I have always carried a strange little dream inside my mind. Perhaps "dream" is not even the right word. Maybe obsession fits better. Maybe fascination, or better to say a Fetisch. I never cared much about naming it anyway.
What I know for certain is this: I have always been drawn to femboys. Not real ones in everyday life. I do not consider myself gay, at least not in the way people usually mean it. Yet whenever I encounter a femboy character in manga or anime or a Hentai, something about them catches my attention instantly.
It is especially true for those characters who blur the line between hero and beauty. The ones with soft features, long hair, or maybe the kind of small Tomboy kinds of hair, and a graceful appearance that could almost make anyone mistake them for a girl at first glance. There is something strangely captivating about that delicate balance, that mixture of strength and elegance.
And every time I see a character like that on the page, I feel the same spark of excitement stirring somewhere deep inside me, I hate to say it but, i feel horny, too much that i Couldn't get aroused from females, at least not as much as Femboys.
— ding, ding.
The sharp sound of knocking pulls me out of my thoughts.
With a quiet sigh, I slowly rise from the couch, stretching my arms before dragging my feet across the floor. I am wearing my usual outfit: black oversized shorts and a plain white T-shirt. Most people would probably think I wear the same clothes every day.
Not that I give a damn about what people think.
Still, the truth is simpler than that. I just own five identical pairs. Easy to wear, cheap, comfortable. No thinking required in the morning.
I shuffle lazily toward the door.
It has been a long time since someone knocked on it. I do not have friends, and my family lives abroad. Come to think of it… the last real conversation I had with someone was probably back in high school. 7 years ago.
I do remember what a bright and stupid kid i was back then. before i confessed my fantasy to someone, Before that incident.
Step by step, I approach the door, A strange sensation spreads through my chest. Anxiety, maybe. Or something close to it. A faint twitching feeling under my ribs, i do not know what to call it.
But one thing is certain.
It is not a pleasant feeling.
Just as I opened the door, a blinding light burst into my eyes.
Instinctively, I threw my wrist over my face, squeezing my eyes shut as the brightness washed over me. For a moment, I assumed it was just the sunlight. After all, I had been sitting in my dim room for days, barely letting a single ray in.
But then something felt… wrong.
A sudden coldness slipped through my body like a thin thread of ice, crawling from my spine to the tips of my fingers. My muscles stiffened. My legs weakened. Numbness followed instantly.
And then the light began to fade.
Not gently. Not naturally.
It was as if something darker was swallowing it whole.
The brightness that had filled my vision moments ago began to collapse into shadows, the darkness spreading wider and wider until it consumed everything.
Me with it.