After grabbing a quick bite to eat, Noggenfogger and his two followers returned to the net cafe opposite the inn.
Hearing the door open, Wayne glanced back and saw the Goblins returning. "This net cafe doesn't offer tours," he said. "If you're not playing, please leave immediately."
Noggenfogger unfastened the pouch on his belt and meticulously pulled out six gold coins. After counting and re-counting them to ensure he hadn't overpaid, he handed them to Wayne. "Give me a chair. I want to try."
Good grief. Wayne could hardly believe his eyes. He looked in astonishment at Noggenfogger, who was as tall standing up as Wayne was sitting down. He wondered if this Goblin had been hit by a carriage or struck by lightning outside, suddenly changing his tune so drastically.
He took the coins, inspected them closely, and gave them a couple of tosses to confirm they were genuine Stormwind Kingdom currency. Then, he pointed to the only remaining empty chair and let Noggenfogger sit. He guided him through putting on the glasses and entering the game.
At this moment, it wasn't just Noggenfogger's two attendants watching; Raymond and the others in the room also stopped their games and turned their heads. After all, this was the first non-human player in the net cafe, and they were all curious to see what a Goblin would look like in the game.
The answer was revealed soon enough. Just like the other players, Noggenfogger appeared in the game world exactly as he was—huge ears, a sharp hooked nose, and a short stature. Everything was identical to the real world, causing the two attendants to widen their eyes in wonder.
Noggenfogger himself kept taking the glasses off and putting them back on, repeating the process to confirm this magical sight. He looked as if he were trying his best to believe what was happening before his eyes.
He now understood that this truly wasn't an illusion, because illusions didn't have a sense of touch. In the game, all five senses were real. He even touched his own face, and the faint sting of a small scar immediately surfaced.
Noggenfogger realized he was experiencing something never seen before.
He followed the quest prompts to complete the introductory tasks, picked up a pair of dual blades, and accepted the novice quest to slay a Velocidrome.
This quest was already familiar to everyone else in the net cafe, but for Noggenfogger and his two attendants, it was a first-time hunting experience.
To be honest, these Goblins had far more combat experience than the soldiers at Westbrook Garrison. Traveling the world for trade meant they frequently encountered emergencies; fighting off bandits and wild beasts was an unavoidable part of the job.
Although most of the time it was their hired muscle—Human pirates, Orc warriors, Troll hunters, or even tall, obese two-headed Ogre mages—who charged in first, the Goblins would personally join the fray when things got desperate.
Wayne could tell that Noggenfogger was a Rogue. Thanks to his small stature, he wasn't easily spotted by monsters as he wove through the jungle, arriving at the swamp where the Velocidrome resided without any obstacles.
But then, a scene unfolded that made everyone in the room burst into laughter.
Wayne had told Noggenfogger when he took the quest that the head crest and tail were the Velocidrome's weak points. But when Noggenfogger appeared behind the Velocidrome to strike, everyone realized the guy was simply too short. He had to jump just to reach the Velocidrome's raised tail...
This meant the effective tactics used by everyone else were completely useless for him. He could only stare at the Velocidrome's feet and attack there.
However, being short had its perks. For tail-swipe attacks that others had to duck or roll to avoid, Noggenfogger—who was already bent low and moving constantly—could dodge them without even lowering his head.
The scene looked like a toddler trying to post up Shaquille O'Neal. Everyone in the room stopped their own games just to see how Noggenfogger's "vertically challenged" body would resolve the battle.
Noggenfogger was indeed agile, but blindly hacking at the feet wasn't a permanent solution. The scales and claws on the Velocidrome's lower legs were very hard, and the damage dealt was limited.
The more he struggled, the more anxious Noggenfogger became. He wondered why this oversized raptor was still jumping around after being hacked for so long.
Everyone else in the room knew that in Monster Hunter, once you got greedy for damage and failed to dodge or reposition, you were one step away from the "cat cart" back to base.
Sure enough, although he wasn't hit by tail swipes, Noggenfogger's lack of evasion led to him being struck several times by the Velocidrome's pouncing claws and bites. His health plummeted instantly.
"Is this thing unkillable?!" he shouted in desperation.
Lyria let out a cold chuckle. "I feel like I've heard those words before."
Laughter erupted from everyone around.
Noggenfogger ran far away to drink a Mega Potion. He was infuriated by their mocking laughter, but he knew that if he gave up now, these people would look down on him even more. He cursed inwardly, wondering what kind of cursed day this was—first being mocked by the crowd at the inn, then by the crowd at the net cafe.
"Then you tell me," he shouted to Wayne, "how am I supposed to fight this?"
Wayne thought for a moment, then looked at him and said, "Go for its 'jujube' (behind/buttocks)."
"Jujube?!"
As soon as those words came out, everyone else in the room voiced their confusion.
"What is a jujube?" Noggenfogger asked.
Jyssetta wondered, "Is it... some patterned part of its body?"
"The Velocidrome has a weak point like a jujube?" Lyria added.
Zaldimar chimed in, "Is it a place on the body that's the color of a jujube?"
Raymond thought to himself, Teacher is truly the Teacher; he indeed has secrets that others don't know!
Wayne looked at the four of them chattering away, and one thought popped into his head: Mental Retardation.
He pointed at the screen and said to Noggenfogger, "Between the two legs, under the tail. If you raise your hand, you can reach it perfectly!"
Noggenfogger's mouth hung open, unable to say a word. His two attendants and the other four had the same expression...
The charm of the word "jujube" lay in the fact that even if one didn't know the slang, as long as they had seen what that part of their own body looked like, they would feel the description was exceptionally fitting.
Noggenfogger did as he was told...
The results were surprisingly good... given his height...
Watching Noggenfogger's dual blades flying while the Velocidrome howled in pain...
As a Priest, Jyssetta remained silent.
Zaldimar thought, I'm a Mage; I'd better focus on using my bowgun for headshots...
Lyria, being a female warrior, felt that this method wasn't a bad idea, but it was truly hard to speak of.
Only Raymond sat there in deep thought, trying to figure out how to connect his demonic spells with this brutal style of combat...
Before long, the Velocidrome, bleeding profusely, collapsed completely. Noggenfogger had achieved his first kill.
However, none of them had expected that this was an incredibly realistic virtual reality experience. Aside from pain—which could be disabled through settings—all other senses were no different from real life.
The world-traveling Goblin currently felt a nauseating odor lingering on his hands and the tip of his nose. Besides blood, his dual blades were covered in mixed brown substances...
He could only take off his glasses under the pretext of resting to breathe some fresh Goldshire air. Just then, his attendant handed him a water bottle. He immediately took it and opened the cap, letting a fragrant scent waft out.
"He wouldn't be drinking..." Lyria whispered.
Zaldimar swallowed hard. "The kind Rogues always keep on them..."
"The tea that recovers a bit of energy when drunk?" Raymond added.
Noggenfogger heard their whispers and looked at the yellow and white flowers steeping in the water inside his bottle. He felt his entire being turn sour.