"Stop looking at me with those 'Hrmmm' eyes, you long-nosed Bitches!" I yelled, tossing a single Poppy at the surviving Villagers. "It was an engineering mishap! tum, tell them! I was trying to save them from the Raid! I just happened to delete their Library and the local Priest in the process! It's called 'Collateral Damage,' look it up!"
Aizen was staring down the Village Well. "The spiritual pressure—or rather, the 'Level Data'—is concentrated beneath this water source. There is a labyrinthine structure below. I can feel the presence of a portal... and someone who is very, very lost."
"That'll be Zoro," I sighed, checking my inventory. I had three loaves of bread, a wooden sword, and a bucket of water. "He probably tried to find the blacksmith and ended up in a different chunk entirely. tum, grab your pickaxe! We're going diving!"
The Descent into the Stronghold
We jumped down the well. Splash. Instead of a bottom, we hit a mossy stone-brick floor. We were in the Stronghold. It was dark, damp, and smelled like Silverfish and 8-bit mildew.
Goku: Was punching the torches off the walls because he liked the "pop" sound they made. "Hey! If we find the Big Dragon, can I eat it? I bet Ender Dragon meat tastes like purple jerky!"
Muzan: Was hissing at the Spiders dangling from the ceiling. "This place is filthy! Why are there cobwebs everywhere? Is there no janitor in this digital hellscape?!"
Saitama: Was just walking behind us, staring at a Silverfish. "It's so small. Can I just... step on it?"
The Library Encounter
We rounded a corner and stumbled into a massive, two-story Library. The shelves were full of "Enchanted Books," and in the middle of a pile of shredded paper sat Roronoa Zoro.
He was holding a Diamond Sword in his mouth and two in his hands. He looked remarkably frustrated.
"ABOUT TIME!" Zoro roared, his voice muffled by the diamond hilt. "I've been in this room for three hours! I tried to find the exit, but the hallways keep changing! I think this building is enchanted to make people walk in circles!"
"Zoro, you idiot!" I yelled. "The hallway is right there! You literally dug a 1x1 hole into a wall and labeled it 'Short Cut'! You're in a library! tum, look at him. He's got the navigation skills of a blind roomba!"
The Portal Room
We dragged Zoro through the corridors until we reached the End Portal Room. The silverfish spawner was hissing, and the twelve stone frames were sitting over a pool of lava. Only three of them had Eyes of Ender in them.
"Okay, team," I said, looking at the empty sockets. "We need nine more eyes. That means we need to kill some Endermen, or we need to trade with that one creepy Villager I didn't blow up. Or..."
I looked at Aizen. His eyes were glowing.
"Or," Aizen smiled, his pixelated hairpiece fluttering. "We could simply 'glitch' the system. Why play by the rules when I can simply rewrite the world's 'JSON' file?"
"Don't do it, Sparkles!" I screamed. "If you corrupt the save file, tum and I are gonna be stuck in a loading screen forever!"