The moment I opened the notification…
my heartbeat slowed down slightly.
Because it wasn't from him.
It was from that senior.
His message was simple.
Calm.
Respectful.
He had written that he wanted to meet me this weekend if I was free.
That's it.
Nothing dramatic.
Nothing forceful.
Yet somehow seeing that message made me nervous again.
For a few seconds, I kept staring at the screen thinking what to reply.
Honestly, I didn't want to hurt him.
And somewhere I also knew he genuinely wasn't a bad person.
Maybe he only wanted clarity.
Maybe friendship.
Maybe just a normal conversation.
So after thinking for some time…
I finally replied yes.
---
And somehow after saying yes, my overthinking became even worse.
Because now my mind continuously kept wondering—
"What will we talk about?"
"Will it become awkward?"
"What if he indirectly confesses?"
"What if I accidentally hurt him?"
And on top of all this…
my thoughts still kept returning toward that Instagram profile again and again.
I even checked it multiple times during those two days as if I was scared it might disappear once more.
And honestly…
a small part of me really feared that.
Because after waiting so long, seeing that account again had awakened too many emotions inside me.
---
Finally, the weekend arrived.
And trust me…
I was nervous the entire day.
Not because I considered it a date.
No.
But because meeting someone alone for the first time felt different.
Until now, we had only interacted in groups.
With friends around.
With distractions.
But this time it would only be us.
And honestly, that thought itself made me awkward.
---
After getting ready, I stood in front of the hostel mirror for some time.
Simple outfit.
Light makeup.
Nothing too much.
Still, I checked myself multiple times unnecessarily.
Then my roommate suddenly looked at me suspiciously and smiled.
"Someone looks nervous."
Immediately I denied everything.
But obviously she didn't believe me.
---
Soon, I left hostel and walked toward the café near our college where we had decided to meet.
The weather that evening felt strangely calm.
Cool breeze.
Soft sunlight.
Students walking around casually.
And meanwhile my heartbeat refusing to stay normal.
---
When I reached there, he was already waiting.
Wearing a simple black shirt.
Calm expression as always.
The moment he noticed me, he smiled softly and stood up.
And honestly…
his respectful nature was one thing I genuinely appreciated about him.
He never tried acting over-smart.
Never made me uncomfortable.
Never crossed limits.
---
I sat down quietly across from him while trying to control my nervousness.
For a few seconds, both of us smiled awkwardly because neither knew how to properly start the conversation.
Then finally he asked,
"How are classes going?"
And slowly, the conversation started naturally.
--
After some casual college talk, he ordered coffee for both of us.
Meanwhile, I sat there quietly listening while also trying to calm my thoughts.
But honestly?
Even at that moment…
somewhere inside my mind, I was still thinking about that profile.
Wondering whether I should send request again.
Wondering whether destiny was trying to tell me something.
And somehow I hated myself slightly for being mentally distracted while sitting in front of someone genuinely trying to understand me.
---
Then after some silence, he finally spoke softly,
"I don't know why… but I feel like you've been avoiding me lately."
That sentence immediately made me nervous again.
Because he noticed.
Of course he noticed.
---
Then he continued calmly,
"Did I do something wrong? If yes, you can honestly tell me."
The sincerity in his voice made me feel guilty instantly.
Because truly…
he had done nothing wrong.
So I immediately replied,
"No, nothing like that. I was just busy with studies and everything."
Which again wasn't completely false.
But still incomplete truth.
---
For a few seconds, he stayed silent.
Then smiled slightly and said,
"Okay. I thought maybe I accidentally made you uncomfortable."
And honestly…
that line made me respect him even more.
Because instead of becoming angry or dramatic, he simply wanted clarity.
---
Then after some time, he asked softly,
"Can we at least become good friends?"
That question felt simple.
Yet strangely complicated for me.
Because after everything life had taught me…
I had become careful with emotional attachments.
Still, looking at him sitting there sincerely waiting for my answer, I quietly smiled and replied,
"We can try."
And genuinely, I meant it.
Friendship felt safe.
Simple.
Manageable.
At least that's what I thought at that time.
---
After that, the atmosphere became lighter.
We started talking more comfortably.
About MBBS life.
Hostel struggles.
Funny incidents during practicals.
Strict professors.
Future plans.
And honestly, I slowly realized how mature he actually was.
Talking to him felt peaceful.
Not forced.
Not tiring.
Just calm.
---
At one point he even joked,
"You know, juniors usually act terrified around seniors. But you always look like you're silently judging everyone."
Immediately I started laughing.
And for the first time that evening, my nervousness genuinely reduced.
---
Time passed surprisingly fast.
By the time we finished coffee, evening had already become darker outside.
Then we both decided to leave for hostel side.
And honestly…
the walk back became the best part of that meeting.
---
The roads near campus looked beautiful at night.
Streetlights glowing softly.
Cool wind blowing continuously.
Students walking in groups everywhere.
And meanwhile, we kept talking about random things endlessly.
For the first time, I saw a more personal side of him too.
Not just senior version.
But real version.
He talked about pressure in MBBS.
Family expectations.
How difficult medical life sometimes feels.
And strangely…
I related to many things.
---
Then somehow the conversation shifted toward school memories.
And immediately my heart reacted again.
Because every school-related conversation somehow reminded me of him.
Always.
No matter how much time passed.
---
At one point he asked,
"Have you ever liked someone before?"
That question caught me completely off guard.
For a second, I looked away silently.
And honestly…
my mind instantly replayed years of memories again.
The terrace.
Parking area.
Farewell night.
Instagram requests.
Everything.
---
But instead of explaining all that, I simply smiled faintly and replied,
"Maybe."
He looked at me carefully for a second.
Like he understood there was a deeper story hidden behind that one word.
But thankfully, he didn't force me to explain further.
---
And somehow…
that made me feel comfortable again.
Because sometimes the people who respect your silence become easier to trust.
---✨
By the time we reached near hostel gate, it was already quite late.
Before leaving, he smiled softly and said,
"I'm glad you came today."
And honestly…
I was glad too.
Not because of romantic feelings.
But because the awkwardness between us had reduced.
And maybe friendship genuinely was possible after all.
---
After returning to my room, my roommate immediately attacked me with questions.
"How was it?"
"What happened?"
"Did he confess?"
And honestly, her expressions were so dramatic that I started laughing instantly.
Then after explaining everything briefly, I finally lay down on my bed feeling strangely tired mentally.
---
But even after such a long evening…
even after spending hours talking to someone genuinely nice…
my mind still drifted back toward that profile once again.
And without wasting another second, I finally picked up my phone.
Opened Instagram.
Took a deep breath.
And this time…
I actually pressed the follow button.
For a few seconds, I simply stared at the screen silently.
Heart beating fast.
Waiting.
And then suddenly…
a new notification appeared almost immediately.
And the moment I read those words…
my entire body froze. 💫