Noggenfogger had taken off the glasses, but seeing the word "jujube" again made the earlier nausea surge back.
Yet, on the flip side was an incomparable sense of excitement and thrill from slaying a monster. After all, this was just a game; it lacked the life-or-death peril he faced when encountering bandits on his trade routes.
Completing the mission also bumped his game account to LV2. Though slight, the very real feeling of a small boost in combat strength made him fully realize that the stories he'd heard at the Lion's Pride Inn weren't nonsense—the Marshal really was sending his soldiers here to train.
While he had never seen the fabled Dalaran Academy of Magic—an esteemed place where elementals could be conjured for apprentices to practice and where many Great Archmages were forged—this net cafe seemed to him like a legend turned into reality.
What filled his mind now, besides waiting for the foul smell to pass so he could dive back in, was how to take this magical treasure for his own. Whether through clever schemes or outright force, if a Goblin saw something that could make money, they had to find a way to get their hands on it.
Seeing that the Goblin had gotten the hang of it, the others in the shop returned to their seats to continue their own games.
Noggenfogger waited a short while until his in-game avatar was transported back to Kokoto Village and the stench vanished from his body before putting the glasses back on.
However, not long after he finished the quest to slay a Yian Kut-Ku using the same "anus-poking" method, his one hour of game time expired. A line of text appeared before his eyes: [Purchased game time has expired. Please renew.]
He took off the glasses and had the attendant sitting behind him pull out another gold coin for Wayne.
Wayne was genuinely impressed. Since the net cafe opened, this was the first time he'd met a customer who paid hour by hour. Although he knew Goblins were stingy and miserly from playing World of Warcraft, it wasn't until he crossed over that he realized just how extreme their penny-pinching could be.
Having paid, Noggenfogger continued his tasks, but his mind was no longer just on hunting and leveling up. He set aside the dual blades and began trying out other weapons. He went through the sword and shield, greatsword, hammer, light bowgun, and heavy bowgun one by one. Each time he tried a new weapon, his thought wasn't "How fast can this kill?" but rather "If I manufactured this, would it sell well?"
But this brought a problem. After resolving the relatively easy Velocidrome, Yian Kut-Ku, and Cephadrome, he suffered miserably when facing the Diablos.
By this time, three hours had passed. He had renewed his time twice more, each time having his attendant hand over exactly one gold coin.
Wayne, feeling hungry, ordered takeout from the inn. Raymond and the others followed suit. Once the inn assistant, Milly, delivered the food, they logged out and sat in their chairs to eat while watching Noggenfogger play.
Compared to the small-to-medium-sized Yian Kut-Ku, the Diablos was a truly large monster. Its height—frequently exceeding four meters—meant Noggenfogger couldn't even reach its knees. This time, even the "jujube tactic" Wayne taught him was useless.
Furthermore, being unfamiliar with the Diablos's attack patterns, Wayne witnessed a first since the cafe's opening: someone dying five times in the span of a single meal. Noggenfogger even pioneered a new way to die—being crushed to death by the monster's belly.
Eating his meal, Wayne couldn't help but comment: "Other people come here to see who can progress the fastest; he's here to deliver takeout."
Raymond was confused. "Deliver takeout?"
Wayne chuckled. "Everyone else is rushing to kill the monster; he's rushing to see if he can make the monster die of overeating."
"Hahaha!"
Laughter erupted in the room, and even Noggenfogger's two guards couldn't help but smirk.
Overwhelmed by a massive sense of frustration, Noggenfogger cursed loudly: "Dammit! This thing is fundamentally impossible to kill!"
"Here we go again..." Lyria muttered.
He snatched off the glasses and pointed a finger at Wayne. "Refund my money!"
Wayne tapped the third rule on the wooden sign: [Pay before you play. No refunds once payment is received.]
"Profiteer!" Noggenfogger barked.
"It's just because you're bad, okay?" Wayne countered. "You're short but agile; you should be using a bowgun for ranged attacks."
Noggenfogger knew the truth in his heart. Among Goblins, there was a phrase they took great pride in: "Goblin technology, mind-blowing." Being particularly skilled in developing cannons and explosives, they had a natural advantage when it came to handling firearms.
However, having traveled all the way to Stormwind with two attendants, Noggenfogger was here to discuss a major deal with a high-ranking Countess. He didn't have much time to linger.
Yet, the degree of surprise Wayne's net cafe brought him far exceeded his expectations. Bombs and firearms were Goblin specialties, but they weren't the only ones in the world developing munitions. Gnomes, also masters of invention, and some studious humans weren't far behind in that field.
The best environment for selling weapons was a continuous war between the Alliance and the Horde. But total chaos was more harmful than beneficial to Goblin trade routes and living conditions. Thus, they preferred conflicts to stay at a smaller scale—enough to keep the money flowing without affecting their quality of life. Deeply versed in the path of balance, they would even privately provide support to the weaker side to help turn the tide of battle.
But today, in Goldshire, at Wayne's net cafe, Noggenfogger discovered a true business opportunity—this goggle-like gaming device he had never seen or heard of before.
This was a unique, world-changing magical item that could redraw the commercial map! Even if Wayne had opened this one shop in Goldshire, once Noggenfogger got his hands on these goggles, he could immediately rush back to the other continent and use his vast capital to open countless identical cafes!
At that point, all the dignitaries and high-society elites would become his customers.
However, given the cunning of Goblins, once they set their sights on something, they had to hide their admiration and even express a bit of disgust to drive the price down as much as possible during negotiations.
He threw down the glasses and shouted, "I'm done! I'm done! You can't beat this at all!"
Wayne was actually a bit disappointed. Goblins were famously wealthy; he'd thought he'd hooked a big fish today. He hadn't expected this famous Goblin's resilience to be so poor.
Lyria, having finished her food, wiped her mouth. "Since when was dragon-slaying supposed to be easy? You're screaming like a little girl."
Noggenfogger fired back, "You live nearby; you can play and practice every day. We only get to visit once in a while; we don't have time to stay soaked in here."
"That's your problem. What's it got to do with us?" Lyria replied before ignoring him, putting her glasses back on, and returning to the game.
Seeing Noggenfogger looking like he was about to cause trouble, Wayne asked, "So, what do you want?"
"Just because I can't beat it doesn't mean all Goblins can't," Noggenfogger blustered. "Within our Steamwheedle Cartel, there are incredibly powerful warriors!"
"Fine then," Wayne said. "Bring them here. As long as they pay, they can play anytime."
"Bah! You think we're like you? Idling all day? Our caravans have to rush all over the world; everyone has their own schedule and routes." He took a step forward, acting aggressively. "If you don't refund my money today, I'll have our caravans tell the whole world that you're a profiteer! No Goblin will ever spend a copper in your shop again!"
The others in the shop could see the Goblin was just being a nuisance. Raymond stood up, wanting to drive these greedy runts away on behalf of his respected Teacher.
Wayne reached out to stop him. He figured it wasn't worth offending the entire Goblin world over one person. He asked, "What do you really want? Speak up. A Goblin wouldn't go through all this trouble for a mere 9 gold."
Anger flashed on Noggenfogger's face while he smirked inwardly. "How about this! Compensate me with one of these piece-of-crap devices. I'll forget about the 9 gold as compensation."
Wayne let out a cold laugh. "Heh, even if I gave this to you, you couldn't use it."
Wayne was telling the truth. The glasses were linked to the vending machine's network. Forget another continent—the device wouldn't even work if it left the room.
But at this moment, Noggenfogger was a victim of his own merchant mindset. He was used to the idea of a seller hoarding rare goods. Having seen countless treasures in his travels, he knew a seller would never easily part with a rare prize. Thus, Wayne's words sounded like a classic "playing hard to get" sales tactic.
"Pah! Don't think your trickery is so special. Is there anything in this world a Goblin can't use?" If this weren't a human town, he would have added his usual "Stupid Humans."
Wayne pointed at the glasses. "I'm speaking Plain Common. Even if you take this, it won't work. It only works here. Do you understand?"
Noggenfogger only felt insulted. He widened his eyes. "And I'm telling you: if you can use it, I can use it!"
Wayne looked Noggenfogger up and down. Seeing he didn't look like he was joking—and since this was his first time dealing with Goblins—he had to confirm if the Goblin was serious. "You really want one?"
Noggenfogger put on a face of disdain. "I don't care for this toy made for tricking children. Time is money; playing this is just a waste of my time. But I want to take one back to show you the strength of our Goblin warriors!"
Wayne knew this was all rubbish. Goblins only had eyes for money; Noggenfogger's only goal was to take a pair of glasses and use them to turn a profit. But still fearing Noggenfogger might be playing some trick, he repeated for the third time: "I'll say it once more: this thing won't open once it leaves me."
However, this only intensified Noggenfogger's greed. "Our kin once said that the great Goblin technology could never be mastered by any other race once it left our towns. But look at things now! Those barbaric Orcs, who originally only knew how to kill, learned how to operate the machines and bombs we sold them with the help of... other cartels. They've even established regular zeppelin routes in Orgrimmar. That's top-tier transportation that even Humans don't have."
"May the Holy Light deceive you," Wayne muttered to himself, watching Noggenfogger spit as he talked. He spoke quickly, so to the bystanders, it still sounded like the common blessing: "May the Holy Light protect you."
Wayne thought that since Noggenfogger was so determined to dig his own grave, he might as well help bury him. He'd told him the truth several times and the Goblin didn't believe it—at this point, it couldn't even be called "deceiving." Besides, Wayne really needed the money to complete the vending machine's task.
He picked up the glasses, gave them a shake, and said, "Giving it to you for free is impossible. But I can sell you one."
Noggenfogger feigned deep thought and then asked, "How much? Don't you think about overcharging me."
Wayne held up one finger and quoted a price: "1,000 gold."