The dining room was quiet save for the clanging of cutlery, a typical backdrop for our family breakfast.
Xavier, my brother, was sitting to my left at the long glass table, and Trixy, my sister, was seated across from me. Mom was next to Dad at the head of the table, her hand lightly resting on his forearm as he furrowed his brow and sipped his hot coffee while searching through his phone.
Trixy set down her cup and looked at me. She brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she said casually, "Where do you take your internship, Zac? Do you have a company in mind to work for? ".
My fork stopped halfway.
I responded truthfully and only muttered, not having given it any thought yet.
Dad shot me a disapproving glare and gently dropped his cup. You wouldn't be struggling choosing these things if you had finished a business class like your brother.
There once more was that understated, sharp tone. Calm, under control, but sharp enough to leave a wound that won't stop hurting.
Mom lightly squeezed his hand, her words like a bandage trying to cover a cut as she whispered, "Let Zac follow what he wants; Xavier is already handling the company well. "
I peered at my plate, every word erasing my hunger.
I'm just saying, Dad went on, undiscouraged, we gave you everything to have a future. Not to spend time looking at stars.
I clench my fork.
I aspired to be like Xavier someone who had Dads approval easily. Already managing our family's real estate investments, he was polished and confident.
I wasnt like him, though.
I find stars to be lovely. I had nothing more.
Following breakfast, Xavier volunteered to drive me to college.
For a while we rode in quiet, the subdued buzz of the city getting up mingling with the drone of the vehicle engine. I gazed out the window as known streets went past like memories I wished I could avoid going back to.
You alright? he eventually questioned, his gaze fixed on the road.
I nodded. Right.
He looked at me. Pay no heed to what Father said. You are familiar with his nature.
I said something under my breath.
He is only concerned.
He doubts my credibility.
Kuya sighed; he is for security. Not always dreams.
That's bad, I replied sharply, my voice sharp. Because dreams are all I have.
He chuckled gently. He claims counting stars won't help you make any money.
I pushed a grin. Strange. That's precisely what I intend on doing.
The security guard nodded and waved us through as we neared the imposing Austen University gates after reviewing my identification. Xavier streamlined car moved ahead.
Before me, the campus resembled a living postcard: students streaming past the fountain, towering glass buildings shining in the morning light, lawns carefully tended.
Grand theaters, echoing libraries, busy cafeterias, modern laboratories, air-conditioned classrooms, football fields
Everything seemed unchanged.
Still, there seemed to be something unique about today. Like the air had changed. Like a page had turned and I was about to read a chapter I hadnt prepared for.
Among my favorites, Celestial Mapping was the first class of the day.
I got to class a few minutes before time. The space had a faint coffee and ancient books aroma. I sat in my regular spot second row from the back, close to the window where sunshine came through the glass and lit up the pages of my notebook.
I let the silence calm me with a big exhale.
The chair next to me was usually open.
Not until today.
I detected a gentle scraping noise from a chair dragging over the tile. Then, a soft thud marked the impact of a backpack landing on the floor.
Is this seat occupied?
I inquired.
He stood there tall, slim, with skin as light as moonlight. Though his jawline was strong, his nose lovely, and his gray eyes startling and unreadable locked onto mine, a gray hoodie hid most of his traits.
I froze for half a second.
No, I murmured, blinking. You are an exchange student?
He nodded, setting down his bag. Yes. Just came here.
His voice stopped me dead.
Cool. Peaceful. Gentle.
Familiar, nevertheless.
So well-known, it gave me shivers.
Im Januz, he remarked as he settled into the seat beside me.
Zac, I answered reaching out.
He gave my hand a brief hesitancy then shook it. His grasp was neither too firm nor too gentle; rather, it was just sufficient to rouse something inexplicable inside me; his palm was chilly.
I sensed it.
A fire. A flash of recognition I wasnt sure what it was.
He let go of my hand. I looked at him a moment longer than I should have, but he had already taken out his pen and notebook and was getting ready as though this were normal.
But nothing about this seemed regular.
His words
Where else have I heard it before?
I tried to concentrate as the professor started the lecture.
Collapsing gas clouds give birth to stars. Mass, chemical makeup, and closeness to gravitational forces all influence their lifetime.
His voice died into the distance.
All I could focus on was Januz.
From the corner of my eye, I glanced at him. He sat there calmly, taking notes in smooth, perfect penmanship. He showed no sign of anxiety. No indications of freshman clumsiness or uncertainty.
He gave no one else a passing glance.
When he concentrated, I observed the little frown his brows made. When the professor told a terrible joke no one else found amusing, the tiny twitch in his lips was not visible. The rhythmic tapping of his pen, as if he were matching to a beat only he could hear.
That sound
That Evening.
That kiss.
Like a wave, the memory struck me.
The shore. The gentle surge of the waves. Overhead a full moon.
Id strayed too far from the fire. Wanted room. Needed air.
Then he appearedhood went low, standing under the moonlight like a ghost from a dream. Though I hardly noticed his eyes, I recalled his voice. I didnt see his face.
And he kisses.
Gentle. Strong. Fleeting.
It had left me gasping, wondering about myself for months afterward.
It could actually be him.
I turned to face Januz once more.
His profile stayed cool and unaffected. Like he was not even aware I was looking straight at him.
But I knew that voice.
For weeks it kept me in my nightmares.
Clutching my pencil harder, I felt my heart pounding in uncertainty.
Not at all. It could not be. Might it?
I froze as everyone else packed up and left when class was finished. Januz stood as well, neatly tucking his notebook into his backpack.
He turned away and muttered, see you around.
I saw him leave the door.
That voice belonged to him.
The guy kissed me under the moonlight.