The moment I saw that notification saying my follow request was accepted…I stared at the screen continuously as if my mind needed extra time to process those words.
Accepted.
After all these years.
After so many ignored requests.
After convincing myself that maybe he never even noticed me.
He finally accepted it.
And honestly…
I didn't know whether to smile, cry, panic, or scream.
my heart genuinely forgot how to stay calm.
After years of waiting, overthinking, sending requests, canceling them, and convincing myself to move on…
we were finally connected somehow.
Not close.
Not together.
Not even properly talking.
But still connected.
And honestly, for me, even that felt special.
---
I slowly opened his profile properly.
And honestly?
My heart became softer instantly.
Because even after years, he somehow looked exactly how I had imagined him.
More mature.
More confident.
But still carrying that same calm energy.
The same energy that once made one school girl silently fall for him without even understanding why.
---
I don't know how much time I spent just scrolling quietly.
Looking at random posts.
Old pictures.
Stories highlights.
And smiling at the smallest things like an idiot.
Because maybe some feelings never really disappear.
They only stay silent for some time.
---
Then suddenly reality hit me again.
"What if he accepted accidentally?"
"What if he still doesn't remember me?"
"What if I'm overthinking again?"
And immediately my happiness became nervousness once more.
Classic me.
We followed each other now.
And trust me, the first few days after that felt unreal.
Every time I opened Instagram and saw his account in my following list, a small smile automatically appeared on my face.
Sometimes I randomly opened his profile for no reason.
Sometimes I checked whether he posted anything new.
Sometimes I just stared at his name like an idiot.
And honestly…
I hated how easily my heart still reacted to him after all these years.
---
But surprisingly…
he never messaged me.
Not even once.
And the problem was—
I also didn't have enough courage to message him first.
Every single day, I thought about texting him.
Maybe just a simple "Hi."
Maybe asking about life.
Maybe talking about school memories.
But every time I opened the chat…
fear stopped me.
"What if he replies dryly?"
"What if he's only being polite?"
"What if I'm still the only one emotionally attached?"
So instead of messaging him…
I silently stayed happy with this small connection itself.
---
Meanwhile, life in college continued moving forward too.
And slowly, me and that senior became really good friends.
Not suddenly.
But naturally.
The kind of friendship where comfort builds slowly without forcing anything.
Now we talked regularly in college.
Sometimes during breaks.
Sometimes while walking after lectures.
Sometimes through random messages related to studies that eventually turned into normal conversations.
And honestly…
his presence started becoming comforting.
---
One thing I genuinely appreciated about him was that he understood emotions very deeply.
He noticed small things.
Mood changes.
Silence.
Energy.
Things most people ignore.
Sometimes even when I smiled normally, he somehow understood that something was bothering me internally.
And honestly…
that level of understanding scared me slightly too.
Because not many people had ever understood me that quietly.
---
One evening after classes, both of us were walking through the college campus toward our hostels.
The weather was peaceful that day.
Cool wind.
Soft evening lights.
Students everywhere returning after lectures.
And meanwhile, we both were casually talking about random college things.
Then suddenly…
he became quiet for a few seconds.
And softly asked,
"Did something happen with you?"
I looked at him confused.
Then he continued calmly,
"Sometimes you suddenly become very happy… and sometimes very lost. Like your mind is somewhere else."
For a second, I genuinely froze.
Because nobody had ever described me that accurately before.
---
Then he smiled slightly and said,
"You know you can tell me anything, right? I'll always be your friend."
And honestly…
those words gave me extreme comfort.
Not romantic comfort.
Not dramatic comfort.
Just safe comfort.
The kind that makes you feel understood without needing to explain everything immediately.
---
For a few moments, I stayed completely silent while walking beside him.
Because suddenly…
years of emotions started rushing back inside me.
The school memories.
The waiting.
The silent love.
The heartbreak without even being together.
Everything.
And for the first time in a long while…
I felt like maybe I could finally tell someone all this.
Maybe I didn't have to carry everything alone anymore.
---
That entire walk after that became quieter.
Not awkward.
Just thoughtful.
And somewhere during those silent few minutes…
I made a decision.
I would tell him about my past.
Not because I wanted sympathy.
But because I trusted him.
---
Soon, we reached near my hostel gate.
Before entering, I looked at him and finally said softly,
"Tomorrow… can we go to café again? I want to talk to you about something. About me."
For a second, he looked slightly surprised.
But then immediately nodded calmly.
"Okay. No problem."
Then smiling slightly, he added,
"You just send me the location and timing."
And honestly…
his simple response made me feel even safer.
No unnecessary questions.
No pressure.
Just understanding.
---
Then we both smiled softly and said bye to each other.
And while entering hostel…
for some reason my heart felt strangely emotional.
Because maybe after years…
I was finally ready to open the chapter I had kept hidden from everyone.
---
The moment I reached my room, my roommate immediately started asking questions again.
But this time, I wasn't even properly listening.
Because subconsciously…
my mind had already shifted somewhere else.
Toward my phone.
Toward him.
Again.
---
As soon as I changed clothes and sat on my bed, I instantly opened Instagram.
And honestly…
a small part of me was hoping.
Hoping that maybe today he had finally messaged me first.
Maybe seeing my follow back had reminded him of school too.
Maybe he also wanted to reconnect.
Maybe—
But no.
There was nothing.
No message.
No reaction.
No conversation.
Just silence.
Again.
---
For a few seconds, disappointment quietly settled inside me.
And honestly, I felt stupid too.
Because even after all this time…
I still kept expecting things from someone who had never truly given me certainty.
---
Still…
I couldn't stop myself from opening our empty chat once again.
That blank screen somehow carried so many emotions for me.
So many unsent conversations.
So many imagined moments.
So many years of silent feelings.
---
Meanwhile outside hostel windows, the night had become quieter.
My roommate was already busy on call with someone while I sat silently staring at my screen.
And suddenly…
I started wondering something.
What if I tell the senior everything tomorrow…
and somehow, after hearing my story, he asks me a question I'm not ready to answer?
What if he realizes that even after years…
my heart still belongs somewhere in the past?
And most importantly…
what if destiny is quietly preparing something I still can't understand?
Because little did I know…
the next day's café conversation was about to change far more than just my friendship with him.
And maybe…
for the first time…
someone was finally going to uncover the story I had hidden inside my heart for years. 💫