There was something surreal about being awake yet not feeling your own body. I remember the harsh glow of the computer screen, the stale taste of leftover pizza, and then darkness. But now, no sensation of touch, no sights to see, and even my own thoughts felt distorted, warped, as if they bounced off the walls of a cavernous space within my own mind.
Time seemed to have lost its meaning in this void. I could have been here for minutes or maybe eons. Suddenly, a sense of urgency washed over me, a jarring reminder of my humanity. I needed to find a way out of this unsettling void. I attempted to call out, but no sound emanated. Panic started to set in. Was this what death felt like? My heart should have been racing, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything.
From the periphery of my sight, I spotted a knight in full armor, in a skirt? Accompanied by two wolves striding towards me. I was certain they were wolves; no dogs I knew could match their sheer size. Although I couldn't distinguish his features... Is it a he though? Not to be gender discriminatory but the general body shape and armor tells me that this knight is a woman instead of having a peepee. I'll just assume that she is one.
Anyways, although I couldn't distinguish her features, only her general silhouette, somehow... I felt she was coming for me. With her non-wolflike wolves in tow, one wielding a sword and the other bearing a shield-like mane, she drew nearer. They sparked a sense of familiarity in me. Unexpectedly, the knight smiled—or at least, I sensed her smiling. Her features remained obscured, but I felt a certainty in her amusement. She then strode past me, her wolves trailing behind him. I attempted to follow, to call out, to inquire. I strained every fiber of my being, but it seemed as if my body was absent.
Just as despair was about to take hold, a flicker of sensation emerged—an alien, tickling sensation that, in this desperate void, felt like a life raft. I concentrated, and the sensation intensified. It was like static on a television, but I was the screen. Bursts of colors, shapes, and patterns flooded my perception. As I tried to make sense of this bizarre experience, I noticed I could discern something, some kind of form within the chaos.
Images started to make sense gradually, morphing from abstract shapes into discernible figures—soft curves, sharp angles, the gentle sway of what looked like grass. Was I seeing things now? But it wasn't quite vision; it was more akin to perception, like a sudden awareness of the surroundings.
Suddenly, I felt movement. A kind of undulation, a shifting weight. The sensation was disorienting, but it also filled me with a profound sense of relief. I had a form, a body. My body moved, and I felt ground beneath me. But the sensation was odd; it was as if I was standing in six different places. But how could that be?
As my new sense of vision began to stabilize, I saw—or rather perceived—that I wasn't alone. In front of me were five others, small figures with rounded bodies. They looked almost like armored centipedes, their heads covered in what appeared to be helmets. A shock of recognition ran through me. I knew these creatures. They were me.
It was absurd, utterly ridiculous. I was a grown man, not a fictional creature from a kid's game. I couldn't possibly be a pokemon. But, no matter how much I tried to deny it, my newfound senses told me otherwise. And there were more of us, six in total. Six, just like a Falinks.
In a strange way, I felt connected to these creatures. It was like I could feel what they were feeling and understand their simple thoughts. It was weird but I could even see myself from their point of view, like I was the sixth one in their group, looking just like them.
I spent what could've been minutes or maybe even hours trying to understand what was happening. I tried to move, to talk, and to control this strange new body of mine. To my surprise, I found that I wasn't just controlling one body, but all six of them. However, the other bodies, besides the one that seemed like the main one, moved more slowly.
It's like the main body can move independently but the other ones can only move or take action at the same time, if that makes sense? It's like I have two computers, one is a next gen desktop and the other is a banged up laptop that was from the time of my ancestors. I have access to both, but the controls are very different. Surprisingly though, if I will to move all the bodies at the same time, then I go back to controlling the next gen desktop PC.
It's only when I try to do individual actions that the other bodies lag behind. But I can feel it instinctually that I only need time to develop, time to grow. And maybe, just maybe, I can have all 6 bodies doing individual Hyperbeams. Sounds like a big dream, I know, but something tells me it's not impossible. I mean, if I can wake up as a group of pokemon, I can surely figure this out, right?
A curious sense of thrill washed over me. It was incredible, unimaginable. I had been transported into a world of pokemon, a world I had only ever experienced through a screen. And I wasn't just any pokemon, but a Falinks, a peculiar creature that was six beings in one. I could feel the others' curiosity mirroring my own, their innocent confusion resonating within our shared consciousness. It's like they're me, but not me at the same time. Their simple thoughts seemed really similar to mine, just less aware, I don't know, I'm not sure… Fuck! It's hard to put into words, but that's the best I can describe it.
With each passing moment, I grew more comfortable with my unique condition. I began to experiment, to explore. I found that we could move together, creating a unified, formidable front. But we could also act independently, exploring different paths, seeing the world through six sets of eyes simultaneously. Kinda like a beat up version of Byakugan. Oops sorry different world, not that I even know what that feels like.
"CRACK! CRACK!"
While the main body was doing some internal processing, three of the other bodies were alerted by the sound of cracking twigs which immediately notified the main one, making all bodies face the sound's direction. All the bodies rushed into a triangle position instead of a linear one because I felt that was more intimidating, higher surface tension? Fuck, I don't know this is my first… whatever this is. I don't even know what I am.
"CRACK! CRACK! CRACK! Grrrrrrrrrr"
Another snap of twigs and a growl snapped me out of my thoughts, reminding me that whatever was coming out of those bushes definitely wasn't friendly and certainly wasn't human. Then, out of the bushes, came a fully grown man wearing nothing but the skin his mama gave him. He was growling and drooling like he'd just found his dinner for the night.
Wow… I was wrong. Maybe I wasn't sent to a Pokemon world after all, but to an alternate one? Or even to a different dimension? My thoughts were interrupted again when the wild, dirty, and naked man charged at us.
"ARRGHHHH"
I wanted to run. Heck, I'm not a fighter, I write code for Go-Arceus' sake! What! Weird how my internal thoughts got auto-translated, how'd that happen? Because of my momentary distraction, the man's attack partially succeeded in knocking down my bodies. Feels strange to say it, but yes, MY bodies. He managed to knock down the three at the back of the formation. They absorbed the shock for the rest of us at the front. The only fight I've ever been in was with my brother, and it wasn't even serious. I won that fight because I hit him in the back of the head with a basketball. My mom gave me a good spanking after that. Honestly, those coat hangers felt like they were made of metal back then.
I was losing focus again, but I forced myself to concentrate on the fight. I took stock of our situation, realizing we weren't too badly hurt. The other me's just fell over and were struggling to regain their formation. I glanced at the man and noticed his hand was bleeding. Well, either he was an idiot, or I was just lucky. I didn't really want to attribute it to luck, because that would make me feel cheap. It looked like his initial charge had hit my main body's horn.
Seeing the man scream over his minor injury, I decided to charge at him, head first. As I did, I noticed an energy building up in my horns. I say horns because, as I found out a little too late, I managed to turn the crazy, naked man into a human pincushion. It seems like my focus was too intense, and instead of only my main body going for the attack, all the bodies, including the ones that had fallen, got up and joined in. Each of us hit different spots, and soon the man was gushing blood like a twisted human fountain.
Oh damn… I don't know what to feel, to be honest…
Actually I do, confusion was the foremost. Every aspect of this situation seemed surreal, like the trippiest of dreams. I had to constantly remind myself that, somehow, this was real, or not? But what was true was that I was no longer a human sitting behind a computer screen, but an entity controlling a troop of tiny armored pokemon. The bizarre reality I found myself in seemed to defy every law of nature I knew.
A tinge of guilt gnawed at the edges of my consciousness. A feeling of having done something wrong, perhaps leaving behind my old life, or maybe guilt over not doing enough to understand what was happening to me. But the sheer absurdity of my situation pushed that guilt into the background. My current reality was so fantastical, so implausible, that it was hard for any guilt to take root.
And despite everything, the whole scenario still felt like a dream. I was half-expecting to wake up at any moment, drenched in sweat, chuckling at the absurdity of my imagination. But each passing moment, each sensation from my various bodies, grounded me in this strange reality. I wasn't just dreaming of being a Falinks; I was living it.
Even as I rammed into the wild man, my thoughts were a whirl of these conflicting emotions. The harsh reality of my physical actions contrasted sharply with the dreamlike state of my mind. I was a human, a software engineer, suddenly thrust into a fight for survival in a body - or bodies - I barely understood. It was as strange as it was terrifying, as bewildering as it was real.
After realizing that getting lost in thought had become a problem more than once and that this place wasn't safe, I decided to leave the scene of the crime and try to find some water. Hopefully, there was a spot nearby where I could stay for the night and maybe even build a small hideout for my little bodies. To be totally honest, I was very curious about what was going on with my new form. I'm no biologist, but my current condition deeply intrigued me, if my constant referencing wasn't a clue.
Anyway, it was time to find water. I lined up my bodies and tried to listen for the sound of running water, but I didn't have any luck from where I was. I decided to move in the direction from which the man had come. Without a clear sense of where I was, I decided to label that direction as north. I continued heading north for what I estimated to be a kilometer, straining my... ears? Do I even have ears? Wait, I need to stop this line of thought. It was dangerous to wander without focusing. I pushed my sense of hearing, but all I heard were bugs, leaves, and the occasional distant growl or squeak.
After moving another 500 meters, I struck a tree in front of me, marking it with a 'v'. My bodies and I then turned west and proceeded straight west for about one and a half kilometers, all the while checking for any landmarks.
The sight of Skwovets and Greedents high in the trees, Oddish playing with Hoppips, and the sporadic appearance of a Pidgey confirms that we're undoubtedly in the Pokemon world. However, as to which continent we're on, I'm still not sure. That's something we'll have to figure out later. They ran away when we got close, probably scared off by the dried blood on my bodies. We tried to clean it off by rolling around on the ground and in the grass. This got rid of a lot of the blood, but not all of it. The smell started to become somewhat permanent no matter what we did, so we decided to try a bit harder.
During one of the rolls, one of my bodies gathered up some energy that looked a lot like dust. It started rolling faster, spinning in one spot. I tried to gather that same energy and get familiar with it. The other bodies and I were feeling around for what I thought was ground-type energy. The dust was a hint that the other body was performing the Rollout move. I didn't know if Falinks could learn that move, but their body shape seemed right for it. Was Rollout ground or rock? Heck, I didn't remember, it had been ages since I last played a pokemon game. I only knew about Falinks because they looked cute and cool, and my nephew was a big fan of them, even though he called them useless.
He had a poster of Falinks in his bedroom and a sticker on his pencil case. I wondered how he was doing now... Wait! Dang it! I forgot my main goal of getting a feel for the energy. I decided it must be ground energy because of the dust. Suddenly, the body released the growing energy and moved incredibly fast, sort of like Knuckles from Sonic the Hedgehog. Soon, the body was out of sight and out of my mind, both literally and figuratively. About 3 minutes after chasing the body, I felt it disconnect.
In a sudden frenzy, I found myself grappling with what this meant. Had it perished? Was it gobbled up by a larger pokemon? Had it served itself up as a moving feast? Were we reduced to a quintet? Sure, we'd make a decent basketball team, but what about if the volleyball itch needed scratching? The loss of shouting "NICE RECEIVE!" or "ONE TOUCHIE!" filled me with dread. This isn't right; Falinks have to be a six-man team.
I bolted in the direction the missing body of me had rolled off to. My dreams of unleashing a synchronized barrage of six Hyperbeams, like a more formidable, adorable version of Cyclops, seemed to crumble. About a minute into our frantic chase, I sensed a perplexed and frightened consciousness attempting to reconnect. It was like that "A BLUETOOTH DEVICE IS NOW CONNECTED" kind of feeling. Seriously, that's how it felt, like an unexpected notification ping. And then, bam! A wave of nausea overcame us, and we fell to the ground. Gathering ourselves took another minute before we could resume our rescue mission.
Being a Falinks, I seemed to instinctively know the position of each bodies relative to the main one. Don't ask me how that works, but it does. I could sense the absent me wasn't far, around 200 meters. After a quick waddle, I spotted it groaning, its tiny horn impaled in a tree. In theory, even as a Falinks, it shouldn't be hard to dislodge someone from a tree. A simple push in the opposite direction should suffice. The hitch was that it was stuck at a height that we, as Falinks, couldn't naturally reach.
Unless, of course, we didn't stay at ground level. Ha! I gathered my comrades and experimented if we could stand atop each other. To my surprise, we could, and quite easily too. I thought it would be a much bigger challenge, but we aced it on the first try. After forming our makeshift Falinks ladder, I noticed that the stuck part of me was positioned lower than the main body at the top of the tower. I took a leap and aimed to hit the stuck me with as much force as I could muster. The same energy that had surfaced when I skewered the wild man earlier began to resonate within me. "PLACK!" I hit the stuck body with more gusto than anticipated, dislodging it from the tree, albeit leaving it slightly hurt.
The part of me that had been stuck whimpered on the ground, tears streaming from its eyes. I could tell it was in pain and weeping. What a puss… wait, that's me so… GET UP!! I tried to echo this command in our shared consciousness. It only sobbed harder. This was strange, it was me but not me. I was unsure of how to comfort it. I attempted a different strategy. I pictured the gravity of our predicament. About how we were currently all easy targets for any larger pokemon in the area. I flooded the network with images of our demise if we didn't find a safe haven soon. That tactic seemed to do the trick. It jolted the rest of the bodies into alertness and they also became cautious. They all stood up and tailed me in our caterpillar-like formation.
We proceeded to search for our temporary stronghold throughout the day using a grid search. I think that's what it's called anyway. The method where you travel in one direction and then turn 90 degrees and continue for the same distance. Then at the third junction, instead of turning 90 degrees to return to our starting point, we doubled the distance before turning 90 degrees. So our search grid was expanding into a gradually winding box? I was trying to execute this grid search earlier, but the other me had to go and perform a Rollout.
We encountered many more Pokemon along the way. We came across Caterpies and Butterfrees which started trailing us in fascination. Maybe wondering why the heck this guy is red instead of green? At that point, I instructed my other bodies to stop moving individually and grab each other, so we moved in sync, kind of like a single entity. We were somewhat apprehensive about the Butterfrees but they were mostly just curious. However, they did seem a bit panicked when I deliberately split our group in half. It must have been a shock to them. They tried to bind the halves together using what I think was String Shot. When I once again separated all my bodies quite far apart, I was unprepared for the ensuing chaos.
"WHOOSH! THUD! PLAK!"
Caterpies were dropping like flies left and right. I heard some thudding sound which I assumed to be some Metapods falling from the branches above. Even some Butterfrees crashed into each other. The others were just buzzing frantically in circles above my bodies. They tried to reconnect my bodies together but I once again tried to create some explosive theatrics. I simply commanded the other bodies to roll further away. Another round of Pokemon fainting took place. Some even started puking, which was unexpected. I suppose rainbow vomit is a reality in this world. However, I did warn every other body through our connection to avoid touching the rainbow vomit. It could be poisonous for all I know.
Then suddenly, everything changed when an enormous, and I mean titanic, Butterfree looking mutherfucker appeared. I guess this is what they mean when they say the more you mess around, the more you find out…