There I was, surfing the internet, reading stories, and playing games. Ya know? The average Introverted nerd experience! Then as one tends to do when hyped up on coffee and angst, you generally crash after a while and fall asleep. Super normal day right?
Until it wasn't. You see, I live alone in my small apartment in the good old USA, location middle of knowwhere. If I had to say, the plus is that there is lots of space to not need to interact with others. The minus is that I live in a small town, where the more expensive and modern things require you to leave home and travel about an hour or two.
With a nice and tidy inheritance, and doing drafting and design work from home, I never quite needed to leave much to interact with the common scrubs that don't know the glory of a good book and an awesome game.That right neighbors and people! The Blueprints that your family used for their dream home or weird gazebo have a high non zero chance that yours truly helped in the making of it with clear and precise directions. Unless it fell apart, in which I had no part in the disaster. Sorry Greg it wasn't me that left you buried in the family garden I'm sure. Next time dont park your car in my lane!
But to stop avoiding my new and improved trauma, one that I have a hard time repressing and didn't even have to go to school to get it!. Take that mean kid growing up! You are no longer special in my trauma folder. In fact, you can't compare to this one because it really boggles the mind.
Any who, as i was saying, books, games, anxiety, sleepy time Just a normal tuesday, until the universe developed a personality.
And that personality was delighted.
Obviously sleep me was doing what sleep me does. Fighting ninjas as one does occasionally in dream land. When the dream started to ripple with white lines, interrupting my awesome ninja battle. (it wasn't awesome)
The space around me turned a white like nothing existed in the space except me. All my sense which up until that point were in weird dream mode, snapped into startling clarity. I could instinctively tell this was no longer just a dream, but something more. After a moment of contemplation of the great empty around me, I remained the only thing. Until it wasn't just me. The being appeared next to me in but a moment and I have to say, weird light beings are weird and hard to look at!
I blinked once.
Twice.
Then the being turned into a tiny cartoon sun wearing sunglasses.
I frowned.
" This is weird."
The sun winked.
"Hi!" it said cheerfully. "Don't panic"
"I'm panicking," I said automatically.
"Oh! Sorry! Tone adjustment."
The sun's sunglasses vanished. It now wore a tiny bow tie.
"Is this better?"
I slowly reach over and pinched my arm to hopefully wake from whatever this was now.
"Oh, that won't help," the sun said pleasantly. "This isn't technically just a dream anymore. I'm just using it as a medium. And very cute ninja fight, by the way. Efficient little mind you've got."
I froze in shock.
"…I'm hallucinating."
"In a dream?!" It asked.
The Sun waved its cartoon arms to the side and a window opened showing myself, asleep at my desk, the last chapter of Yuna the ice goddesses adventure in naruto still open with my lofi beats still playing in the background. After a few moments of my shocked contemplation passed, it closed the window, bringing the being back into focus.
"There," the sun said brightly. "Much quieter. I find first conversations go better without background entropy."
I swallowed. "Who are you?"
"Little old me?" the sun questioned while it patronizingly placed its hand underneath its face
"Why im your bang for a buck R.O.B of course!" The now identified R.O.B exclaimed.
There was a beat.
"Am I dead then?." I asked, both tired and worried. Who will feed Sir Popington, my cat!
The being waved its hands in a negative way. "Not any more than the average corporate worker" It stated, which wasn't as comforting as it probably thought it was. Then again, the sun's smirk did widen after that thought.
"…Okay."
"Great!" the sun beamed. "Acceptance phase already. You're ahead of schedule." It shoots me a double thumbs up.
"Soooooo." I called out, waving my clasped hands up and down. "Why the sun avatar?"
The being explained that it—who could have appeared as anything—had chosen a cheerful cartoon sun because it enjoyed aesthetics.
It did not require form. It did not require speech. It did not require time. But it did enjoy novelty.
And earth has been wonderfully consistent for a very long while.
No magic. No miracles. Just tidy little laws humming along. Gravity doing its thing. Thermodynamics being dependable. Probability behaving.
Adorable.
It wanted to see what would happen if one human were given a gentle exception.
Nothing catastrophic immediately.
Just… interesting.
After reviewing several billion candidates, it selected me.
Low social entanglement. Moderate intelligence. Mild anxiety. Strong imaginative capacity suppressed by routine.
Very promising.
"Why me?" I asked faintly.
"Because you're convenient!" the sun chirped.
"That's not reassuring."
"You have a minimal disruption radius. If you disappeared for a week, only automated billing systems would complain."
"…Wow."
"It's not an insult! It's a feature."
I immediately drag my hand down my face. "I'm dreaming."
"Nope. You're fully conscious. I even paused external time to increase the possibility of causing you trauma. You're welcome."
"Okay," I whispered. "If you're a R.O.B… what do you want if im not dead?"
The sun rotated lazily. "I want to try something."
My internal screaming picks up the pace "Yup, that's going right in the trauma folder." I state.
The being laughed—a sound like warm wind chimes. "I'd like to give you abilities." it claimed
"Hmm, can I ask why?" I asked
The answer came instantly.
The sun brightened slightly. "Look, the universe here has been extremely stable. No supernatural variables. Very orderly. I thought it might be delightful to introduce an anomaly. Plus R.O.B's are always reincarnating dead candidates. I wanted to try affecting a reality where the soul is already from there for once!"
"You mean me."
"Yes!"
"Why me?" I asked.
The sun's voice softened—not less cheerful, but gentler.
"Because it's interesting. And because you won't immediately try to conquer a continent and force people into a harem."
"…That was the go to for people?"
"For many candidates."
Well, I wouldn't be myself, if i didnt accept eldreich power and knowledge from an unknowable being. " Alright, then, let's do it then. Is this the part where you offer me three wishes?" I inquired.
"Nope! Since I'm trying something new, and you don't have to start off at the beginning again, I decided to just give you an interesting power that you can experiment and even grow with. And don't worry, the power I'm giving you very well might elevate you to become a being of my standing one day!" The R.O.B exclaimed while bouncing around the white void around us.
"You talk big game. Alright, lay it on me, what's the power you've chosen for me?" I ask
R.O.B starts to vibrate excitedly and proudly proclaims, "The power I've got in store for you is one of infinite potential, if only limitations born of your weakness and imagination! The power I speak of is a fun application of the dream authority. You should be able to figure out the ins and outs of the ability and how it works when ya wake! See ya!"
"Wait wha….." I tried to ask, until I remembered no more and returned to my ninja battle dream. The next conscious thing I know, it's already mid morning, with drool on my keyboard and sunlight invading my room.
As I come to terms with my new absurdities, Far beyond space and time, the cheerful R.O.B kicked its metaphorical feet with delight.
The universe had just gained the smallest possible wrinkle.
And it was going to be wonderful.