The moment I turned around after hearing that familiar name…
my heartbeat stopped for a second.
But then…
I realized it wasn't him.
It was just a senior.
A completely different person.
For a moment, I felt both relieved and strangely disappointed at the same time.
Because somewhere deep inside, a tiny part of me had actually hoped for something impossible.
Still, one thing shocked me—
his name was exactly the same.
The same name I had carried silently in my heart for years.
What a coincidence, right?
For the next few seconds, I just stood there quietly trying to calm my thoughts.
Then immediately my practical partner asked,
"What happened?"
And I quickly replied,
"Nothing."
But honestly…
inside my mind, everything was running too fast.
Because hearing that name after so long felt strange.
Almost unreal.
---
Later that day while returning to hostel, I kept thinking about it again and again.
"What are the chances?"
Same name.
Same calm personality.
Even slightly similar vibe.
For a second, my mind actually tried connecting both of them together.
But then logic immediately interrupted.
"No."
"That's impossible."
After all, the boy from my school belonged to commerce field.
And this was medical college.
A senior MBBS student.
There was no way they could be the same person.
And honestly…
somewhere inside me, I already knew that too.
Still…
life has a funny way of playing with emotions sometimes.
---
After that day, I started noticing that senior occasionally around campus.
Not intentionally.
It just happened naturally.
Sometimes in corridors.
Sometimes near practical labs.
Sometimes in canteen areas with his friends.
And every single time someone called his name…
my mind automatically drifted toward old memories again.
---
A few days later, something unexpected happened.
Our group was sitting together discussing one project assignment when suddenly that same senior came toward us.
Apparently, he was helping juniors regarding some academic project work.
The moment I saw him approaching, I became slightly awkward internally.
Not because of him specifically.
But because his name itself made my heart feel complicated.
---
He talked very politely with all of us, explained a few things related to the project, and surprisingly made everyone comfortable quickly.
Unlike the scary image I had imagined of seniors before, he seemed genuinely calm and mature.
Even my friends later admitted,
"He's actually really nice."
And honestly…
they were right.
---
Slowly, because of project work and common discussions, he started interacting more with our friend group.
At first it was completely normal.
Academic conversations.
Notes.
Project updates.
Class discussions.
Nothing unusual.
---
Then gradually, he also started texting me sometimes.
Initially, our chats were completely related to studies.
"Did your group complete the assignment?"
"Professor changed the submission date."
"Send the PDF once."
Simple things.
And honestly, I never thought much about it.
Because for me…
he was just a senior.
Nothing more.
---
But strangely…
every time I talked to him, memories of my past started returning again.
Not because they were similar people.
But because hearing that same name repeatedly made my heart remember things I had tried so hard to move on from.
Sometimes after chatting for a few minutes, I randomly ended up thinking about school corridors again.
Terrace moments.
Parking area.
Farewell night.
Everything.
And honestly, it frustrated me sometimes.
Because I had worked so hard to focus on my new life.
Yet somehow the past still found ways to return quietly.
---
Meanwhile, college life kept moving normally too.
Our friend group became even closer now. We studied together before tests, shared notes, explored cafes outside campus, and spent hours laughing over random things.
For the first time in years…
life actually felt balanced.
And maybe that's why I didn't want emotional complications anymore.
Not now.
Not after everything.
---
One evening, while sitting in hostel room after classes, one of my close friends suddenly asked casually,
"Can I ask you something?"
I nodded.
Then she smiled suspiciously.
"Do you know that senior likes you?"
The moment she said that…
I froze completely.
"What?"
She immediately started laughing seeing my reaction.
"I'm serious."
Apparently, according to her, it was becoming noticeable.
The way he talked to me differently.
The extra attention.
The random conversations.
The way he remembered small details.
And honestly…
hearing all this made me uncomfortable instead of happy.
Not because he was a bad person.
Actually, he was genuinely kind.
Respectful.
Understanding.
Calm.
Any girl could probably like someone like him.
But the problem was…
my heart wasn't ready.
--
Not for relationships.
Not for emotional confusion again.
Not for hurting someone unknowingly.
And maybe somewhere deep inside…
a small part of me still belonged to unfinished memories from the past.
Even after all these years.
---
That night, I thought about everything carefully.
And finally, I decided something.
Distance.
Not rudely.
Not dramatically.
Just slowly creating boundaries before things became complicated.
Because the last thing I wanted was giving someone false hope.
Especially someone who genuinely respected me.
---
From the next few days onward, I slowly reduced conversations.
Replies became shorter.
Interactions became limited.
I avoided unnecessary texting.
And whenever possible, I kept discussions strictly academic.
At first, maybe he didn't notice much.
But slowly…
the difference became visible.
---
And honestly?
I felt guilty sometimes.
Because he never actually confessed anything directly.
Never pressured me.
Never crossed limits.
So technically, maybe I was overthinking everything.
But still…
I knew emotional attachment starts quietly.
And I didn't want things to go further if I couldn't return those feelings genuinely.
---
One evening after practicals, while our group was leaving together, he suddenly walked beside me and asked softly,
"Did I do something wrong?"
That question immediately made me feel bad.
Because his tone sounded genuinely confused.
For a second, I didn't know what to answer.
Then quietly I replied,
"No… it's nothing like that. I'm just focusing more on studies these days."
Which honestly wasn't completely false.
But wasn't complete truth either.
He nodded slightly and smiled softly.
Still respectful.
Still calm.
And somehow that made me feel even worse.
---
After returning to hostel that night, I sat silently near the window for a long time.
Cool wind entered the room softly while campus lights glowed outside.
And once again…
my thoughts became complicated.
Why does life become messy even when we try keeping things simple?
Why do good people arrive when our heart still lives somewhere in the past?
And most importantly…
why did destiny keep bringing people connected to his memories into my life?
---
Days passed like this.
Slowly.
Quietly.
And eventually, things between us naturally became slightly distant.
Not awkward.
Just different.
---
But little did I know…
life wasn't done surprising me yet.
Because one night…
while scrolling casually through social media after finishing assignments…
something unexpected suddenly appeared on my screen.
A familiar profile picture.
A familiar username.
A profile I thought had disappeared forever.
And the moment I saw it…
my hands froze completely. 💫
For a few seconds, I genuinely thought maybe I was imagining things again.
Because that profile…
it couldn't be real.
After all, months ago his account had disappeared completely. I had convinced myself that maybe he deleted Instagram forever. Slowly, I had accepted that there would probably never be any connection between us again.
And yet…
there it was.
Right in front of my eyes.
The same username.
The same profile picture style.
The same feeling in my chest after seeing it.
My heartbeat instantly became faster.
---
I sat up properly on my bed and stared at the screen continuously as if the profile might disappear again at any second.
My roommate noticed my expression immediately.
"What happened?"
But honestly, I couldn't even explain properly.
Because how could I explain that after trying to move forward for years…
one small notification had suddenly shaken my entire heart again?
---
With slightly trembling hands, I opened the profile slowly.
And yes.
It was him.
Or at least… it really looked like him.
For some moments, I just kept staring silently without even realizing I was smiling slightly.
It felt unreal.
Like suddenly one forgotten part of my life had returned without warning.
---
And strangely…
all those old feelings I thought had become weak suddenly returned so naturally.
School corridors.
Farewell night.
Terrace moments.
The first interaction during yoga day.
Everything replayed inside my mind at once.
It's funny how some people stay hidden quietly in one corner of your heart no matter how much time passes.
---
But then reality hit me again.
"What now?"
That question immediately brought nervousness back.
Should I send request again?
Should I ignore it?
What if he still ignores me like before?
What if he doesn't even remember me properly?
So many thoughts started attacking my mind together.
---
I locked my phone immediately and placed it beside me.
Trying to act calm.
Trying not to overreact.
But within two minutes, I picked it up again.
Then locked it again.
Then opened it again.
And honestly…
I felt exactly like my old school self once more.
The same overthinking girl.
The same nervous heart.
---
Meanwhile, my roommate was continuously asking questions.
"Who is it?"
"Why are you reacting like this?"
"Tell me properly!"
But instead of explaining everything, I simply smiled awkwardly and replied,
"It's a long story."
And honestly…
it really was.
---
That entire night, sleep refused to come properly again.
I kept staring at the ceiling thinking about life.
How strange destiny can be sometimes.
Just when I had started focusing completely on my present…
the past suddenly reappeared again.
And not only that—
at the same time another person had entered my life too.
Someone kind.
Someone genuine.
Someone who perhaps actually liked me.
Yet somehow…
my heart still reacted differently for a boy who never even stayed.
---
And honestly?
That realization scared me slightly.
Because maybe I had never truly moved on.
Maybe I had only learned how to live while carrying those feelings silently.
---
The next day in college, I tried behaving normally.
But internally, my thoughts were completely distracted.
Even during lectures, my mind randomly drifted toward that profile again and again.
Should I send request?
Should I not?
What if destiny is giving another chance?
Or what if I'm just overthinking once again?
---
Meanwhile, our friend group noticed my unusual silence too.
Normally, I participated in conversations, laughed with everyone, and reacted dramatically during random discussions.
But that day, I stayed quieter than usual.
One of my friends even joked,
"Looks like someone is mentally absent today."
And honestly…
he wasn't wrong.
---
Later during lunch break, while everyone else was talking loudly, I quietly opened Instagram again beneath the desk.
And there it was.
His profile.
Still there.
Still real.
For a few seconds, my thumb hovered near the follow button.
But before I could decide anything…
someone suddenly sat beside me.
I got startled instantly and locked my phone quickly.
And guess who it was?
That senior.
The same one who had feelings for me.
He looked at me for a second and smiled softly.
"You seem stressed these days."
For a moment, guilt hit me again.
Because he genuinely cared.
And yet emotionally, my heart was standing somewhere else entirely.
Somewhere years behind.
---
That conversation stayed in my mind too.
Because suddenly life felt emotionally complicated again.
Past.
Present.
Memories.
New beginnings.
Everything mixing together.🤯
---
That evening after returning to hostel, I finally stood near the window once again holding my phone tightly.
Cool breeze touched my face softly while city lights glowed outside.
And after staring at his profile for almost ten minutes silently…
I finally took a deep breath.
And slowly…
my finger moved toward the follow button once again.
But just before tapping it—
a new notification suddenly appeared on the screen.
And the moment I read it…
my heartbeat stopped completely. 💫