Broken people don't really need comforting words.
They need revenge.
And maybe enough money to stop the bleeding inside them, at least for a little while.
After that night with Taki, I became colder. More distant. Like whatever little good was left inside me had died again.
Everything I was trying to build collapsed in a single night.
And instead of escaping that life…
I wanted to fall even deeper into it.
Because at least there, I knew the rules of the game.
I knew how to seduce people. How to make them believe they meant everything to me. How to make them attached to me… and then disappear.
But honestly…
more than anything, I wanted revenge.
On Taki.
I wanted him to hurt. I wanted to destroy his life the same way he was slowly destroying mine.
I started digging deeper into who he really was.
What he did for a living. Where he went out. Who his friends were. What kind of family he had.
Little by little…
I learned almost everything.
And then I did something I probably shouldn't have done.
I added his brother on Instagram.
We started talking. Nothing special. But enough to get closer.
Of course…
Taki found out immediately.
The messages started coming that same night.
"How do you know him?"
"Why are you talking to my brother?"
For the first time since I met him, I could feel fear in his messages.
And honestly…
I enjoyed it.
It felt like I finally had some power over him.
I answered calmly. Innocently.
"We randomly met at a café. Nothing special. Is there a problem?"
He replied instantly:
"Don't you dare say anything to him."
Then another message came:
"I'll beat you so badly not even a hospital will save you."
He was threatening me.
But for the first time…
I wasn't scared.
It was almost funny to me.
Because for the first time, I realized HE was the one who was afraid.
"Relax," I replied. "I'm not stupid enough to get myself into problems."
I paused for a few seconds.
Then added:
"But you never know… maybe one day he'll see our video."
He started typing immediately.
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
"That was deleted a long time ago!"
"You're insane."
"You're sick."
I leaned back and started laughing.
"Okay, okay… I'm joking. Relax."
"Hahaha."
While doing all of this, I felt something strange inside me.
Like his panic was feeding me.
Like I enjoyed watching him break from the inside.
But at the same time…
something inside me whispered quietly:
You're becoming just like him.
Maybe even worse.
Meanwhile, the curly-haired girl kept texting me.
Calling me. Asking to see me.
I answered her…
but less honestly each time.
She started asking questions I didn't want to hear.
"What's wrong with you?"
"What are you hiding?"
"Why are you acting so strange?"
"Who are all those people on your Instagram?"
"Can I see your phone?"
And then she said something that hit me hard:
"It feels like you're full of secrets."
Silence filled the space between us.
She looked at me like she was trying to solve a puzzle made from my lies.
And I kept looking away.
Because I knew:
the more she got to know me, the less she would be able to love me.
That's when I realized something.
I'm not ready for someone to love me that deeply.
Because what she could discover about me…
could destroy me.
I looked at her and quietly said:
"Stop overthinking. Don't dig. Don't search."
"Sometimes the truth is worse than lies."
"One word can ruin everything, and a hundred others will never fix it again."
"My lips stay silent. Take it or leave it."
She looked at me, confused.
But I couldn't stop.
"You're fighting against yourself."
"You want to know if I've ever loved someone the way I love you…"
I laughed bitterly.
"Of course I haven't."
I paused for a moment.
Then added more quietly:
"Don't ask me again… I might admit something I'm not supposed to."
She looked disappointed.
But honestly…
who in my life haven't I disappointed?
Maybe the problem was never the people I met.
Maybe I was the problem from the very beginning.
Because no matter how good something is…
I always end up destroying it.
And maybe the truth is simple:
once a sinner…
always a sinner.