28th August 2001
How could I forget the day I was born? I was told I did not cry—not even once—in my entire childhood. Maybe my parents thought I was afflicted by some disease. Looking at their worried faces, I never understood what troubled them.
3 years old...
My first day at kindergarten. I always thought it was so bland and boring. Unlike other kids, I didn't get excited by praise from my teachers. In fact, I thought they were tedious. I hated their fake facade of loving children when all they really cared about was money.
"Why can't you be like normal kids? Why won't you go out to play?"
I don't know, Mother. I honestly have no idea why I can't be like the others. I can't even pretend to be what you want me to be.
5 years old...
My parents can't stop worrying. They've taken me to the hospital countless times and even performed strange traditional rituals, but it seems I still cannot meet their expectations. I honestly don't know what bothers them. I am being such a good boy. I even ace every subject at school.
10 years old...
My relationship with my parents has worsened. Despite my academic endeavors to satisfy them, it seems they can't help but complain. Honestly, by now, I feel that worry has soured into hatred, and they have simply grown used to the feeling. Don't worry; I will leave this house soon.
12 years old...
Today my mother and father had a massive fight. From what I could gather, my father cheated on my mother with one of his colleagues. To be honest, I had already figured that out. He's been coming home late and drunk since last year. I guess even he wants to be rid of this family.
15 years old...
Today was my middle school graduation ceremony. For me, nothing eventful happened. As someone who lacks friends, this was the expected outcome. But somewhere deep inside, I felt kind of lonely.
16 years old...
I tried being bold for the first time in my life, putting on a facade of an extrovert for my high school debut. But it seems I blew it. Instead of becoming the popular kid, I earned the title of school joker.
Not that it bothers me too much, though. I guess I won't have to put on that fake persona ever again.
20 years old...
"Oh! Are you talking about that nerd? Well, he's easy to toy with, you don't have to worry about that."
It was my crush—the most beautiful girl in the medical branch. Apparently, her boyfriend was getting jealous because she had started talking to me so often.
I thought she liked me back. I never knew she thought of me like that. This was the first time I felt as if I had actually lost something in my life.
30 years old...
I became a professional surgeon... and I am still single. I have no family or relatives. The people I tried so hard to impress abandoned me shortly after my high school graduation.
I always thought this society was too boring to bother with and never cared much for relationships. I guess you reap what you sow.
35 years old...
I was on my way to the hospital. A patient I was tending to had suffered a sudden intracranial hemorrhage. In my rush to get there, I had an accident.
And here I am, lying on the road. It seems the person driving the other car died instantly. My phone is ringing constantly; the hospital is calling.
I'm sorry. It seems neither of us is going to survive today.
I spit out blood vigorously. It seems the blunt trauma to my lungs has caused an irreversible pulmonary embolism. Soon my consciousness fades, and everything goes dark.
...
The only thing I can see, the only thing I can feel, is darkness. I have no limbs, no torso, no head. Is this what the afterlife is like? Was the Orch-OR hypothesis true?
After an unknown amount of time...
I don't know how long I have been floating in this void. My mind is exhausted. It is only a matter of time before I completely stop thinking.
Suddenly, I see a faint light far away. I try to reach for it, but... I forgot I have no physical body.
What could that light be? Whoa—is it approaching me?
Ding!
Suddenly, I find myself lying against a solid wall. Where am I? Is this a forest? I look at myself, only to be shocked by the blood covering my body.
What? What is this?
Memories suddenly flood into me. I cry out in pain as I begin to remember everything. About this body I am inside. About who I am. And about how this body died.
After his entire life flashed before my eyes, all I could do was laugh.
"Hahahahaha..."
If anyone saw me laughing like this in this state, I wouldn't be surprised if they called me crazy. Because what I am facing now is insanely stupid in its own right.
"Are you playing games with me?! Huh? Answer me! Who is toying with me? Is it that entertaining to see me suffer?"
No response comes. My voice was so loud it must have echoed through the entire forest. My laughter slowly turned into a sob. All I could think was: just how shit can one person's life be?
To be trashed my entire previous life, only to reincarnate into someone with an even worse fate. How could anyone enjoy watching this?
I unsheathe the sword from my hip. I point it at my neck, ready to drive it in.
Just then, someone appeared before me.