The weather is nice.
Am I in heaven?
No, this is the classroom, so there's no way this is heaven.
Then was that a dream?
I don't think I would be able to have such a vivid dream.
Then did I possibly go back in time?
If that's true, then does that mean I might have to face that monster again?
I shivered at the thought.
The monster felt terrifying the first time I saw it, but it became even scarier once I died.
There's no time to waste.
I should examine my deskmate first to see if he's going to change into a monster.
I turned to see that his head was down.
It looked like there wasn't any major change from the last time.
Then should I try to wake him up?
Maybe the process would stop or something.
I hesitated.
This would require me to go past the boundary I had set for myself.
I don't have the courage to stand up to my classmates or even talk to them—
not to talk of my bullies.
Normally, I wouldn't have the courage to do this.
But the fear of the monster and the pain far exceeded my fear of my deskmate.
I would rather be beaten up or insulted than face that monster again.
I observed my deskmate some more, then gathered the courage required to tap him awake.
My heart was beating loudly and my body was tense.
It wasn't only from the fear of the monster appearing, but also partly from interacting with another student.
My hand reached out to the person beside me, and I gave him a light pat.
He didn't stir awake or acknowledge me.
I decided to try again a little bit harder this time.
After all, a coward like me would rather not have to deal with it at all.
And my most pressing concern right now is the monster.
I tapped him with a heavier hand than before.
But he still didn't move.
It seems like it's impossible to wake up those who had collapsed.
Then the only other option is to send him to the clinic.
But how do I do that?
I can't carry him to the clinic, plus the hallway is full of people roaming about.
Then I have no choice but to inform Mr. Yakuza that my deskmate has passed out.
He might not care about me, but he won't be able to ignore a student.
Taking a deep breath, I raised my hand and called his attention.
"Excuse me sir, it seems my deskmate has passed out."
I said it in a hurry because everyone in the classroom was staring at me,
and I didn't want to waste the courage I had built up when I spoke in class for the first time.
Mr. Yakuza paused and stared at me with annoyance before looking over to my deskmate.
"Then take him to the clinic," Mr. Yakuza said before continuing his lesson.
It seemed he wasn't going to care about it any more than sending him off.
It was mainly because my deskmate had the lowest status in class and didn't have any friends here.
He did have a few in the other classrooms though.
Now that I had permission, how should I take him to the clinic?
The answer would have been simply to carry him there, but there were two problems with that.
First of all, I'm too weak to carry another person.
Second of all, it's not a person but a monster in hibernation.
There's no way I can gather the courage to carry him.
Should I ask for help from someone else?
I doubt anyone in this school would help me.
It seems there's no other option but to carry him, hoping that he doesn't wake up.
I was about to tell the reason I'm still alive.
It's because I'm a coward.
I shifted a bit closer to start the process when he suddenly raised his head up.
It was the same black spot, red eyes, and deep growl.
I screamed and fell off my chair.
The monster lunged at me and bit into my neck.
That's how I died the second time.
......
The weather is nice.
"Ahhhh!"
I screamed as soon as there wasn't blood in my throat.
I'm alive.
"Can you stop interrupting my class?" I heard Mr. Yakuza say.
Wait, am I in the classroom? Then does that mean…
I turned my head swiftly to the side, and as expected my deskmate was sitting there with his head down.
I screamed and fell off my chair.
The pain and his bloody mouth were still vivid in my head.
How couldn't it be, when it just happened a second ago?
Then why am I here again?
Did I come back to life?
But if I did, then it wouldn't be at this point but after this.
Then did I go back in time?
Anyway, that doesn't matter right now.
I have to quickly get away from this monster.
"Excuse me sir, may I change seats?" I asked the teacher.
"Sit down in your seat and stop disturbing the lesson."
Mr. Yakuza didn't even bother to acknowledge my question.
"Please sir, it's urgent."
It was really urgent—or I was going to face a monster.
"Is there anyone willing to sit beside you?" Mr. Yakuza sneered.
The class snickered at me.
I had forgotten how much I was hated in this school.
I doubted anyone would be willing to switch with me.
"Then can someone please help my deskmate to the clinic?" I offered instead.
There was no way I was touching this monster again.
"Then carry him yourself," Mr. Yakuza said.
If I do, then he would attack me.
"I'm too weak to do it alone, and he might die before I get him there," my voice pleaded.
Mr. Yakuza squinted at me, debating whether my deskmate was actually that sick.
At the end of the day, he chose a random student to help.
The student glared at me and came to my row to help my deskmate up.
Mr. Yakuza stopped paying attention to us after that and continued with his lesson.
The student who came to help told me to assist, but I refused.
I wasn't going to touch this monster again because I was too scared.
He threatened me, but I still refused.
I'd rather be beaten up than attacked by a monster.
In the end, he called over his friend to help him.
The friend glared at me and tried to make me do it, but I still refused.
They both reluctantly left me alone to carry my deskmate.
Once I saw them get busy, I sighed in relief.
Finally, the monster was going away.
It was sad though that I couldn't use the opportunity to die.
But I'd rather be killed by something less scary.
In my relief, I realized the other voice in my head was still speaking.
Hmm, but I seemed to be forgetting something.
It was the reason as to why I'm still alive, even though I crave death.
It's because I'm a coward.
Suddenly I was attacked once again.
It was my deskmate, who had released himself from those carrying him away and lunged at me.
Once again, I died.
......
The weather is nice.
"Ahhhh!"
I screamed once again, choking and crying.
I was back in the classroom after being attacked.
Is it really time travel? But why at this specific point?
Why this classroom?
I'm scared.
I don't want to be attacked by that monster again.
"Mr. Yakuza, can I go to the bathroom?" I said in panic.
"Sit down and stop disturbing the class," he ignored me once again.
I stumbled to the front, my legs shaking, and got on my knees.
"Please let me go to the bathroom."
I was scared that if I stayed here then I might be attacked again.
"Get out."
I guess he was disgusted by my begging and sent me out.
If it was another teacher and another student, they would have made me beg more while laughing.
I stood up and ran for the door.
The reason as to why I'm still alive.
Finally, I'm going to escape from that monster.
I really am a coward.
A body lunged at me as I opened the classroom door.
I was attacked by another student who had turned into a monster.
I died.
.....
The weather is nice.
I was back in the classroom once again, screaming on my knees on the floor.
This time I vomited bile.
Why was there a monster outside the door?
Too scary.
I have to get out of here.
I have to leave, but there are monsters inside and outside the classroom.
Maybe it's because I left too late.
I'm sure it'll be okay now.
I stumbled up from the floor, not registering the other people in class.
I went straight to the door and tried to step out.
I really am a coward.
I was attacked, and I died.
.....
The weather is nice.
"AHHHHH!"
Why am I still here?
Maybe leaving through the door is the problem.
Then I should try the window.
I stumbled to the classroom window facing the hallway and slid it open.
I really am a coward.
I was attacked by a monster beside the window.
...
The weather is nice.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
No, no, no.
Okay, the window isn't safe either.
Then what if I tried to open both of them?
I really am a coward.
I died.
.....
The weather is nice.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
The hallway is full of monsters.
Then why don't I try the window facing outside the school?
The classroom was on the second floor.
I turned to the window beside me and jumped out.
I really am a coward.
As soon as my feet touched the ground, I was attacked by another monster.
.....
The weather is nice.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
This time I screamed for a lot longer.
Then maybe the problem is that I keep coming back to this point in time.
I should try to control it.
I tried my best to activate it, but nothing worked.
It seems to only activate once I'm dead.
I really am a coward.
I stood up and took a running position before running straight into the wall, making sure my head hit hard.
This amount of pain is nothing, and I'm kind of getting numb to pain.
.....
The weather is nice.
Okay, so the switch is instantaneous.
I really am a coward.
So I should try again.
.....
The weather is nice.
I couldn't feel anything except dying.
It's like I would blink and then come back to the classroom.
I really am a coward.
But I kept trying.
.....
The weather is nice.
Still trying.
I really am a coward.
.....
The weather is nice.
Still trying.
.....
The weather is nice.
It's not working.
....
The weather is nice.
I'm scared.
.....
The weather is nice.
Help me.
.....
The weather is nice.
Someone save me, please.
.....
The weather is nice.
I screamed "let me out" until I died.
....
The weather is nice.
I sat with my head buried in my knees, crying.
I died.
....
The weather is nice.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I just kept on screaming until I was attacked.
.....
The weather is nice.
I tried talking to the voice, but it didn't respond.
....
The weather is nice.
I tried to die for real.
...
The weather is nice.
......
I kept trying different ways to kill myself, but none of them worked.
It just kept on repeating.
.......
If this was in those books with plot power, then he might have kept calm and miraculously solved it.
Or he would have broken free of his fear and miraculously escaped.
Or he would have been a genius that discovered a loophole to escape from.
Or he might have been molded into an ordinary person who would have gone crazy and started killing all the monsters that caused him fear.
But unfortunately, this is real life.
And in real life, he is a coward.
A coward can't kill something he is afraid of.
And a normal person like him won't suddenly develop courage from this experience.
This is beyond traumatizing—it's insanity.
And one can say his cowardice is also a form of insanity.
After all, he could just kill the monsters.
There's really nothing stopping him from trying.
Anyway, at this point the only thing he wants is for it to end.
I can't escape from the monsters.
They are everywhere.
I'm trapped in this infinite hell of terror and despair.
He made a desire that arose from every facet of his being.
Though now broken and plagued with insanity,
it was still able to make an earnest wish filled with intense will and desire.
'If I can't escape, then I wish for it all to come to an end.'
'The monsters that killed me.'
'The classroom that cages me.'
'The world that only brought about despair.'
'My existence itself.'
'I wish that everything would come to an end.'
Sadly, I'm too much of a coward to do anything.
Hehe.
I agree.
Existence itself is meant to come to an end.
So that existence can be born again.
Then why don't you make a deal with me, kid?
There were maniac whispers mixed with the voice.
But somehow, I understood what he meant.