When I came to, it wasn‘t an "unfamiliar ceiling" that greeted me, but rather two very familiar peaks.
At the same time, the warm, soft, yet firm sensation supporting the back of my head told me—unless I was very much mistaken—that I was being given a lap pillow.
The person holding me was wearing a yukata, and the silver strands tickling my face, combined with the faint, comforting scent rising from her skin, confirmed immediately that it was my wife.
Feeling a gentle breeze on my face, I shifted my gaze slightly. Perhaps because I had fainted from dizziness, she was fanning me with a hand fan she must have picked up from somewhere nearby.
Ah, this truly is happiness.
I wanted to lie there a little longer, but I knew that giving a lap pillow puts a significant strain on the person doing it. I‘d rather suppress my own desires than see my beloved wife suffering from a dead leg later.
With that thought, I tried to sit up, but a gentle hand pressed down on my shoulder, stopping me.
My wife had set the fan aside and was looking down at me with worried eyes.
"...Lie down a bit longer."
"I‘m fine now."
"You‘re the type of person who says they‘re fine even when they‘re not, so your words have no credibility. Please stay down until Bronya says you‘re fine."
"Mm, but still... I don't want your legs to go numb."
"Honestly... who is worrying about whom here? Don't worry about it. You weren't out for that long. Just rest like this for a moment."
Seeing her firm expression, I relaxed my body, admitting defeat.
She smiled gently at my compliance and began to stroke my hair softly.
Usually, she was the one being pampered, so I was the one who often patted her head. It was quite rare for her to stroke my hair like this.
It wasn't that I disliked it. It just felt unfamiliar. And a little ticklish.
Still, I didn't push her hand away. Aside from the ticklish feeling, it actually felt quite nice.
"...You're cute."
I really wished she wouldn't call me that, though. No matter how you looked at it, "cute" was not a word that suited me.
I knew she wasn't talking about my physical appearance, but still... it was embarrassing.
"Are you embarrassed?"
Seeing my face flush, she asked as if she had caught onto me immediately. I turned my head away to hide it.
Taking my reaction as confirmation, she burst into a soft laugh, set the fan down, and cupped my cheeks with both hands, forcing me to look at her again.
My gaze met the two peaks filling my vision once more, and beyond them, my wife‘s beautiful, silver-bell-like eyes.
At first glance, her eyes might seem cold, but I could read the deep affection within them. I reached up with my right hand and touched her cheek.
As I felt her smooth, soft skin, she gently took hold of my hand with her own. Then, like a cat, she nuzzled her face against my palm.
A strange little smile played on her lips as she guided my finger into her mouth—
"Excuse me, I am still here. Could you two tone it down a bit?"
"...I don't know about you, Idiot Kiana, but skinship between spouses is incredibly important."
At Kiana's frowning complaint, Bronya looked back at her as if to ask, 'What's the problem?'
Wait, you were there?
I followed my wife‘s gaze downwards and saw Kiana, also dressed in a yukata, sitting comfortably nearby.
"I know that, but you're being way too explicit. What you were just about to do was basically foreplay."
Kiana realized my wife was doing it on purpose and glared, veins practically popping on her forehead. Bronya, seeing this, smirked with one corner of her mouth, mocking her. Then, deliberately locking eyes with Kiana, she brought my finger back to her lips and slowly, sensually, licked it.
It was a blatant provocation, obvious to anyone watching.
Something must have snapped inside Kiana. She let out a sharp "Ha!" in disbelief, but then, seeming to have an idea, she smiled and crawled over to us.
This time, it was my wife who looked at her with wary, anxious eyes. Enjoying Bronya's reaction, Kiana moved right next to me, grabbed my hand, and—
"Yap~♡"
—pressed it directly against her chest.
My eyes widened in shock. Even my wife‘s jaw dropped, her eyes wide.
Neither of us had expected her to counterattack like this.
Seeing our reactions—especially Bronya‘s—Kiana wore a look of triumph.
"..."
""... ...?""
However, as she remained frozen in that exact pose, both my expression and my wife's slowly turned into confusion.
Wondering what was going on, I glanced up at Kiana's face. She was staring at my hand, her face burning bright red, her eyes darting around nervously. Seeing that, the tension instantly left my body.
My wife seemed to feel the same. She looked at Kiana with a mix of pity and relief, likely thinking the exact same thing I was:
Did she commit to the provocation on impulse, only to realize the embarrassment of what she‘d done after the fact?
Come to think of it, Kiana rarely had physical contact with men other than me.
Even then, it was only for professional reasons; she never even glanced at men in a romantic sense.
That isn't to say she hasn't had the experience of being touched (?). There were quite a few... actually, many times where I unintentionally groped her during clumsy falls or accidents.
It happened so often, like the protagonist of some harem anime, that it was a miracle she hadn't cut ties with me yet.
In fact, seeing this happen with other women too, the doctors at Anti-Entropy once studied me, suspecting there was something scientifically wrong.
In the end, they concluded the cause was inexplicable.
They named it: "Sudden Lucky Lewdness caused by Forced Reality Manipulation."
Of course, I later found out the real cause myself. During the final battle, the Will of the Honkai had mistaken me for a figure similar to Dr. MEI from the Previous Era. Since I couldn't be killed by physical Honkai energy like Dr. MEI was, it placed a reality-warping curse on me to "kill me socially" and prevent me from opposing it.
Considering that most of the Valkyries and Herrschers fighting against the Honkai were women, it was a terrifyingly effective curse.
What a diabolical and fearful hex it was.
It hadn't triggered once since I married my wife—perhaps marriage broke the condition—but before that, the number of times I nearly died a social death was beyond counting.
If not for the help of those around me, I would have been encased in concrete and thrown into the ocean long ago.
Anyway, since Kiana had only ever been on the receiving end of these accidents and had never initiated them herself, she seemed to have short-circuited. Her sanity, which had briefly checked out during her provocation, had returned, causing her to realize the situation and overload.
Wait, you used to act so high and mighty, blushing while touching other women or being touched by them, but this is your reaction to touching a guy?
And you were the one who initiated it!
Where did that girl go who claimed that "Mei's love heals all wounds" or who, upon hearing that Siegfried touched every Valkyrie‘s butt, said she "envied the dad who got to do that"?
"Excuse me... may I bring in the meal?"
In the end, Kiana didn't let go of my hand until an inn employee opened the door and looked at us with a very awkward expression.