Now I had to decide whether to let Chris into my home or not. I didn't respond to his message immediately—I wanted at least a day to think. Felix wasn't my boyfriend, I knew that. But what if he really wasn't cheating and genuinely loved me? Would letting Chris stay be a betrayal? But Chris… he was the only man who ever touched the corner of my soul. I had missed him deeply.
I kept thinking—what should I say to Chris?
The next morning, Chris sent a follow-up message with a question mark. "Ah, sorry," I replied. "I fell asleep early yesterday, work was intense." I told him, "Of course you can come." And now, it was out of my hands. "God, forgive me," I whispered… but I was excited. I needed to tell Felix that I'd be away visiting family that weekend. I did.
Friday, Chris arrived before I finished work. I gave him the name of a mall to wait for me. He'd need to wait about 2–3 hours. After work, I went to pick him up. I was nervous—nervous about lying to Felix, excited to see Chris. And there he was. A white t-shirt, casual shoes, linen pants, a blue backpack. He looked like he walked out of a magazine. He held a few shopping bags—he'd been browsing while waiting.
Chris hadn't changed—still that handsome man. I had changed: my hair was shorter with sun-kissed highlights. I was still in shock—Chris was really here. I whispered, "Thank you, God." We deserve beautiful things. He had gotten hungry waiting and already eaten two burgers with sides. I said, "Shall we go home?" and we took the tram.
We got off at a nearby stop and walked to my home, hand in hand. He gave me a few of the shopping bags—gifts. One was a scented candle. Another was a pajama set from a brand-name store: in pink and yellow tones, with a swan pattern and a tutu-like pink tail. I think I used that pajama for three years.
He said he needed a shower, so I helped him with towels, etc. Before he finished, I joined him in the shower. We kissed under the water—it was breathtaking. My heart was pounding. We were together in the water. Then we moved to the bed. We stayed close all night. Our thirst for each other was undeniable. I fell asleep in his scent, peacefully.
He said he missed me constantly. (If you missed me this much, if you loved my scent so much, why didn't you ever marry me, dear Chris?) He fell asleep inhaling my scent. Chris was the only man who kissed me with such passion.
The next morning, we were picking a place for breakfast. Felix hadn't messaged or called—maybe he was with someone else. And I… I was going to do something stupid that Saturday night. I told Chris about Felix, that we'd flirted and seen each other. Chris didn't say anything. He just kissed me and smelled me. I never knew what he was really thinking.