Chapter 7: The One with the Blackout and the Prank
Chandler Bing was having a really bad night. A really, really bad night. He was trapped in an ATM vestibule. With a supermodel. Her name was Jill Goodacre. And she was… stunning. The kind of stunning that made his sarcastic brain malfunction and his normal, non-sarcastic brain just… short-circuit.
"Okay, Chandler. Don't mess this up. She's a supermodel. You're… you're Chandler. Just try to be cool. Just try to say something cool. Not sarcastic. Not witty. Just… cool. Say, 'Hey, how's it going?' No, that's too generic. Say, 'I'm Chandler.' No, she already knows that. Say… something about the blackout. Something like, 'This is a really dark night.' No, that's dumb. Just… breathe. Breathe, Chandler. Breathe. Don't breathe, actually. Just hold your breath. Because you're probably smelling weird, and she's not. She's a supermodel. She probably smells like... tiny, perfect flowers."
The city was in a massive blackout, and the world outside the ATM was a sea of darkness. Inside, however, a dim emergency light was on, illuminating the stunning face of Jill Goodacre.
"Well, this is certainly an adventure, isn't it?" she said, her voice smooth and calming.
Chandler, panicking, just stammered, "Yeah! It's… it's really dark out there. And… and it's a good thing you have a flashlight! Because… because I don't. Because I'm a man who doesn't carry flashlights. Because… I don't believe in them. Like… ghosts. And… and… commitment."
Jill just smiled, a gentle, amused smile. "Well, I'm glad you believe in me. And this flashlight." She then reached out and offered him a piece of gum. Chandler, of course, fumbled with it. It fell to the floor, where it was immediately absorbed by the sole of his shoe. He tried to scrape it off, but it just got more and more stuck.
"I'm just gonna… leave that there," he said, defeated. "That's what I do. I leave things. Like… gum. And dignity."
Meanwhile, back at Monica's apartment, the group was gathered for a candlelight party. Adam was in a corner, talking to Joey, a slight smirk on his face. "Okay, Mr. Omniscient Dating System. The blackout is the perfect opportunity. As a joke, and only as a joke, because I'm totally just doing this for the lols, how do I plan a date with Monica Bellucci during the blackout?"
[Host a candlelit dinner with Monica Bellucci at your apartment on November 10, 1994. Prepare a simple Italian dish. Say: 'The city's power may be out, but you light up the room.']
Adam's eyes widened slightly. "A candlelit dinner in my apartment? This is gold. This is the stuff of legends. And I get to use a prank to make it even better. Monica is so going to get me back for this, but it'll be worth it." He looked over at Monica, who was furiously cleaning the coffee table.
"This is a disaster!" she shrieked. "A city-wide disaster! And no one is even helping! Everyone is just… sitting there! Like it's a party! We have to find a way to make this productive! We could be organizing our closets! We could be… making a list of things to do when the power comes back on!"
"It is a party, Mon!" Phoebe said, her voice soft and melodic. She began to sing, "Blackout, blackout, city's gone dark. Blackout, blackout, just like a shark. A shark that's not really a shark, but a metaphor for a shark that's just... dark. A very dark shark."
Ross, meanwhile, was nervously pacing, a frantic energy in his step. He'd finally gotten the courage to tell Rachel how he felt. He just had to get her alone.
"I just have to tell her," he whispered to Joey. "I have to tell her how I feel. I mean, we're in a blackout! It's romantic! It's… it's the perfect time!"
Joey just nodded, his mouth full of cheese. "Yeah, man. Go for it. But don't tell her about the butt. She's not ready for that."
Ross, a man on a mission, grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her to a corner of the room. "Rachel. I… I've been thinking about this for a while. And I just… I need to tell you something. I… I think I'm in love with…"
Just then, a loud meow was heard, and a cat, a big, orange cat, came out of nowhere, rubbing its face on Ross's leg. Ross, who was not a fan of cats, immediately recoiled, his face a mask of horror. "Oh! Oh my God! A cat! A big, hairy,…cat! A cat from… from hell! Get it away from me! Get it away!"
The moment was lost. Rachel, who had been listening intently, just started to giggle. "Oh, Ross, it's just a cat! It's so cute! Look at its little face!"
Meanwhile, Adam was setting up his date. He had candles, he had a nice bottle of wine, he had the perfect, simple Italian dish. As he went to light the candles, however, nothing happened. He tried again. Nothing. He looked at the candles. They were all… fake. They were trick candles that wouldn't light.
He looked over at Monica, who was smiling, a triumphant, devilish grin on her face. "Whoopsie-daisy, Adam," she said, her voice dripping with smug satisfaction. "Looks like someone got… pranked. They're trick candles! I bought them specifically for this occasion! You thought you could mess with my spices, but you can't mess with my candles! My candles are… a symbol of my vengeance!"
Adam, defeated, just shook his head, a small, genuine smile on his face. This was a good prank. A really good prank. He had to give her credit. He then looked at the cat, which was now rubbing its face on his leg. "Oh, hey, little guy," he said, and the cat just meowed.
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