"Oh, is this yours?" Black hair and blue eyes were the features of the voice that had just spoken those words.
"Give it back," I spoke against my better judgment.
Normally, I would have just said nothing and nodded along.
But for the first time, after multiple occasions, I responded.
I didn't mean to respond, but the sight of the hairpin dangling in my face made me panic.
"What did you just say?" she frowned.
"That's mine," I stuttered.
I couldn't back out now because she was already pissed.
Might as well just get on with it—maybe she'd throw it at me or something.
"Onee-san, did you just talk back to me?"
I flinched. She only ever called me "sister" when she was pissed.
The other names she had for me were slave, pushover, weak, monster, ghost.
A very colorful combination.
"No, I… I just want the hairpin," I stuttered.
Why did I do that?
My sister obviously liked the hairpin, so I should give it to her.
After all, something that pretty isn't meant to be worn by a monster like me.
But I just… I can't give it up.
"It's not very pretty, and you have something that's a hundred times better than this."
"Besides, it's worn out and the color is fading, so… so can you please give it back?"
I said it all in a rush, hoping she would give up on it after seeing how ugly it was.
It wasn't false either, because the hairpin wasn't intricate or pretty.
It was just a regular peony flower hairpin with no additional styles or jewels.
The pink was faded, and it looked aged after going through tough times.
Compared to the many jewels I'd seen her change out every day, that hairpin was trash.
But it was my trash.
"Hmm, but you have it though, so it's one of my things. I just want to take what's mine," she said, dangling the hairpin.
"I'll give you something better," I said.
"But there's nothing for you to give because you have nothing. I mean, what's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine," she replied.
"I'll work more jobs at better places and buy you a better one." I was already working multiple jobs, but I was sure I could squeeze in more.
"But I want this hairpin. Won't you give it to me, Onee-san?"
"I thought you wanted Mom and Dad to like you again. You promised us you'd work hard for it. Are you really going to be selfish now and spoil all your hard work?"
"Mom and Dad would be disappointed in you for being so selfish. I'm not sure they'd agree to take you back if I tell them about this."
"I… I…" I couldn't refute her words because she was right.
Mom and Dad would probably despise me more for being selfish about this.
And we had made so much progress after so long, after all that relentless hard work.
They'd looked me in the eyes for a full minute.
Normally, they'd have sent a worker to speak to me, but this time they actually met me face-to-face.
I was so happy to see them.
I couldn't let it all go to waste over selfishness.
But I also didn't want to lose the hairpin.
It was a gift from my grandmother before she died.
Those days with my parents at her house had been nice.
It was peaceful before my life became this.
"So, are you going to give it to me or not? After all, I'm not forcing you—it's always been your choice," she said, stretching out her hand for me to take the hairpin.
Choice… really?
Honestly, it never felt like I had a choice from the beginning.
It was either give it up, or don't.
And if I didn't, then my parents would be disappointed. They would hate me more.
They already despised me for my eyes, my hair, and my skin.
But adding selfishness on top? That would be too much for them to tolerate.
What if they completely abandoned me? What if I never saw them again?
I should just let it go, like always.
It's just a hairpin with a little sentimental value.
Becoming selfish because of it would be uncalled for.
Yeah. Everything I have belongs to my sister.
I'm just a shadow with a scary face and body.
I don't deserve to wear something that was once pretty—it might break from my ugly face.
I told myself that, but my heart still hurt from having to give it away.
I couldn't let that stop me though.
I'd felt this kind of hurt many times before, especially after that day.
The day I found out about my disease.
The day I became a shadow for my younger sister.
"You can have it," I managed to say.
"Really?" she said excitedly.
"Yes." I gave her a stiff smile.
"Well, of course I could have it, silly. I was just joking about asking you—it's not like it wasn't mine anyway. After all, everything you own is mine," she said sarcastically.
The hairpin was now tucked into the pocket of her uniform.
My eyes never left it the entire time. Only once it was firmly in her pocket did I look away.
"But there's something else though. After all, you did refuse me once. If you let a mutt get too comfortable, then it'll bite the owner. What do you think, Onee-san?" she asked, smiling at me.
Ah. I knew that face. It was the one she always made before I felt pain.
"Huh? Aren't you going to answer me, Onee-san?" she pressed.
"I agree." How could I not agree?
How dare I not agree?
"As expected of my smart Onee-san. Now, what should I educate you with?" Her eyes wandered around the girls' bathroom.
"Bring that bucket of mop water in front of you," she commanded, pointing behind me.
I dragged it back and stood nervously.
I hoped she wouldn't try to drown me in it.
I still had first period to go to, and the teacher said that day's material would be on the test.
I had to note it down and study later during my job.
I didn't have friends to ask for their notes, so I'd be stuck reading the whole textbook as a backup plan.
And my part-time job at the restaurant was more stressful than the others.
If I didn't study, I wouldn't be able to take my sister's test with the assurance of getting an A.
She needed straight A's or she'd lose her position as class rep.
"Pour it on yourself," she said.
Hah. The worst situation. I hadn't brought a backup uniform today because all of them were being washed.
This kind of situation with my sister happened a lot.
"Well, I'm waiting, Onee-san." Her smile grew sweeter, which meant she was getting more annoyed.
It was better to soothe her first, then find a solution.
So I swiftly poured the whole bucket over my head.
There had been a lot of dirty water in it. My body was drenched from head to toe.
The water smelled disgusting—bleach and filth mixed together.
"Good job, mutt," my sister clapped happily.
"But now the floor is disgusting. Next time, you should probably drink it." She looked down, disgusted, at her expensive shoes, now coated in dirty water.
The restroom floor was flooded, some spilling out the door.
In fact, I thought I heard someone slip.
"I'm sorry." I remembered those shoes had been a gift from our parents after she became class rep.
Though she got the position because of the exam scores I wrote.
But that was how it was meant to be. I was meant to give it to my sister.
The only reason I was still allowed in the family was because of what I gave back.
And I loved my parents.
As a filial child, I was meant to work hard for their love.
I was meant to work hard and give everything to my sister so she could shine.
Then I'd really be their daughter. Then I'd really be her sister.
But I kept making mistakes by not working hard enough.
Passing out from overwork and nosebleeds? Just an excuse for incompetence.
Not making enough money for her extra allowance? Just laziness.
"Well, as long as you understand your position," my sister replied.
"Yeah… I'm meant to be your shadow and live for your happiness," I repeated sincerely.
It was the motto I lived by.
"Exactly."
"Now hurry to class soon so that my perfect attendance is maintained," my sister said.
I also attended classes in her name. In fact, I didn't even exist in the school records.
My father made sure of that so I could impersonate her properly.
The students knew I replaced her, but they didn't know we were siblings.
They just thought I was her slave.
"Okay," I said.
She didn't seem like she was leaving. Instead, she brought out her phone and started taking pictures of me, snickering.
I tried squeezing as much water as I could from my uniform, ignoring her.
I had to get to class soon.
I was still contemplating whether to take off my uniform to wring it out when one of the toilet stalls opened forcefully.
A girl with her head down stumbled out, moving strangely.
She turned to my sister, who was closest, and growled.
"What are you doing?" My sister tensed, glaring at her.
But the girl didn't answer.
Instead, she lunged.
My sister screamed and dodged.
"What are you staring at? Come and help!" she yelled, running toward me.
"Huh?" I was too shocked to move.
"Onee-san, everything you have is mine, right? Then your life is mine too, right? So I can use it however I wish. I hope you understand," my sister said with a ferocious, determined face.
The girl lunged at us again.
My sister pushed me forward.
The student bit into my neck, and I screamed in pain.
I tried to pry her off, but she was too strong.
My vision blurred. Blood poured freely from my wound.
The last clear image I saw was the hairpin on the ground and my sister's back as she ran.
I think I'm going to die.
At least I ended up giving my sister the only thing I had left.
Maybe my parents will love me again—because I gave everything I had.
I'm happy now, though, because I realized death feels peaceful.
I can finally end my never-ending life of working.
Hehe.
The end is something to be embraced.