Seo Joon
I love modeling.
It's the same feeling as being on stage, with the audience's eyes fixed on me, but without the frenzy of having to harmonize singing and dancing.
Here, the only thing I have to remember is to put one foot in front of the other, keep my head and back straight, fix my gaze on a single point, and that's it.
Stiffness and coordination, nothing else.
This time, lustful or shifty glances don't matter.
I'm not the coveted product, but the dress I'm wearing.
And I must say that Midas made me wear comfortable, colorful, and above all, attractive clothes.
The models backstage paid me compliments, some even a little forced or envious, but I must say that overall, the atmosphere was calm.
The makeup artist complimented my flawless skin, which she effortlessly adapted to the color of the lights.
I feel relaxed and enjoyed the catwalk as a moment of consecration, just for being myself and not having to prove it.
Jade's company has paid off: being with her is an intoxicating feeling.
She's beautiful, friendly, cheerful, and irrepressible in her womanhood.
I didn't expect to feel so good in her company, so much so that every time we separate, I miss her.
Sigh.
If Min-ho knew...
To be honest, I still haven't told him I met her, and I feel guilty.
I haven't done anything wrong, and knowing it could reopen the old wound, so I'm postponing the inevitable.
Also because I don't know exactly what to say to him.
Jade was a chance encounter, unexpected, but appreciated.
We spent hours together, in my apartment, with her inflexiblely giving orders on how to walk, how to hold her head, and so on. And then, lying on the floor or on the couch, chatting, laughing, and eating all kinds of junk food that, if my manager knew, would tear up my contract.
But, in all honesty, I've thrown rationality to the winds these days, because the Jade cyclone is unstoppable.
It's pure energy, coursing through your veins and making you feel like a different person or discover things about yourself you didn't know.
And so, one evening, while she was telling me about her studies, I told her about my family, my childhood, my entry into the world of idols, and I revealed my secret dream: to create a line of shoes and bags. I've been scribbling everywhere since I was a kid, imagining futuristic and eye-catching designs, but I've never shown them to anyone.
I was surprised by the way I managed to tell her, who observed me silently and then said:
"And what are you waiting for to make them?"
Unfortunately, I never had the chance to delve deeper into the issues, due to time, contractual constraints, and also because I wouldn't know where to start.
And she, as if it were a simple math problem, began preparing lists of things, addresses, people to contact, and an outline of the photo book to send.
In short, within a couple of hours, I had a business plan ready to send to a client.
Jade, the little genie of the lamp.
When I told her, she stiffened for a moment and gave a sad smile.
How stupid!
That's something Mih-no must have said to her too.
I pretended nothing had happened and never brought it up again.
But this suspended situation isn't doing us any good.
I sigh again.
I need to talk to Min, ASAP.
The sound of a notification surprises me, and, lo and behold, it's him.
"How did it go, hyoung? I saw you in a video on social media and you seemed really comfortable."
I wait a few seconds and then reply:
"Good, the staff was very kind to me, and it came naturally."
I see the chat dots vibrate and wait for his response, but after a few moments, my phone rings.
It's him.
"Hey."
"Hi. I thought it's been a while since we've spoken..."
"How are you?"
I feel very uncomfortable, as if he were a stranger. It's a terrible feeling that I hope will go away soon.
"Everything's fine, I'm writing some new partitions, but I'm not entirely convinced. To be honest, I'm tired. It would be a great help if you were here, like always. When are you coming back?"
I smile and relax.
But not for long.
"I'm leaving again in two days. You know, meet-and-greet and photoshoot, and then I'll go home."
"What can you tell me? Are you resting? Are you eating well?"
I nod, but then I remember I didn't answer.
"Yes, Italian cuisine is excellent and..." I sigh. "Hyoung, I have to tell you something."
"Shoot!"
I swallow.
"I... I met Jade, here in Milan."
I blurt it out in one breath.
A thin silence on the other end.
"I know."
Two syllables that leave me empty.
She knows? How?
"In the video, there was a girl hugging you and complimenting you... They didn't focus on her face, but it was her. I can't forget her movements, her laugh, the way her hair sways down her back..."
I don't dare answer.
"Are you okay?" I finally ask, to break the silence.
"Yes... Tell me, is she okay? It's..."
"She's fine, she's here for a show with Ari. She's his choreographer, and Midas, the designer, hired her to help me with the show... She was really helpful, and the fact that we knew each other helped me settle in quickly."
"Good, I'm happy about that."
"Min, I..."
"Enjoy your days abroad, because you've got a lot of work to do when you get back."
He hangs up without giving me time to reply, and I'm left with my smartphone pressed to my ear, silent.
I really don't think he's forgotten her.