Miracle's POV
A voice cut through the fog. "Hey, baby."
I flinched, spinning around immediately. The movement sent a fresh wave of dizziness through my shattered skull. I touched my head but I wasn't bleeding anymore.
I wasn't sure if I was living anymore.
I turned to the voice. I recognized her instantly. She was everything I imagined her to be growing up.
"Grandma?" The word was a choked whisper. My body locked in place. "Am I dead?"
"Not yet," she said, her form shimmering with a gentle light. "But you will be if you linger here."
A sob caught in my throat. Dead or not, the sight of her was a relief in a hurricane.
I stumbled forward, collapsing into her embrace. For a single, perfect second, the world wasn't broken. I wasn't broken.
She felt like home.
"I've missed you. I have missed all my life" I breathed into her neck, but there was no scent. Dead people have no scent.
"And I you, my sweet girl. But you can't stay here" Her voice was firm, layered with a love that couldn't be swayed.
"Not even for a little while?" I hated the plea in my voice, the shake in my hands I couldn't hide.
This wasn't how I wanted my dead grandmother to see me for the very first time.
"Not even a little." She insisted.
I pulled back, a failed attempt at a smile twisting my lips. "You know I was named after you? Ira Eloise and Miracle Alana. Almost the same."
"Your name," she corrected, her tone leaving no room for argument, "is Miracle Eloise Cole."
A bitter, broken laugh escaped me. "I haven't been Miracle Cole in a long time. I'm Ira White now. Guess no one updates you on the other side." The name tasted like salt. "If I stay, I won't have to be her anymore. You'd hate Ira White. You'd be ashamed of her"
Her hand gripped mine, and her smile vanished. "Go back."
"No."
"It wasn't a request, Miracle."
"Make me." I said stubbornly. The coldness I felt in the bathroom was returning, encasing my heart. "It's easier here. Moreover, no one will miss me. Steve certainly won't."
"That is a lie," she said, her voice sharp. "I know for a fact that that is a lie. There is love waiting for you. A different kind."
"Where?" The word was a challenge. "It's not true. I'm empty."
"Sweetie—"
"He wasn't even sorry" The cold cracked, and the raw, burning hurt poured out. "He looked me in the eye and told me he'd been sleeping with her for a year, and then he shrugged. He shrugged, Gran. I am bleeding on a floor and he was mildly inconvenienced. I should shoot him. I should buy a gun and then freaking shoot him"
"Maybe you should. You are not just a Cole. You are also a Kani too and in my pack, boys have been killed for less" She told me. I couldn't tell if she was joking or not.
The tears came then, hot and shameful. I swiped at them angrily.
"It hurts, Gran." I clutched my stomach, the emotional pain a physical thing. "It feels like I'm dissolving from the inside out. Why does everyone choose someone else? Why am I the one who gets left behind? The 'almost' girl. Almost chosen. Almost loved. Almost good enough."
I was yelling now, my breath coming in ragged gasps.
"I'm tired of being the prologue to someone else's story! The lesson the hero has to learn before he finds his real happy ending! When do I get to be the main character? When does someone choose me first?"
My grandmother's face was a mirror of my pain, but her eyes held a steely resolve.
"Miracle—"
"Am I broken?" The question was the smallest, most shattered part of me.
"No," she said, her voice absolute. "You are a Cole. You are made of fire and legacy, not this... this boy's weakness. What you had with him wasn't love. It was a lesson. A brutal, cruel one. Now stand up."
"I gave him everything. I grew up in love. I know what it's supposed to be! And he made me forget. He made me small." I wiped my face with the back of my hand, the gesture tired and final. "I'm too tired to fight."
"You listen to me," she said, pulling me close. Her voice was low and intense. "You are not dying over a man who doesn't flinch when you shatter. You are going to live to make him wish he'd never dared to touch you. You are going back if not for love, then for vengeance. Now fight."
"I don't know who I am without him."
"You're about to find out. And darling, she is magnificent."
"Please, let me stay—"
"Go. Now"