"I'm sorry Mrs. Harper, while I really appreciate your enthusiasm, I'm afraid that out of all our contestants, you are the least fit for this job." said the interviewer shaking his head
The smile on Charlotte's face disappears as her shoulders droop in disappointment.
"Oh, okay I understand." replied Charlotte as she stood up turning to the door. "Sigh, I've failed again. Can't wait to hear what Larry will say."
___
"Hey, Larry. I'm back." voiced Charlotte as she stepped into the three-roomed apartment shakily. The apartment only had one bedroom, kitchen, and living room. So they had to alternate sleeping between the couch and bed. Of course, they were too poor and broke to buy another bed or a better house. There was also a bathroom, but it was too small to be counted as a room.
"Oh hey, Charlotte. Based on the tone of your voice, I'm assuming that you didn't get the job...again."
"Yeah." replied Charlotte as her head sunk down.
"Well...Well...Well, so what number is this one? The 19th? Wow, one more and you'll reach the 20 rejection milestone." said Larry as his laughter filled the room.
"Larry, I don't think you understand the severity of our situation." said Charlotte as she stared at Larry with her ice cold eyes.
"Relax, Charlotte. We'll be fine." replied Larry as he sat nonchalantly on the sofa.
"Fine!? You think this is fine? Larry, our rent is overdue by 10 and a half weeks. Look into our fridge, the only food we have left is that 2 day old pasta and a box of Ramen noodles. We have no car, the internet is shit here, and our plumbing system is so fucked up that half of the time I can't even flush the fucking toilet. You're telling me this is fine?"
"Hmm, maybe you're right. This isn't as fine as it seems to be."
"Yeah, so maybe you should get your butt up and..."
"Orrrrr, you could try to find another job, after all you were rejected from 19 jobs already, what are the odds that you'll be rejected from 20 jobs? It's almost impossible."
"No, Larry. Being rejected from 19 jobs just gives evidence that I'll probably be rejected from the 20th." Charlotte groaned as she facepalmed her forehead.
"What are you trying to say? That you should stop with the jobs and work as a poll stripper? I mean that isn't too ridiculous, I know that if I was some random person at the bar I would pay to see you."
"Where the fuck did that retarded idea come from? Of course I'm not going to become a fucking poll stripper, I'm saying that since I'm failing with the jobs, maybe you should try to get one."
"Okay, hell no. You know me, the only thing I'm good at and want to do is resting, relaxing, and having fun."
"You know that you need money in order to rest, relax, and have fun."
"Bullshit, I have to not rest in order to rest? What kind of retarded logic is that?"
"Larry, you need money to have fun and rest... and you need a job to get money... and a job means that you have to work... and having to work means not resting... but a job also gives you money... and money gives you fun and rest... so a job means rest and no rest... which means that no rest means rest."
"..." Larry blinks like he just didn't understand what Charlotte said.
"Hello? Larry, did you hear anything I just said?"
"... you know, this is why the world is so fucking stupid. It makes no sense. Why the fuck do I need to not rest in order to rest?"
"Larry, we don't have time to complain about things we can't control... so get your ass up and find a job!"
"But I don't want to." moaned Larry as he flopped himself onto the sofa like a fish out of water.
"Come on, Larry. If we get evicted, we will have to live on the streets, you'll be able to rest for the rest of your life, but you won't have fun resting in the streets will you?"
"...erm actually, I will have fun." said Larry as he stuck out his teeth and pointed his index finger up
"What? Larry, stop being an asshole lying to yourself."
"I'm not lying though. Do you know that the human brain is very powerful? It can influence one to do what ever they want."
"Uh, yea. Every single fucking human brain can do that. You aren't..."
"But, I'm different, I can influence my brain to think whatever the hell I want, not what my brain wants."
"Umm, what's the fucking difference? I don't see how this is helping."
"The difference is, that if someone hits me I can make my brain make me laugh. If my brain were controlling itself, it would make me sad and cry. So, if I were to live in the streets for the rest of my life, I could make myself think that I'm very happy."
"..." it's now Charlotte's turn to stand and blink. "I get it, you're retarded."
"Well wasn't that fucking obvious?"
"..."
"..."
Silence befalls the room as Charlotte and Larry stare mindlessly at each other.
"I wonder who is more retarded, me for being rejected from 19 jobs, or Larry for... well... for being Larry." mused Charlotte. "Sigh, well it's getting late, I'm going to bed. We'll think of something tomorrow."
"Sure, sure" replied Larry as he lay down on the sofa, pulling a blanket over himself. Today was Charlotte's turn to sleep on the bed.
"Goodnight, Larry."
"Goodnight."
As Charlotte stepped into the bathroom, she looked into the mirror unlike Larry's pitch black hair, Charlotte's pale hair shined like gold in the bright light. "Sigh, Goodnight Charlotte."