"So, in conclusion... that is how I feel about you."
"I recall those being nothing but dangerous red flags... but fine. I understand. I understand that you truly have feelings for me, Senior."
"Then, please sign this marriage registration form."
"Yes... wait, no! I told you I'm not doing it!"
"Tsk... I should have shaken your mental state a bit more..."
"Don't click your tongue at me!"
This woman was being way too obvious about it! Did she just stop caring because everything was out in the open now?!
In any case, for my own sake, for my family's sake, and even for Senior Mei's sake, I had to be blunt.
"I have a wife and a daughter whom I love dearly. I appreciate your feelings, but please, give up."
"I'm not exactly asking for an illicit affair, you know? I'm simply asking to be included within the circle of your family."
"The rest of the world calls that an affair... No, fine, even if we're in Schicksal and rules are different, it's impossible anyway. Even if I were to agree, it doesn't matter unless my wife gives her permission, right?"
"In other words, it's fine as long as Bronya gives her permission?"
"Which is why you should just gi—wait, what?"
As I struggled to find my words, Senior Mei pulled a portable display device from her coat and placed it on the table.
With a hum of Honkai energy, a holographic screen flickered to life in the air, projecting two figures into my field of vision.
One was the Senior Mei standing right in front of me, and the other was someone I knew all too well.
[Big Sis Mei, have you brought the items we discussed?]
[Of course, Bronya.]
It was my wife.
I recognized that look—it was from before we were married, even before we had started dating.
I knew because she only stopped wearing those characteristic drill-shaped twin tails after we officially became a couple.
[Here is the promised item. Fresh from the production line.]
[Th-this is...]
[Yes. This is the dakimakura you requested.]
[Hoo... So this is the legendary item that has now become a premium limited edition.]
[I think you're the only one who considers it 'premium,' Bronya.]
I felt a wave of complicated emotions watching my wife tightly embrace the body pillow of... well, me.
Wait, that image... I remember that. It was from a school festival where I lost a penalty game and was forced to cover my entire body in HOMU merchandise.
A HOMU shirt, HOMU pants, HOMU bracelets, necklaces, a headband, and even HOMU shoes... I was a walking advertisement for that mascot. I remember being embarrassingly popular with the kids that day.
Wait, back up. 'Premium limited edition'? Does that mean more than one was made?
Actually, now that I think about it, Senior Mei mentioned earlier that they were popular with other people too.
So maybe it's not that strange—no, wait, it's definitely strange! It's incredibly weird!
More importantly, why is there a premium market for illicit goods?!
And why on earth would people actually pay money to get their hands on a body pillow of *me*?!
When I shot her a look demanding answers, Senior Mei simply smiled.
"Do you want me to tell you who bought them?"
I shook my head violently.
"No. I'm good."
The truth was too terrifying.
Seeing a side of my wife I never knew was shocking enough, but if I found out that people I actually know were among the buyers, I think my soul would leave my body.
I didn't want my perception of the people around me to be ruined any further.
It wasn't too late. Not yet.
Sure, my image of two people had already been shattered, but I could still salvage the rest.
The problem was that those two people were the most important and second most important women in my life.
The very pillars of my existence were crumbling, but it was fine. For now...
[Regardless, thank you for your help. So, Bronya... you remember our promise?]
[Yes, of course. If The Bronya becomes the primary wife, The Bronya shall accept Big Sis Mei as the secondary wife.]
[Good. Then you must not forget that promise, okay?]
[The Bronya will not forget.]
The video ended with my wife nuzzling her face into the dakimakura with a look of pure, unadulterated bliss.
However, I saw it.
Just before the screen cut to black, Senior Mei looked at my wife with an expression that screamed, 'All according to plan'—looking exactly like a certain genius protagonist from an old anime.
And then, the real Senior Mei sitting across from me suddenly put on a look of feigned clumsiness, as if she had made a mistake.
...That *was* a mistake, right?
Somehow, that final expression of hers was burned into my mind even more vividly than the shocking behavior of my wife.
"Did you enjoy the show?"
"Yes... that was a very... smu— I mean, that was quite the sight, seeing my wife so obsessed with a body pillow of me. It certainly left an impression."
"I'm glad. That means you understand the significance of the footage. Now, since we have Bronya's permission, let's get your signature right here—"
"...I'm not doing it."
"You're quite persistent in your refusal."
"That's my line. Besides, why are you so insistent on marrying a man who's already taken? If we do this, I can't make you my top priority... and someone of your stature could easily find a much better partner than me."
"I honestly don't mind being a secondary wife. As long as I can be by your side, that's all that matters."
Watching Senior Mei rest her cheek on her hand with a troubled, wistful expression, I couldn't help but sigh.
I could feel the sheer weight of her sincerity in those words.
I was truly happy, in a sense. To think someone like her could love someone as lacking as me so much.
But that was exactly why I couldn't accept it.
Even if Schicksal permitted multiple marriages, I didn't think I was capable of it.
I already felt that the love I gave my wife was never enough—whether emotionally or physically.
If I took another wife, that love would only be divided further.
Eventually, someone would feel neglected, and if I couldn't resolve that, the whole thing would end in ruin.
To put it simply, I didn't have the confidence to love multiple people equally.
That's why I had to keep my wits about me. I felt that if I made even one mistake here, I'd be crossing a point of no return.
"And what exactly are you doing here?"
I jumped at the familiar voice behind me. I spun around to find my wife standing there, her face an absolute mask of neutrality.
"Wait, honey! Let me explain, this is all a misunderstanding!"
"...Excuse me? What exactly is a misunderstanding?"
Driven by a guilty conscience, I had reflexively snatched the marriage form and hidden it behind my back while waving my other hand dismissively. I realized my blunder the moment Bronya tilted her head in confusion.
I had basically just screamed, 'I'm doing something suspicious!'
Predictably, my wife picked up on the cues. A chilling frost seemed to radiate from her as she stepped closer.
"Dear... what are you hiding behind your back?"
"Well, you see... it's just..."
"Give it to me. Now."
"I, uh, I really can't... or rather, it would be awkward if I did..."
"Hmm?"
As I avoided her increasingly sharp gaze, her suspicion turned into absolute certainty. Just as she reached behind me to grab it, Senior Mei's voice cut between us.
"What he's hiding is our marriage registration form."
"A marriage form...? Hah. Between whom, exactly?"
"Between him and me."
"...How amusing. He is *my* husband. I assume the person saying this understands exactly what that means—Big Sis Mei?"
The look on Bronya's face was pure shock, as if she was wondering why Mei was suddenly there. Senior Mei, who had somehow already gotten herself an americano, simply waved at my wife.
Ah... had I been blocking her view of Mei because I jumped up so suddenly?
Regardless, Bronya froze for a moment before her eyes dropped to the form in my hand.
She saw Senior Mei's name in the 'Bride' section. Her expression hollowed out. "So, the time has finally come," she whispered to herself, looking like a person who had accepted their fate.
"...Well, I suppose one more mother for Bronie won't be an issue at this point."
Excuse me, my dear wife? What on earth are you saying?
"Well then, shall we go see our daughter?"
"Indeed. It's late, let us head home immediately."
"Ah, wait... before that, let's drop this form off at HQ."
"Pardon? But we can do that later—"
At that moment, Senior Mei leaned in and whispered something into my wife's ear.
Bronya's face went pale. She let out a tiny gasp, looking absolutely horrified as she glanced at me before quickly changing her tune.
"Let us... let us finish this as quickly as possible."
Good heavens, what did she tell her to make her act like this?!
"I heard everything!"
And now Kiana?! Where did she even come from?!
"That's so unfair! You were trying to get your name on the list first, Senior Mei! I'm putting my name on a marriage form right now, too!"
"Why you too all of a sudden?! Sigh... I told Senior Mei this already, but you need to get my wife's permission first—"
"I already have her permission, so it's fine!"
"Bronya?!"
I accidentally shouted her name in shock, but my wife simply looked away, refusing to meet my eyes.
Dammit! I don't know what kind of leverage they have, but I can't just suddenly marry both of them!
"Kiana, think about this. Marriage is one of the most important moments of your life, you know?"
"And?"
"So marry someone else, not a guy who's already married! Why does it have to be me?!"
"Do you want to hear why?"
"...No, actually, I don't."
Fearing I'd hear another story like Senior Mei's, I gave up on asking.
In the end, that day, I gained two more wives besides Bronya—no, I didn't!
I still haven't signed those papers!
We're just... living together! That's all!