Days kept passing by. Chris was supposed to come again ten days later—on a Friday—and leave on Sunday. My communication with Felix had faded to nothing, especially after the day I caught him having sex with a few women at once. He didn't even deny it.
"Why are you with me then?" I asked, my voice full of pain.
He snapped back coldly, "Did I ever look like the type who wouldn't do that?"
And then, as if that wasn't enough, he added, "I like pale-skinned women with long legs."
What was that supposed to mean? I stood there in shock.
After that day, we met just twice more, and then it was over. My relationship with Felix ended.
Why did I keep letting these toxic men into my life?
I was hurt, yes. I'm emotional. A water sign. I get sad quickly, but I recover just as fast. Most of the time, I was sad for myself. Around me, there were too many toxic men. At some point, it felt like they were lining up. I often asked myself, "Where did I fall? What kind of pit is this?" I fought hard to get out.
How would I ever find a good man and marry him now? The more I got to know people, the more afraid I became of marriage.
I thought maybe Chris was afraid of women too—but how naive of me. He never even considered marrying me. And now, he's married to someone else.
Only two days left until Chris comes back. Time was moving forward with a strange mix of happiness and bitterness.
This new job of mine was more intense compared to the others. The whole winter had passed with overtime. The boss liked me, and I had a good relationship with my coworkers. Especially the man in accounting—he became a kind of protector and a friend. He had been working at the company for ten years, and he stood up for everyone who deserved it.
We still talk from time to time. Share thoughts. Ideas. As long as people didn't betray me too badly, I kept them in my life. Even today, many of the people I let into my life decades ago are still here—friends of twenty, thirty years. I still keep in touch with people from primary school. I check in on everyone I ever worked with.
That's who I am. Loyal.
And finally, my baby, my Chris, arrived.