We've been living in Korea for 8 years now, all due to my parent's efforts to get me into K-pop training.
Since I was one I've been in pretty intensive training and many kid idol groups with modelling agencies, but eight years after I turned six I failed every K-pop audition I attended. My older brother is a rapper in America, my oldest sister an actress. My parents wanted me to be one of those record breaking 10 year old idols- there, I managed to be in eight kid-idol groups and that was all when I was 5-8. I very almost got into SM, but in the last round of the audition I got no call back and never heard from them again. There's a small entertainment connected to my Dad's old workplace called "NewLine Ent"- a K-pop company with only one major boy group called "FL!X". My Dad told me to go and audition, as they were looking for trainees- seeing as I'd tried the biggest to smallest (Yes, HYBE, JYP, YG, SM, now C9, even "M25 and Starroad while it lasted), there weren't any idol opportunities for me left, so I went ahead and did the audition- of course, knowing I'd fail.
I didn't!
Aged 14 and 15 in one month, I'd passed my 1,000th K-pop audition! Half of my friends are now trainees or idols, so I immediately phoned up the ones I still have and told them the news. My parents were overjoyed and happy for me, and I was scared but excited. Finally, I'll be the reason why models go broke, the hottest fashion icon, the superstar, the fangirls and fanboys' everything…
My excitement died a little when I reached NewLine. It's a creepy, dark place with refurbished rooms and more than enough trainees. I was rested endlessly on the FIRST DAY, the monitors trying to judge which trainee group to put me in. The lineup, I learned, was for NewLine's next boy group
"E!GHT&". Out of us 37-50 boys, they'd choose us on each assessment and knock trainees back into "the base" (mainstream training). I'm introduced to my schedule and new tutors, and my manners class tutor was just taking me to my dorm to meet the GROUP B trainees. I'm devastated when I see them. Are they seven years? Eight? Nine? Ten? The tutor leaves us for introductions.
Edible silence.
'Annyeonghaseyo,' I say quietly. "Yuuto ibnida, naneun ilbon saram.'
More silence.
I want to die out of sadness and anger- what type of bandmates are these?
I settle on my bed, unbothered to beg with them.
'Annyeonghaseyo,' the smallest of them says quietly. He bends his head a little- quite rude, as he should now to me. 'Jisung ibnida.'
'Yewang Ibnida,' says the 2nd smallest. Then there's silence.
'As I said,' I say. 'My name is Yuuto, I'm Japanese and I'm 14 years old.'
Silence.
I don't care anymore. I put my feet up on the worn out looking mattress and the boys return to their businesses too, shooting glances at each other. Jisung remains with his head down, not meeting anyone's gaze. As I stare at him he looks at me, and I smile to be friendly. The corner of his mouth drags up- I don't know if that counts as a smile but he hardly looks at me for a second.
Who cares?