The weather is nice.
Blue skies that give off a refreshing feeling.
The white clouds that can make you lost in a game of guessing their shapes.
It has been a while since we've had such nice weather.
The weather had stopped being nice in the last few years.
It's been one disaster after another when it comes to the weather.
The peaceful life that we had suddenly just ended one day.
So the weather being this calm is something to be appreciated.
So Mr. Yakuza droning on for first period would have to excuse me for not paying attention.
Not that he cares about someone like me anyway.
In fact, he seemed pretty distraught about the fact that I was placed in his class.
So he resigned himself to ignoring my existence completely.
It's so bad that he doesn't even care that my deskmate has been putting his head down since the beginning of class.
Hmm… is he sick?
It's not in his usual style to be doing this.
Should I check?
I almost slapped myself at that thought.
How dare I try to touch another student.
Maybe there is something in the air.
Though most students are asleep right now, so I don't have too much to worry about.
But Mr. Yakuza really is relentless.
He didn't let the fact that practically no one was listening to him get to his head.
Just droned on and on.
I like to think that we have that feature in common.
A stubbornness for no reason.
I mean, he's obviously mistreated by the other teachers.
And I'm obviously mistreated by human beings.
But yet here we are.
He's teaching in a class full of elitist young jerks.
And I'm still alive.
Hah, I don't have the faintest clue or idea as to why this fact is.
Why am I seated in this posh chair in this equally posh classroom?
Why do I feel the air enter my lungs?
Why does my heart still beat life into my body?
Why do I exist?
Why can't it all just end?
Why, why, why.
Hehe.
Everything should just end.
But the reason is more disgraceful than my absurd determination to exist.
And an encounter that completely sums it up.
It started when I woke up this morning.
As I had done every morning.
My roommates were reasonably not there.
It's 100% not because they were a bunch of studious adults who were concerned about their future.
No, their future was secure because of the family they grew up in.
It was because I was their roommate.
They took one look at me and petitioned to change rooms.
How do they do that?
It's like they could smell the difference in status between us.
Though it's not hard to guess once you've seen me at least once.
Besides, I don't even qualify to have something called a "status."
Hah, life sucks. Should I just end it?
I went through the routine of preparing for class.
Honestly, having an empty dorm to myself was the highlight of my entire life.
As long as I didn't touch the other guys' stuff, then I had more freedom in life than I've ever had outside that room.
Of course, all good things must come to an end, and I had to leave my room.
I locked the door with a turn of the key once.
There was no need to turn it a second time just to ensure it was properly locked.
Who would want to steal anything of mine?
Who would even want to touch something that belonged to me?
The answer is no one in this school would do that.
Even if it was just to torment me; they would rather wear gloves than use their bare hands.
Or just spill some rotten milk on my uniform.
At least they don't tear it up. There is nothing that isn't washable as long as you have the right detergent for it.
Ah, I'm going off track.
How pathetic of me to try and find something good out of this.
I should stop hoping and trying to find a silver lining.
There's only going to be a lot of pain in my life.
This is really a life meant to end.
Ah, I've gone off track again.
Stupid, stupid.
You can't seem to do anything right.
In fact, you couldn't even let yourself be born right.
Just like everyone else has muttered about as you walk by.
You really are stupid.
You should just end it all.
What was the point of reminiscing again?
I tapped my finger on my desk lightly, trying to remember why I started thinking.
I thought I was admiring the weather, so how did I end up in a monologue?
Grr!
Hmm, what was that?
Was that from beside me?
I heard it again coming from my deskmate.
Did he… just growl at me?
And what is that smell?
Should I wake him up?
He sounds like he's having a nightmare.
No, I can't touch him.
I'm too scared.
I'm reminded of what happened this morning.
To meet two dangerous situations in one day…
I must be cursed with bad luck.
So what happened this morning was that someone bumped into me as I was walking to drop off my dorm key.
As always, I was sticking to the shadows, minding my own business.
When I got distracted by another student walking weird.
He soon collapsed and was whisked off to the clinic, probably.
Anyway, he was one of the few people who were bothered enough to bully me.
So I paid special attention to him.
Is my torture from him coming to an end?
Unfortunately, I wasn't done observing his weird condition when I was knocked down.
The fall was harsh, and I let out a groan.
I landed on one of my bruises, so I let out a sound against my better judgment.
"Watch where you're going." The voice sounded angry and disgusted.
Oh no, he's angry.
I didn't even think about the fact that he was the one who bumped into me.
It was something that could have been avoided had I paid just the slightest bit more attention.
And now his hand is stretched out to my head.
I felt danger.
As someone who has been through a lot of pain, I've developed a sense for it.
And my alarm bells were ringing.
Just like right now.
My deskmate and the random guy who bumped into me made me feel a sense of danger.
So I had two options.
Fight it out as someone in the right.
That's impossible.
First of all, my skinny ass won't last a light pat from him.
Though he isn't muscular either; practically an average young adult.
What makes the difference is that he eats well.
Or at least the normal amount of food.
While I just eat the meager amount I have available.
Which is less than little.
Flight.
Hah, that would just result in a severe beating at a discreet location later with all his friends.
So the answer was to beg like I have no human dignity.
No, like I wasn't human in the first place.
"I… I'm sorry," I said on my knees with my head facing the ground.
Please don't do anything.
Please don't do anything.
Please let this situation end here.
Those thoughts kept going through my head.
"You…" he started again.
Slam!
I slammed my head on the cool cement floor.
"I'm sorry, I won't dare to do it again," I said in a loud whisper.
Hmm, was that last part always there?
But it worked anyway, because his hand finally went back to his side.
"Forget it, I've got somewhere to be," he snorted and hurried away.
I stayed in that position until I was sure his footsteps were gone.
I sighed in relief after lifting up my head.
Thankfully, he seemed to be in a hurry.
Maybe he was going to visit the collapsed bully I just saw.
I think I remember seeing them together a few times.
Well, it's not any of my business.
And it did help me escape the potential beating.
But it's best to hurry to class before he remembers how much he despises me.
And luckily there were no staff present, or I would have been scolded after he left for causing trouble.
They would go on and on about how lucky an orphan street boy was to even step foot in here.
Though I completely disagree.
I think it's rather unlucky that I'm alive in the first place.
I mean, out of all the people who had survived the horrible natural disasters that occurred, I just happened to be one of them.
This isn't a movie where good things happen to unfortunate people once they enter an elitist school.
The students are worse, and the teachers are greedy.
So I'm on my own.
I picked myself up and hurried to class, paying more attention this time.
I noticed that the school was more lively than usual as people kept collapsing repeatedly.
I've counted like ten students who have passed out.
And these are just from the few people who actually go early for class.
The real majority haven't left their dorms yet.
Someone even collapsed in front of me, but I swiftly ignored touching the person.
I ended up slipping on the water leaking out of the girls' bathroom, though.
Luckily, I didn't fall down and hurried away before anyone noticed.
And made fun of me, which could attract unwanted attention.
I made it to class with a plump boy ahead of me.
He must be in another classroom.
I wonder if he noticed something was up too.
I sat in my seat.
My deskmate came not too long after me.
He was walking just like the collapsed bully.
He staggered to his seat, breathing heavily.
We almost made eye contact, but I hurriedly looked away.
Not long after that, the classroom started to fill up.
They seemed to have a new topic of discussion, and from the little I could eavesdrop on, it was about the collapsing students.
Mr. Yakuza came and made everyone quiet.
Soon the classroom had a lot of people sleeping.
Hmm, their position seems wrong.
Wait, are they actually sleeping, or are they passed out?
Well, it's none of my business.
What I should be concerned about is the answer to my question.
Why on earth am I so stubborn?
It's because…
Huh, something hit my desk.
Ahhh—
I screamed as pain erupted from my neck.
But I was soon silenced by blood filling up my throat.
There was someone biting me.
Is that why my deskmate hit my desk?
He stood up to jump me.
The light is fading.
Hehe.
Haha.
Hehe.
Is this…
No… there's no doubt.
It's finally… hehe.
Finally, it's all ending.
Hehe.
Hehe.
Hehe.
Hahaha.
...…
The weather is nice.
I thought.