"You're going insane, darling. You only failed a test, a mere test - you didn't kill anyone."
"For the one hundred and tenth time? Yeah, sure I have done worse. Everything has changed. Can't you see? Aging has caught me unaware, and my entire life is crumbling."
"All I see is a persistent mind unwilling to give up on taking a test that can be lived without. Understand that mother and father love you unconditionally. I myself can't trade you for anything. Plus, you have a powerful beta mate who won't think twice about taking the silver bullet for you. So why end your life or go insane when there is so much to live and remain sane for?" Those words touched me, yet I believed I was unfortunate rather than fortunate with these people around me.
"Please allow me," I gasped, my chest thudding.
"I feel all your pain and fear for the outcome of your nurtured frustration. I'm telling you to take things easy on yourself. Surri isn't a stranger to you, and you know this as well as everyone does. She passed the test a winter ago," my sister added, stepping aside while I groped my way.
"She didn't even fail 40 times. How can you compare her to me when I have failed three times as much as she did?" I managed, my voice shaking.
"Forget the math. What matters is that in the end you'll find yourself. But if you keep going like this, submitting yourself to isolation and taking it to extreme lengths even when your body beckons you to stop - I'm afraid you'll let death catch up with you fast" my sister cautioned while I coughed through her lecture, still groping. I found a tree trunk and held onto it.
"Look how pitiful you are, gasping for breath, darling sister! You don't have to go through all this." My sister added. She tried to ease my heartbeat which felt like the Titanic nearing its end.
"I have told you countless times that it takes more than what you are to persevere. You'll need to be patient. Someday, you'll be like me or even better than me." She dipped her hand into her jacket pocket and pulled out a small bottle of glucose.
"Lick! This should at least calm you down. Gosh!" She lunged and forced the glucose down my throat, then offered me her hand a minute later.
"Don't be a silly jerk. Just take my hand," she ordered me, but I didn't want her help, so she forcefully grabbed my left hand and dragged me to her. I leaned against her so heavily that her feet shifted to balance.
(Heavy panting and groaning)
"Riaha! Riaha! Did you hear that?" she whispered, her ears pricked. I didn't bother responding because I hadn't heard anything.
(Rustling)
"Just listen, Riaha!" she whispered again, her coquettish sweet voice brushing my left ear. Siah, my sister, is everything I am not. I envied her so intensely that not a day passed without me wishing we could trade places. I wished this countless times throughout our daily activities. If there were a way to make this wish come true, I would have done so three years ago, and this predicament wouldn't have presented itself.
(Rustling continued)
"I sense something strange. Do you? I can feel it watching us from behind distant trees, panting and groaning. Riaha, are you sleeping? Wake up!" She shook me. I wasn't sleeping but weeping inwardly. Indeed nightfall has a way of concealing outright pain. Siah kept shaking me until she noticed tears turtling down my cheeks. The moon emerged fully, the rustling grew obvious to me, and as Siah's hand reached toward my cheek - boom; I found myself laying on wet leaves. Siah had disappeared, along with her alluring scent and delicate warmth as the cold night wrapped me in its shadow. I gritted my teeth, hands clamped between my legs as I curled myself into a smallish figure. From nowhere, a deer came running and trampled me, injuring my arms, legs, and head. While I was struggling to get up, I saw her - a giant, ferocious wolf with shiny black fur. I gulped, then tripped backward. I stared into her torrential eyes that glowed like jewels from the pit of hell. When I tried to crawl away, she caught my intended action with deep growls. I had never seen such a wolf like her before.
"Grrrg" I growled weakly, covering my sweaty face while the giant wolf sniffed, smeared and cornered me.
"Grrrg" the wolf retorted more perfectly than any wolf in Rivalloo.
"Grrrg!" I strained to intensify my growl, but it came out as a whimper.
"*Grrrg... Grrrg... Grrrg*," the wolf growled, baring her steel-milky fangs and long steel claws. I tracked her as she paced between trees, her glowing torrent eyes locked on me.
"Nothing to lose," I muttered to myself. My parents despise weakness. Everyone knows me as weak, which torments me. How long will they harbor me when weakness is a crime? Even my parents are weary that my weakness will cost them a life-changing opportunity, and Rico, my betrothed beta mate, has grown tired of me. In a few days, our union becomes official as we walk down the aisle, though I have failed to shift. Last night I dreamed my beta mate rejected me; this would shatter my family's political ambition in the Waivers pack. It has been the cherished vision of our clan to raise to the table of elders. Should my mate accept me, my clan automatically becomes second in command forever in the Waivers pack. But if my dream proves true...no, I would rather die than allow that. I will prove myself strong and useful.
"My mate must not reject me" I uttered silently, then leaped at the wolf. She caught me mid-air with one big paw to my neck, and a deafening roar blunted my ears as I found myself laying on wet leaves,writhing in pain. My eyes rolled back into still blackness.