Truth be told, this isn't the first time "Seele" has kissed me like this.
To be precise, these occurrences predate my marriage. They started back when I was still just dating my wife.
Our secret relationship was in full swing then. It happened on the night when my wife and the other children from the orphanage celebrated reaching adulthood. It was their very first drinking party.
We figured the young adults should enjoy their first drinks amongst themselves, so the older staff made their exits. However, my wife insisted that at least one person stay behind to supervise, and she recommended me.
The others agreed, much to my embarrassment. But then, I felt her fingers slip through mine, lacing our hands together under the table. It was then I realized this was exactly what she had intended.
I remembered the promise she made on the day she truly became an adult—she told me she wanted me to make her a woman.
My heart began to hammer against my ribs like a rhythmic pump. Thump. Thump. It was deafening.
As I followed the now-adult members of the Cocolia Family, my chest felt so tight and my breathing so rapid that I feared my wife might hear it. I tried to pull my hand away to steady myself, but whether she sensed my anxiety or was simply being bold, she gripped my hand tighter and looked up at me.
Maybe it was just the lighting, but her cheeks seemed flushed, and the look in her eyes was suggestive enough to make me swallow hard.
This has to be a green light, right?
"[What are you two doing?]"
""Ah?!""
"[Everyone is waiting. You should probably head inside, don't you think?]"
"Ah, right. Yeah."
"...Thank you, Seele."
That was close. If we had kept locking eyes like that, I probably would have kissed her right then and there. My wife had insisted on keeping our relationship a secret until the time was right, but following that rule was becoming increasingly difficult. The thrill of deceiving everyone for so long had its own addictive quality.
She was desperate to hide our romance. Sometimes her secrecy made me feel a bit neglected, but whenever I let that slip, she would look so devastated and apologetic that I eventually just learned to live with it.
And as expected, that night, I crossed the line.
But I crossed it with 『Seele』.
It was an accident, in a sense. I've always had a high tolerance for alcohol—at least by civilian standards. Compared to Valkyries, however, I'm a total lightweight.
My biggest mistake was assuming that even though they were Valkyries, it was their first time drinking, so they wouldn't have much. Usually, you learn to drink from your elders. You learn how to pour, how to receive, how to sip, and most importantly, how to know your limit and exercise restraint.
But the Cocolia Family didn't have that luxury. Cocolia and Natasha were always too busy running the orphanage to teach them. That task fell to me... but with a group of peers, no superiors around, and the comfort of their own dorms, the girls charged ahead like runaway freight trains.
The Olenyeva sisters had picked up a drinking game from somewhere, and before I knew it, I was forced past my limits. Alcohol flooded my system. Luckily, I'm the type who just falls asleep when drunk. My wife eventually guided me back to my room and laid me down.
"...You mustn't fall asleep yet, okay?"
She whispered, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek before leaving the room. I tried to stay awake for her, but the exhaustion was a physical weight, and I eventually drifted off.
I woke up feeling someone shaking me.
"Ah, you're here."
Between the alcohol-induced haze and the darkness of the room, I could only see a silhouette. I didn't stop to think. I reached out, pulled the girl hovering over me down, and kissed her. When she feebly tapped against my chest in surprise, I mistook it for playful resistance. I pushed deeper, my tongue searching for hers, initiating the most intense kiss we had ever shared.
I felt her struggling hands go limp as I began to explore her body. She stiffened momentarily, but under my touch, the tension melted into a subtle, frantic trembling that I felt against my fingertips.
As she relaxed, I reached for the hem of her clothes, but her hand stopped mine. It was a firm grip, as if telling me to go no further. Assuming she was just nervous because it was her first time, I pushed myself up slightly, gave her a light kiss, and whispered into her ear.
"...Don't worry. Just leave it to me."
Her ears must have been sensitive, because she flinched violently at my breath. I whispered again.
"I love you."
Her strength finally failed her. I undressed her, and taking her first time into account, I proceeded slowly and gently.
It was only after we had finished and the subsequent rounds cleared the remaining fog from my mind that my vision finally sharpened. I was paralyzed with shock.
"...H-How? Why?"
"[Haa... 'Why?' is a bit of a rude thing to say to a woman the morning after, don't you think? You're the one who turned me into this, Captain.]"
With a lingering moan, she pushed me back onto the bed and climbed on top of me, her body pressing flush against mine.
"[So, you'd better take responsibility, Captain.]"
"I... I...."
"[Oh, and for the record, I know you and Big Sis Bronya are dating.]"
"...How?"
"[I saw you by chance. While I was 'out,' I caught you kissing her.]"
"...Where?"
"[Schicksal Sector XX. XXX Tower. It was approximately 10:27 PM, right?]"
As she cited the exact time and place, I realized that this Seele knew everything.
"[It piqued my interest—no, it bothered me. So every time I took control, I did a little investigating. I found out about your little secret romance pretty quickly.]"
"...Does Seele know?"
"[No, that dummy doesn't have a clue. She doesn't even know her body was just ravished.]"
She gave me a thin, mischievous smile. I knew then that she held all the cards. She could shatter my life whenever she pleased.
"What do you want from me?"
"[You will sleep with me whenever I want.]"
"...I'm dating Bronya."
"[I know. But you owe me now, don't you? After what you did to my body today, don't even think about avoiding responsibility.]"
Her crimson eyes flared with a predatory light. I bristled, stating clearly that I had no intention of running away from my actions. She scoffed and leaned in close, hooking a finger under my chin to lift my head.
"[Then do as I say. If you do, this world where no one gets hurt will continue. Well... except for you, the sinner.]"
I couldn't argue. I accepted her terms because she was right—I was a sinner.
"[Oh, by the way, Captain... that 'February 29th' folder on the Hyperion's mainframe? That was quite the read. We should look at it together later, okay?]"
...Pardon?
Since then, our illicit relationship has continued. She even held the fact that she helped me and Bronya get married over my head to extract more promises, like 'going on a date whenever I want.' Every time she manifested, she would drag me away on private trips. This had continued even after my marriage.
That is why I feel my love for my wife is always insufficient. That is why I cannot accept the feelings of Senior Mei or Kiana. I don't have the right.
Regarding the legality of polygamy, I actually knew about it before Mei ever mentioned it. Driven by guilt, I had once begged this Seele to let me tell Bronya and the other Seele so we could just legalize our union through a multi-marriage.
She had laughed in my face and kicked the suggestion away.
"[That would be no fun at all.]"
"...We can't keep doing this forever. You know that better than anyone."
"[I know. But still...]"
She trailed off, but I understood. She was worried about Seele. She doubted whether the innocent Seele could stay sane if she heard the whole truth. If only I had been honest from the start. I thought I was being considerate by hiding it, but I've waded too deep into the mire. If this continues and an accident happens, it'll be a catastrophe.
"Seele."
"[No. That girl is my absolute priority.]"
"But—"
"[Enough talk. Besides, Captain...]"
"What?"
"[Don't you think the secrecy makes it more... heated?]"
She flashed a nonsensical smile and pushed me down again. Straddling me, she cupped my cheeks with both hands.
"[The night is still young, Captain.]"
'Let's enjoy this together,' she said, kissing me again. She never spoke of the matter again after that night, nor did she demand sex or dates for a long while.
Then, our daughter was born.
* * * * *
"...You manifested on purpose, didn't you? You knew I'd come out."
I let out a heavy sigh, touching my lips. Seele—the other one—didn't even try to deny it.
"[That's right. I secretly spiked your dinner with a massive dose of caffeine.]"
"When did you even have the chance?!"
No wonder I couldn't sleep. It was her doing.
"[And now you're just full of energy, aren't you?]"
"Too much energy. It's a problem."
"[Don't worry, we can burn it off right now.]"
"I am not doing that."
"[Well, I expected that response.]"
She shrugged, but I didn't lower my guard. Her personality was the polar opposite of the gentle Seele; I couldn't afford a single moment of carelessness.
"You didn't go through all this trouble just for a kiss."
"[As expected of the Captain. You catch on quick.]"
"We've known each other a long time."
"[We've shared bodies, too~]"
"...You don't need to bring that up."
The walls have ears. If anyone heard her talking like that in my own home, it would be over. If my wife found out about our history this way instead of from me, I'd have to worry about whether I'd survive long enough to apologize. My wife treasures Seele more than anyone.
"[Whatever. What I want to say is this: I've decided to stop hiding my feelings.]"
"Stop hiding them?"
"[...You really are dense. Honestly, is that why Big Sis Bronya won? Because she just charged in without worrying about being watched?]"
"Won what?"
"[Forget it. You wouldn't understand even if I explained it. This is the conclusion.]"
Her face reddened slightly. She took a deep breath and looked at me with eyes full of resolve.
"[Captain. Marry me—no, marry us.]"