My whole body shook. I wiped the stupid tears off my face and looked at my grandma.
"I'm miserable," I told her. The words felt ugly and true. "I'm stuck. I love him... but I also hate him. I hate him so much I want to hurt him. But I can't because—"
"Because you love him," she finished for me.
I nodded. A crazy laugh burst out of me. "Yes! Do you know how stupid that is? To love the person who broke you? He shattered me and didn't even care!"
Gran touched my cheek. She looked so young. Like the photos I'd seen. Beautiful brown eyes, black hair like mine. She was murdered young. She never even met me when she was alive. But she looked at me with more love than Steve ever did.
She cupped my face. "Listen to me, Miracle. This thing with Steve... it's not love. It's wrong. It's sick. It's abuse."
My insides squeezed tight. No one told me a broken heart could hurt this bad. It was a physical pain. A hopeless, empty feeling. I was so tired.
My lips wouldn't stop trembling.
"Stand up," she said, stroking my hair. "Stand tall. You are a hybrid princess. You are powerful."
"I gave up everything for him!" I cried, clasping my shaking hands together. "I didn't just burn bridges, I blew them up! I said horrible things to my dad... I chose Steve over my own family. Over my birthright! I can't go home. Dad could never love me after what I did."
"Nonsense!" she said, firm.
"It's true! You didn't see his face when I left. I broke my father's heart. I am a terrible person. I am scum. And I have nowhere to go."
"Yes, you do!" she insisted, pulling me into a hug. "Your father loves you. Nothing can change that. His love has no conditions."
She held me until I stopped shaking. Then she kissed my hair. Her voice got hard.
"Now you pull your head out of your ass, girl. This is rock bottom. You are lying half-dead on a dirty bus station floor! Wake up! Remember who you are. You are Miracle Eloise Cole. You are royalty!"
"I can't..." I whispered.
A new voice cut through the air. Deep and strong. "That wasn't a request."
We both turned.
Grandma gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. "Cypher?"
I stared. "Grandpa?"
He stood there, solid and real. He looked at my grandma first. A slow smile spread on his face.
"Hey, Pinky. Miss me?"
Grandma flew into his arms. He kissed her. It wasn't a sweet kiss. It was a desperate, hungry kiss. A kiss filled with years of missing someone.
If my heart wasn't already breaking, I might have been grossed out. Standing here watching my billion year old grandpa make out with my dead grandmother.
"Took you long enough," Grandma whispered when they finally pulled apart.
He wiped her tears away with his thumb. And I watched him.
I watched him looked at her like she was his entire world. I briefly wondered if someone would ever look at me that way. Like I was their entire world.
"How's our boy?" she asked. It was the first time her voice shook.
And her boy would be my thousand year old father. She missed him. I could see it in her posture. And in her eyes and in her look.
"He grew up good. Strong. He reminds me of you every day. It made the pain of losing you... easier to bear."
"He's a good man? Tell me he is a good man, a good person" she asked, crying and smiling all at the same time.
"The best. He is the best of both of us, my love" Grandpa said. He kissed her hair. He couldn't stop looking at her.
And it hit me. Like a punch to the stomach.
Steve never looked at me like that. Not ever.
"I miss him" Gran said. "I miss my baby" She admitted. "And I miss you so much"
"I know" Grandpa nodded.
Grandma's face got serious. "Can he be without you? If our son needs you, I can wait. I can wait longer. You should go back"
Grandpa shook his head. He pushed her hair behind her ear. "No. Waylen will be just fine. He's not alone. And I am right where I need to be, my love."
I froze.
I am right where I need to be.
The words echoed in my silent, broken head.
My eyes snapped to his. I took a step closer. My whole body went cold.
If I stayed still, it wouldn't be true.
But it was true. I felt the truth tear through me, breaking my heart all over again.
I finally understood.
"No..." The word was a choked whisper. Then I screamed it. "NO! Grandpa, no! Please, no!"