I am utterly useless.
At 5, I was wondering why the kids at the playground avoided me.
At 10, I was wondering why the boys and girls at school would group together to 'mess' with me.
At 14, I was wondering why I was a stranger to my family.
At 16, I was wondering why my very existence is a laughing matter to everyone at school.
And now, at 20, I see everybody walking bravely through life, and I wonder where I went wrong.
Sorry for the rude introduction, my name's Jimmy.
The hum of the office I worked at always made me feel like I was losing my damn mind. I sat there, hunched over my desk, trying to make my breathing as quiet as possible. If I was quiet, maybe I wouldn't exist, and if I didn't exist, I couldn't break anything.
Okay, okay, enough guilt tripping from me.
I was staring at a spreadsheet for forty minutes. I had entered around 20 numbers, and I kept clicking the same cell, over and over, because I was afraid if I typed something, the whole system would crash. It had happened 6 times already that week, and it was only a wednesday.
"Jimmy, you got those files?"
I flinched hard. I know, it's embarrassing. My knee hit the underside of the desk. It was Miller. He was my co-worker, and he had a desk beside me. He had a look on his face. The one that said he was already annoyed that he had to talk to me.
"I'm just...I'm double-checking, Miller. Sorry. Almost done." I said. I tried to give him a reassuring nod, but I think I just looked like I was having a neck cramp. Miller rolled his eyes and turned back to his desk.
I reached for my coffee. I didn't even need the caffeine, I just needed something to do with my hands so I wouldn't look too twitchy. But as I pulled the mug toward me, the bottom caught on a loose staple.
It happened in a messy, frantic blur. The mug tipped, the brown liquid poured over the rim, splashing directly into the vents of Miller's $100 mechanical keyboard.
The lights under his keys flickered red, then went dark.
"Oh..." I whispered. My throat felt like it had collapsed. "Oh no. Miller, I...I have wipes. I have..."
I grabbed a handful of cheap paper towels and started frantically dabbing at his F keys. I was shaking so hard I ended up just pushing the coffee deeper into the switches.
"Get away from it." Miller said. His voice was flat. "Just...move, Jimmy. Don't touch anything else."
The manager came over, and everyone was watching. I just stood there, clutching a bunch of wet, brown paper towels, feeling the heat rise into my face until my soul felt like it was on fire. I didn't defend myself. I didn't even explain. I just kept saying "sorry" until the word didn't even sound like English anymore.
I ended up getting a formal warning again.
By the time I got home to my studio, I was done. I didn't even turn on the lights. I just crawled onto my dirty bed, still wearing my work pants, and stared at the ceiling. My room smelt horrible.
I checked my phone and sent a message to the Discord group. In it there were four guys I'd met in an old video game who were basically my only friends.
Jimmy: guys, I think I'm actually cursed, I spilled coffee on miller's board today. pretty sure I'm getting fired soon. i hate this shitty ass job
No one replied. One of them was on, but he didn't type. I didn't blame them. Who wants to deal with the guy who's always apologizing for being a loser?
I scrolled through a Webnovel on my phone. The main character had just found a legendary sword in a dumpster. Of course he did.
I stared at the screen, a weird feeling in my chest. I didn't want a sword, I just wanted something to happen. I wanted a reason to be more than the guy at home scrolling. I wanted to be useful. Just once.
I noticed a weird headline in the sidebar of the news app. There were "Unexplained Atmospheric Disturbances Over Major Cities."
I clicked it, but the page wouldn't load. The 5G signal on my phone dropped to a single, flickering bar. Then the lights in my apartment died. Everything went pitch black.
I sat up, my heart starting that familiar, uncomfortable thud. Outside, the city sounds had changed. The distant roar of traffic had been replaced by real, honest to god screams that made me sick.
I went back to Discord. The bars were gone. I typed anyway.
Jimmy: hey, the power is out. people are screaming outside. is this happening for you guys?
Message failed to send. Click to retry.
I tried again.
Jimmy: guyssssssssss? answer me please
It failed to send.
I felt a cold sweat prickling at my hairline. I should go out there, I thought. I should check on Mrs. Gable next door. She's eighty, and is probably scared.
But I just sat on the edge of my bed, staring at the door. I was too scared to move. I was terrified of what I might see if I opened that door. So, like a coward, I crawled back under the covers. I pulled the blanket over my head, curled into a ball, and waited for the world to start making sense again.
I drifted off.
The next thing I knew, the air changed.
There was a pressure. Like the air was being sucked out of the room. Then came there came a screech. It was like a sound of structural steel being twisted and snapped like dry twigs.
I opened my eyes, my heart beating faster than it ever had before, and looked up.
The roof was gone.
My ceiling, the water-stained drywall, the insulation...All of it had been peeled back like the lid of a sardine can. I could see the evening sky, but it wasn't the sky I knew. It was a horrifying, pulsing violet color.
And then, a red light appeared. Floating right in front of my face. It was a blank square. Text started to fade in.
[Integration Beginning.]
I blinked, wondering if I was finally having the breakdown everyone at the office expected me to have. My eyes widened. I gripped tightly onto the sheets.
[Monsters Ranked 1–8 Deployed.]
[ERROR-43.929193.940.359.63-3.311.3]
The whole building trembled with a huge, damp thud. The edge of my former wall was slammed by a limb the size of a city bus. It was leathery and grey, with pulsing veins that radiated a faint, sickening light.
Then, a head moved into view.
It had no face. Only a huge, vertical slit that opened to show rows of teeth as thin as needles, dripping a viscous black sludge. One drop of the gunk landed on my duvet. It hissed, quickly tearing through the mattress and the fabric.
I refrained from screaming. I couldn't do that because my throat was too tight. I simply wheezed a little pitifully.
"Not...Today..."
My apartment's floor began to tilt as the thing shifted its enormous weight. My books fell to the floor after my bookshelf fell over.
I stumbled back, toppled off the bed, and landed hard on the floor. I had jelly-like legs. I was having trouble breathing. I was unable to think. The monster above let out a low, vibrating growl that shook my bones as I lunged for the door out of my room, stumbling over my own feet.
I wasn't a hero. I was just Jimmy. And I was sprinting in my socks.