Jade
I watch the plane taxi onto the runway and raise my hand to wave.
But then I remember he's too far away and can't see me.
I faked a smile, as fake as possible, to wave goodbye to Seo Joon as he was leaving, but I feel terribly sad.
These days with him, the show, the fashion show, were an unexpected gift, a joyful breeze in a time when everything seemed static, gray, flat.
But now I'm sadder than before.
Will my life always be like this?
Ups and downs? People found and lost?
I sigh as I walk away from the window and exit Malpensa airport.
Ari has already stopped the taxi, and I get in without saying a word.
I watch the landscape outside pass quickly as we drive back to the city, without seeing him.
Seo Joon.
What an incredible boy!
A huge heart behind a radiant smile.
When I didn't know him personally, I thought he was a loner, reluctant to speak or smile, almost a non-human character.
He always stood out in the group for his attitude towards controlling others, for his etiquette, for his manners, even though he's the one who held the others together. A sort of mother hen who was always there for his companions and Mih-ho's support system.
Thinking about him saddens me, now more than ever; I often see him in photos with the beautiful Ji-Ri.
It might be a marketing ploy, but the fact that they're all over the Korean news as the "golden idol couple" hurts me.
They're perfect together.
She with her long, dark hair, petite, almost alien, with an enchanting face and shy smiles, even though on stage she's a true war machine, dancing and singing.
He—and why should I mention it?—with his hair back to copper, his biker look, and his skull earring. It has a heartbreaking charm, and I scroll through every article or photo I come across.
I cried too much over that face, that voice.
I had to tear it out of my heart.
And now with Seo Joon…
Will he tell her he met me?
And what will he say?
Has he already… forgotten me?
I sigh and catch only Ari's last words.
"Excuse me?"
"Jade, I'm asking you if you're really going to stay in Italy," he repeats with a frown.
Italy, yes.
Thanks to my new friend, my work was noticed by some people at TAM, and when they learned about my qualifications and experience, they offered me a year-long collaboration to stay and work here.
I admit I'm tempted; an opportunity like this doesn't come around often.
In the US, I'd be one of many; I'd have to fight hard to do something highly professional, since in LA everyone's an artist.
Milan is a more limited reality, even if it's chaotic and creative, and perhaps I could find my way.
After all, a year goes by quickly and I could enrich myself professionally.
I nod slowly.
"I also talked to Sherry about it last night, and she said it would be a good opportunity. Actually, I'd like to try it."
Ari doesn't respond immediately; she nods a couple of times, and I see her thoughtful.
"Does that mean we won't see each other again?"
I take her hand and smile.
"It'll be a good excuse to come visit me, what do you think?"
"And what will you do with the language? Italian isn't easy to speak."
"Fortunately, it's an international team and English is the bridge between everyone, but I decided to take lessons and learn something new. The only thing that's bothering me is that I'll have to dance day and night to work off the tons of food I'll be eating. I can't resist the local specialties!"
We both laugh and I erase Mih-no from my mind.
Yes, food is always a great ally against disappointment.
We reach our hotel and go to dinner with our friends.
Today, apparently, is a day of farewells.
Next week, I'll start a new life in an unknown country and with a great desire to finally find my way.
Will it be the right time?
I sincerely hope so.