor until only the first knight remains, kneeling before me like some kind of bodyguard.
Now that I think about it… I should probably give him a name. Something fitting. But I'll save that for later.
Right now, I've got one last thing to try.
The bridge outside still looks like a deathtrap, but it's the only way forward. If I'm going to move on, I'll need to test it.
I gesture to my knight. "You first."
He rises smoothly, sword in hand, and strides toward the door without hesitation. The wooden planks of the bridge groan under his weight, swaying slightly in the wind — but they hold.
I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.
I stand at the doorway, staring across the swaying rope bridge at the far side of the cliff.
"I don't like height."
The ocean wind slaps my face, carrying the tang of salt and the faint roar of waves smashing against jagged rocks below.
The knight I sent ahead reaches the far side without incident. He turns back toward me, giving the faintest nod.
Alright. Guess it's my turn.
I swap my ridiculous Buster Sword for something less likely to take out the entire bridge — a sleek black longsword with faint blue runes glowing along its edge. I pair it with my pistol in the other hand, because why not? If I'm going to cross a death bridge in a FromSoftware game."
The boards groan under my steps, swaying with every gust. My heart should be pounding, but with my stats maxed, there's no real sense of danger. Still, I grip the ropes on either side — partly for balance, partly because falling from this height is something I don't feel like testing, even with my no-fall-damage mod.
I really hate height.
When I reach the other side, my knight falls into step beside me. The pathway here is narrow, flanked by half-toppled stone walls and broken columns, all leading toward an archway.
It's quiet. Too quiet.
FromSoftware games have a certain… rhythm. You learn to read the silence. Sometimes it's the "you're safe" kind of quiet. Sometimes it's the "oh, you're about to get jumped" kind of quiet. And sometimes… it's the "something's about to drop from the ceiling and ruin your whole day" kind of quiet.
This? Definitely the last one.
I walk into the courtyard.
There's a massive stone statue in the center, its carved arms stretched out in a way that feels just a little too welcoming. Shards of broken weapons and armor litter the ground — trophies from whatever kills here.
I stop. My knight stops. We both just… stand there.
Then I hear it.
A sound like tearing flesh and snapping bones, muffled but getting closer.
Before I can even move, something slams down from behind the statue.
It's… a mess.
Multiple arms — far too many — jut out at odd angles from a torso that looks like it was stitched together from several different corpses. The head is human-shaped, but wrong, with too many eyes, too much teeth. Its flesh glistens in the dim light, wet and twitching like it's still deciding what shape it wants to be.
The Grafted Scion.
In the game, this thing is supposed to be your "welcome to Elden Ring" beatdown. It's overpowered, you're underpowered, and the devs expect you to die so they can toss you into the real tutorial.
But… my knight is already moving.
Before the Scion can even screech, my knight closes the distance in two strides. His greatsword arcs upward in a single, precise swing — SHHK-THUNK.
The blade punches straight through the Scion's skull, exiting cleanly out the other side. There's a wet, final sound. The monster twitches once, then collapses to the ground in a heap of limbs.
Silence.
I just… stand there.
"…Uh. Good job?"
I start clapping.
The knight doesn't move, still holding his weapon in a ready stance. But the other summoned knights — the ones I'd left in reserve back at the church — suddenly materialize around me, kneeling… and also clapping. The sound is absurd in the echoing courtyard — a dozen armored gauntlets politely applauding the fastest "boss fight" in history.
The knight who landed the killing blow shifts slightly, like he's embarrassed.
"Well… that was anticlimactic," I mutter. "But hey — safe is safe."
I glance at the corpse. Its strange, misshapen sword lies on the ground nearby, still slick with blackened blood. No one's around to stop me, so I pick it up and slot it into my inventory.
I glance over the cliffside. Obviously not too close I don't want to fall I saw nothing but mist and ocean down there. No way forward.
So, I do the reasonable thing: I turn to my knight.
"Alright. Training time."
We move back into the courtyard, giving ourselves space. I switch to the Scion's sword — heavier than it looks, blade serrated and uneven, but perfectly balanced in my hands thanks to my absurd stats.
"Help me train," I tell him.
He bows slightly, then raises his weapon.
We clash, steel ringing against steel, though "clash" might be overstating it — he's clearly holding back, adjusting every swing so I can test my movements. I try copying a few sword stances from games and anime I remember. A couple look decent. A couple… not so much.
I can almost feel him judging me from behind that helmet.
"Yeah, yeah, I know," I huff, lowering the blade. "I'll get better."
One day in this place to get my bearings, I decide. Then I'll move on to the Lands Between proper.
End of chapter.
"Hello everyone, I hope you enjoy reading this chapter. I had a lot of days off, but unfortunately I got sick. Still, I managed to write a few chapters ahead as quickly as I could. There might be some mistakes here and there, but I'll try to keep the pace fast since most of you reading are already fans of the game. Otherwise, it would take me forever to finish this story. Happy reading!"
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