Whisper of the Past
The first sunlight of the day came into the grand hall with its towering windows, casting magnificent sunrays on the floor which was made of polished wood. The low murmur of voices filled the air as the students entered their seats and papers were rustling. The grand hall was more like a temple, a place where the knowledge wasn't just learned but also admired with its sky-like ceiling and the banners that seemed to be depicting stars.
Through the piercing look of their professor, Zac Aaron and Janus were on the stage as brothers. Their display was there - research work of several weeks packed in folders, neatly rolled-up slides waiting to be shown on the monitor.
Zac glanced at him covertly.
Janus was exceptional, his head leaned back and shoulders straightaways, and his whole stance was that of control. As a knight uses a shield, he, although contrary, was holding his folder in the same calm and stable manner. His facial expression was not one of being nervous and his smile only seemed to make him even more confident. The light reflecting from his dark, steady eyes was the outgoing morning sun that was pouring in from the windows above.
Zac was filled with nostalgia of the nights they worked on the project - Janus's laughter when Zac was going off about stars, the involved quietness when Janus was drawing, and the way his brow was creased as if he were trying to make the stars themselves help him with his notes.
Zac suppressed his urge to ramble about their nights of work and focused on the presentation instead. He intoned,
"Good morning, everyone," he started with, not lacking in alacrity his voice was optimistic and clear. "Our discussion will be about the overlap between Greek mythology and the stars – the cosmos that tell tales not only of peoples but of the universe itself."
Janus connected naturally, his voice was low but it reached the farthest corners of the room. "Such myths as those of Orion, Andromeda, and Cassiopeia, show us not only how the stars have been the means for humans to find their way but also belief systems, destinies, and dreams they have been influenced."
Their words complemented each other so well—Zac's enthusiastic and radiant, and Janus's tranquil and deep. The pictures changed: from ancient star maps to gods carved in marble; from faded ink drawings that once had been used in scrolls a long time ago. They were no longer just reciting history and myths but creating a new one that was alive and shining as the stars.
Zac could not help but to forget about the room, forgetting even the professor. He kept looking at Janus, who spoke each word with the same calm and measured tone, like he had done it a million times before. And every time Janus looked at him, only for a second, Zac felt the whole universe coming down to that one look—no words but full of understanding and connection.
When it was over, silence was present for a couple of seconds before Ms. Davidson broke it with her voice, "Superb work, Mr. Aaron and Mr. Janus. You did one thing that is hardest - to be both the depth of history and the clarity of research."
Zac felt the mixture of relief and pride within his chest. He exhaled slowly and looked at Janus. Their eyes met and in that moment, which no cheering could ever match, was a shared victory.
With the afternoon sun already setting behind the university's buildings, one by one the halls were empty and students would head for the library, their refuge from the world outside. Par-
For a confined and taciturn refuge, they took their places next to the far window where the world outside appeared bland and dim. If they were to list the books available in the room, it would include astronomical charts, mythologies, and some fragments of translated Greek. The muffled whispers of page flipping and the scratching of notes enveloped them like a protective gadget.
Janus was using one hand to support his head as he skimmed over the text. Zac, pen writing in his journal, seemed to enjoy the stillness wrapping him up. It was a silence he used to like, no awkwardness, but rather comfort.
While the silence lasted, Zac's pen went from scratching fast to nearly stopping. He looked up.
Janus was not reading anymore. His eyes were shut, lashes laying like shades against his skin. His mouth was slightly open. For a moment, Zac thought that he had just fallen asleep. But then—
One tiny shiver ran down Janus' back. His brow furrowed, his fingers that were on the table moved slightly, and he was breathing shallowly and unevenly.
Zac stood up quickly, his chest tightening.
"Janus?" he said softly.
Not a single sound came from him.
Janus hand was gripping the table corner, the skin under the nails was white. While his lips were moving, the words were tangled and barely audible.
"No... please... don't—"
Zac was motionless, panic burning in his chest. This wasn't sleep. This was something worse.
"Janus," he called once more, this time louder, and moving close, "Hey, wake up."
Nevertheless, Janus was ensnared, in a place different from that which Zac's mind wanders.
---
The merciless wind ran through the marble corridors with a howl.
Janus was a small child again. A boy with bare feet on shiny stairs that went on and on downwards. The palace towered about him, gigantic and inflexible, with the shadows slowly advancing on the walls that were both decorated and of gold.
At the end of the stairs was Crisia.
Her golden hair was a mess, her eyes were big and brilliant like two stars. Her hands were extended, not asking for help, but pointing and accusing.
Her words cut through the hall.
"Its your fault!"
The earth moved. She slid.
A scream broke the silence. Marble, blood, and shattered glass.
Janus wanted to go to her that moment, to move, to run, but his legs were as stiff as blocks and his throat was so tight that he couldn't shout. His cries were tearing his chest from inside but they wouldn't come out.
Guards ran in the hall with their heavy boots. Their loud breath is the last thing before the noise completely disappears. There is this silence.
A shadow stepped out from the turmoil.
Lord Ranvier.
Big and scary. Without even trying he takes away from the room all the warmth of the world. Like chains, his hand heavy and cold holds tightly on Janus's shoulder.
"You will never be enough," he muttered, smoke and poison in his voice, "Not for her. Not for this kingdom. And one day... you will pay the price."
The kid goes down to the floor, underlined with the cruel words, still the figure just gets darker and bigger, taking him with it.
---
Janus with a sudden jerk takes in air through his throat, chest racing, that sort of noisy and pleads. Without hesitation, his hand moved out of control, hitting one of the stacks of books which were falling all over the table with a loud crash.
Zac was instantly up on his feet. "Hey-hey, its alright!"
Janus blinked rapidly and his conscience came back to him. The library. The books. The sun going down to amber. His breathing was uneven, sweat was dripping down his temple.
"Excuse me," he said under his breath, raising his body, voice weak. His hand went through his hair, shaking a little.
Zac sitting down next to him and his heart still skipping beats said, "You were in a dream. No—" he gently corrected, "you were recalling."
Janus looked at the ground. He didn't agree with him. "Just a memory. It does not mean anything."
But Zac could perceive it-the darkness which was still there in his eyes, the ghosts which were hanging on to his silence. Whatever it was that he had seen, it was not nothing. It was everything.
He longed to enquire about it. He aimed to dismantle the barrier that Janus had encased himself with. Yet something in Janus's stance—tense shoulders, tight jaw—alerted him not to advance.
Therefore Zac did what was within his capability. With a gentle, almost mocking, and very tender smile, as if being a small light in the depth of darkness, he said, "Well… if you are going to pass out in study time, then why not doing it in style. Half the library being knocked over? That's commitment."
Not a single word was audible after that.
Finally, a faint chuckle dawned on Janus's face. Small. Weak. But True.
Zac sighed with relief. Noticing that little chuckle, no matter how little it was, is what he would do.
They sat side by side in the silence, the disorder of the chaotic moments before now only a distant memory. The sun was going down beyond the window, the sky was turning into purple and gold streaks washing into the horizon.
Being a fan of the stars and space, Zac reminded himself of how the stars are born from fire and still they are guiding people during the night.
Janus to him was very similar to that. A boy who is weighed down by the shadows yet is still burning bright.
Without hesitation, Zac wanted him to tell him everything. First, the suffering, then the past, followed by the secrets that only the nightmares have heard of.
Certainly, not because Zac wanted to help him fix that way. Not because he wanted to get into his inner walls forcibly.
But so that they could be there for each other.
So that he could be the one helping him keep his universe intact.