Summary:
Botan Yamada was just an average underground pro. When she dies from a gunshot wound to the gut, she isn't really thinking about the afterlife, or being reborn as someone else. She's remarkably calm about the entire situation, all things considered.
But, when she gets reincarnated into a world of mythical warriors and corrupt politicians, she's got a few questions. Such as, why haven't her memories of a past life faded? Why does she still have her Quirk? And what is she supposed to do with it as another war brews on the horizon?
Notes:For Noctra.Chapter 1Chapter Text
Botan Yamada, a.k.a. Radio Silence, knew that one day she would die on patrol. She knew that, and of course she did. That was the risk you took when you became an underground pro. People were more than willing to kill a nameless underground pro. They didn't mean anything to the media, and there wasn't going to be much heat for killing one. Besides, the villains that operated at night were more dangerous, more skilled, more hardened. They were perfectly willing to kill to get away, and were often career criminals, not like the clumsy ones on the news.
So, she knew she was going to die one day.
But, even so, it was almost calm in a way. She was laid out in the middle of the street, a bullet wound in her gut, steadily bleeding out in a way that told her she didn't have long. There was no one around her, no one to hold her hand, but she had been on her own for a long time, too. She knew that was the risk she took when she didn't take a sidekick. That was what she chose for herself.
So, it wasn't all that alarming, bleeding out in the middle of asphalt. She watched her red, red blood pool around the yellow dashes, curling around the brightly colored lines and standing out under them, stark on the black. The yellowed and old streetlamp was buzzing noisily, and it was kind of starting to annoy her. There were moths flapping around it, loud in the quiet, and she…
Just turned it all off.
All sound went out, and she breathed in the comfortable quiet she had grown so accustomed to. Like second nature, her trained body recognized the feeling of her quirk activating, and her heart started to thump silently in her chest, preparing for a fight. More blood came out of the gaping wound, and Botan…
Botan closed her eyes.
All pros should go out with their quirk still on.
"Well, where did you come from?" someone asked, amused, and Botan looked up at a tall, tall man. She was standing on some steps to what looked like a temple, and there were cars flying in the air. Who was this tall man? She didn't recognize him, and why was he so big? Was it a quirk?
Immediately, her head swiveled around to take in the sight of people in robes walking up the stairs, talking amongst themselves, but heads were drawn to her, standing there in… clothes she was not wearing before. Rough clothes that chafed at her skin, wrapped around her body in a flightsuit and a little jacket, and she was clutching some kind of stuffed animal she didn't recognize between her hands. There were holes in her boots, and actually… Weren't her feet… Kind of small?
Scratch that, weren't her hands small?
"Let's get you inside," the man said, and extended his hand to her. She stared at it, and then stared up at the man, and dimly wished she could scream.
Chapter 2Chapter Text
She was in another world, and she was four, according to the strange scanners they waved all in her face. Perfectly healthy, strange DNA sequence, not quite Human but not quite anything else, but we'll mark her as being from Coruscant, whatever that was, and her name was still Botan, according to the slip of paper that gave her first name, no last name. DNA couldn't be traced to any known relatives, and she was something called 'Force sensitive'.
Everyone was talking a lot, all over her, and no one was talking to her, not that she could talk, anyways. It was a byproduct of her quirk, the loss of any ability to make vocalizations.
"You," the tall man who had brought her in said as he crouched in front of her, "have not spoken since you came in."
Botan stared at him, and he tilted his head.
"Or do you prefer not to speak?" he asked, and she blinked slowly, because that was weirdly perceptive and close to the target. "Or can't? "
Slowly, Botan nodded, and he nodded a few times.
"I'll have to report to the Temple about this and see if the Temple Guards saw anything," he said. "Maybe we'll see who left you on the cameras, hm?"
Botan wasn't sure of what was going on. She was a lost child, but why was she a child? Hadn't she just died? She could have sworn she just died. In fact, she was sure of it. So, what was going on? Was this reincarnation? But, she was four. The same age Quirks came in. Was that just when you became aware of your reincarnation?
She wasn't going to read too much into it. Hizashi had always been Shinto, but she had always had more Buddhist leanings. Memories of another life would fade with time, probably, so she wasn't too worried about it. What really mattered right now was that she was a lost child, with no memory of her parents whatsoever. In what seemed like a really big city. With flying cars. Because of course that made sense.
"Alright, Botan, let's get you some food," the man said and picked her up easily, which was more than weird, and she immediately began to squirm to get down. "No?"
Obligingly, he set her back down, and put a hand between her shoulder blades to lead her out the door.
"Don't forget your tooka," he said and handed her the plushie she had absolutely no connection to, and she gripped it nervously. The man led her out of the strange infirmary she had wound up in, and she looked around at her surroundings. It was open, big ceilings and long halls, with lots of people in robes walking and talking quietly. Had she been left in front of a temple or something? Was this a religious affiliation?
"My name is Mace Windu," the man said as he guided her through the halls. "I'm a Jedi Master here."
Okay. Jedi. She could figure things out from there. She had never heard the term before, but she could figure it out. The most important thing about being lost in enemy territory is to take stock of all information you could glean.
It seemed insane to her that she had survived Shigaraki and the war, but not a gunshot wound three years later. All of that, just to die to a two bit killer years later, and it stung more than a little. She was a survivor of a war, a deadly ambush predator, and she had fallen to a petty criminal robbing a house. Talk about bad luck. It was almost ironic. And cruel, in a way. If she had died, she would have preferred to go out three years before, in a blaze of glory, not pathetically on a street.
Oh, well.
She wouldn't have to worry about it much longer, when she forgot all her memories.
It was kind of weird that she was Botan again.
She felt bad for Hizashi, though. He hadn't deserved to lose her. Her parents were going to make the funeral a nightmare process for everything when he was already grieving. They had always said she didn't have what it took to be a pro. They hadn't believed in her, and look at her now. Dead. Reincarnated, with missing parents, which wasn't all that different from her first life. They had never really been present in her life to begin with.
Well, she wasn't going to feel all that bitter about it. She had Hizashi. He had done the bulk of the raising of her, but it did feel a little bad that she had just been left to bleed out on the street like that. She hadn't really deserved that, but people rarely got the death they deserved. She knew that. She knew that very well.
It was frustrating, but it was fine.
She kind of wanted a nap, because she had no idea how long this body had been awake.
But, the promise of food was good enough.
"Here you are," Mace Windu said as he set the tray of food in front of her, and she stared down at it in silence. "Do you know Basic Galactic Sign?"
Slowly, she shook her head no, and he sat down opposite her with his own tray.
"Well, this," he said, and made a sign, "is hungry."
Botan watched the flow of his hands, unfamiliar to her and her JSL, and she followed along. He nodded, pleased, and then frowned.
"If you've been mute this long, why haven't your parents taught you sign? Do you know how to write?"
Botan shook her head no, because of course she didn't know how to write in this world, though she could, for some unexplained reason, understand the language just fine. There was no memory of parents or anything like that. She had just shown up. Who had wrote that note on her, anyway?
"Well, I suppose you're a bit young to know how to write, but…" he frowned again. "Maybe they didn't know you'd be mute. You're not deaf, clearly."
He was clearly trying to give negligent parents the benefit of the doubt, and Botan thought she only learned sign language because her own parents were deaf. They wouldn't have bothered with it if they were hearing, but it was their own hubris that got them deaf, anyways. Honestly. Who thought a quirk marriage was a good idea? It always produced the wrong results, and Hizashi was proof of that, being born with his quirk in and all, just like the rest of them.
"Well," he said, and showed her another sign. "This is hello."
She copied the easy sign, and he proceeded to show her a few more signs, like bathroom and food, please and thank you, enough for her to get around. Want, need, all the bare necessities. He was kind, she thought, and the food was good. It was a nice place, this temple, and she liked these 'Jedi'. There was a sense of warmth here, and quiet, that was unlike anything she had experienced before.
She kind of hoped her parents didn't show up and she could stay here.
Mace frowned as he watched the security tape. It had descended into static moments before the little girl had just appeared, and none of the other Jedi on the front steps had seen anything. It was more like she had come out of nowhere, and he glanced back at her, where she was sitting on a chair, swinging her little feet as she sucked away on a juice box. He hadn't thought to leave her with anyone else, but now he was regretting that.
There was a process to give children up to the Order. They had to protect themselves, and many people already thought of them as child snatchers and criminals. They didn't need to make things worse by taking in every child that wandered onto their doorstep, but… But she had clearly been abandoned. There was a reason they left her name pinned to her flight suit on a scrap of flimsi. Objectively, the Order should contact child services, but she was also highly Force sensitive, and the average foster home could not handle that. The ones that could were constantly full, and she was more Force sensitive than average. Her midichlorian count was extremely high. They weren't going to be able to cope with any meltdowns.
Botan was calm, at least, not bothered in the slightest by what was going on around her. She was just looking around curiously, and Mace turned to Yoda to speak in low tones.
"What do you think?" he asked, and Yoda hummed.
"Concerning, this is," he said, and that was an understatement, definitely. "A small child, she is. Very concerning."
"Should we just put her in the creche for the night…?"
"In the creche, she should go, and continue to search for her parents, we will," Yoda said, and Mace nodded. That's what he was thinking, too. It wasn't entirely the first time this had happened, though it was the first time since he had been a member of the Council. Some parents couldn't handle the shame of abandoning their children and dealt with it in the wrong way. She wasn't registered, either, which was concerning and a half. They could not pull up any record of her anywhere, so she was probably from the Outer Rim or something, from some podunk town without access to things like registries or even listing in the Galactic species. Her blood wasn't traced to any planet whatsoever, and she wasn't… quite Human. There was some strange variation in her genome no one knew anything about.
Mace was not looking forward to the creche master finding out what that strange variation was.
"Alright, Botan," he said as he approached her. "I'm going to take you for the creche for the night, and tomorrow, we'll keep looking for your parents, okay?"
The little girl stared at him with those strange red eyes and then nodded once, only once. She slipped down from her seat and then looked around for somewhere to throw her empty juice box, and he held out his hand for it. Primly, she put it in his grasp, and he turned for the door.
"We'll continue to look for her parents in the morning," Mace said, even though they were probably already off planet and running from their shame, and Yoda inclined his head.
"Find them, you will not," he said, and yeah. That's what Mace was worried about.
Chapter 3Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Botan was five now, and had no idea how she got inducted into a religious society, but she was surprisingly calm about it, all things considered. For some reason, the memories of her past life hadn't faded, which really gave her an edge in lightsaber training, but oh, gods, going through school for a second time really was not fun. She hated it, though she did fairly well at it. She almost wished her memories faded so it didn't have to be so boring. Jedi education was very different from formal education, though, and very different from anything she went through in Japan. It was all very… what was that teaching style Hizashi liked to talk about… Oh, she didn't remember. But it was very New Age and very centered around that gentle parenting style TikTok loved to preach at her. Very much 'children are people and should be treated as such', so it wasn't all that bad.
She didn't mind it.
Her parents never turned up, not that she was expecting them to, seeing as she wasn't entirely convinced she had them. Memories of them had never turned up, and she had waited very patiently for that.
Her entire creche spoke Galactic Basic Sign with her. They had learned with her, and she was more than a bit grateful for that. She hadn't used her quirk in about a year, and it pulled at the edges of her senses.
That was another thing. The senses. She didn't realize when she was first brought here, but the Force was loud, and cluttered. Coruscant was an entire city of a planet, and she could hear everything in it. It was loud, and she had noticed her hearing was sharper than ever. She could hear snippets of conversations from miles away, and had to wonder if this was her quirk without any hearing damage from her family. It was all so loud, and sometimes she considered muting everything, but she wasn't sure what kind of damage she could do with that kind of power unchecked. She wasn't exactly in a place where it was acceptable for children to have quirk accidents and mute half the city, and her range felt the same as it had when she had died, back when she could mute half a city if she was so inclined. Though, she primarily focused on isolating noises and muting individual sounds, which was much more useful.
Overall, she was very politely baffled and more than a little confused, and that state had not ended since she had come here. It felt like she was just tottering her way through life without an understanding of what was going on.
Oh, and the Force powers. The Force powers were a lot. She was being trained in control and mindfulness, and she rather liked the thoughts and viewpoints of the Jedi. They reminded her of Buddhism, which was familiar to her. It felt like home, sometimes, though she sometimes missed it. And it was useful. She didn't realize how big her emotions were for such a tiny body. It was overwhelming, sometimes, and she had cried more than a few times.
Even now, she was destressing, hidden behind one of the statues in the great hall, because Hominy had been a nightmare lately and she desperately needed some space from her. The kid clearly had a raging case of ADHD and absolutely no one was keeping up on it when Crechemaster Quartz's back was turned. She was just all over the place, and Botan needed some space. So, here she was, clumsily crocheting a scarf, and there were voices coming down the hall.
" Anakin, when I say no, that means no," a man said, and there was a quiet whine from a preteen boy.
"But, Ferus got to!"
"That's because Ferus is responsible, and I am not---"
Botan's ball of yarn fell on the ground and rolled forward, and she scrambled to grab it, only for it to stop at a shiny, brown boot. A boot that had mud on it, and she stared at it for a moment as her heart fell.
"Oh, dear," a man murmured, and then he bent over to pick it up and dust it off. The mud was dried, so not much had gotten on her yarn, and he held it out to her. "There you are, youngling."
"Thank you," she signed quickly and reached out her hand for the ball, and once she took it, he lifted his hands to sign.
"You're welcome," he signed, and she brightened up slightly before awkwardly shifting her ball so it was tucked under her arm.
"I'm not deaf, just mute," she signed, and he nodded a few times. She looked up at him. His hair wasn't fire engine red, not like hers, but it was very red. She had come to notice she looked downright cartoonish compared to the other Human children.
"Well, I do apologize for the mud on your yarn, young one," he said, and she bent down to pick up the tail of the yarn and roll it up. "... What are you doing outside of the creche?"
"Loud," she signed one handed, and he frowned at her severely.
"Your crechemaster will be looking for you," he said and Botan tried to huff, but no sound came out. That was annoying. She didn't like to be fussed over. That was the annoying part of being a child again.
"She knows where I am," she signed once she got situated, even though Quartz did not, and he raised his eyebrows.
"Are you lying? "
"If I am?"
"Come now, you must be five at the most. You shouldn't be on your own in the Temple."
"I'm very mature."
"I'm sure," he said, droll, and she glared at him. There was an expression on his face like 'that is adorable', which was somehow even more infuriating, though she had gotten used to it, and she marched back over to her spot and hopped up on it with a little push of the Force.
"Master, I'm hungry," the boy said, loudly, and she was grateful for the untimely, if a little rude, distraction.
"Not right now, Anakin; we have a missing Youngling," the man said, and damn. Didn't he feed his Padawan?
"It's loud in there," Botan signed, and he tilted his head.
"Was it overstimulating?" he asked as she caught a snatch of a conversation somewhere over at the Senate, about a party, and she gritted her teeth, silent. There was nowhere really quiet on this planet, and she was constantly overstimulated. Sue her.
When she grew up, she was going to be a researcher or something, exploring the unknown regions. There wasn't much to hear out there.
"Yes," she signed, and he sighed.
"Well, I guess it can't be helped. I won't move you, but I will stay here with you until you're ready to go back. Anakin, you go on to the refectory without me."
"But, Master, I---"
"Anakin," the man said warningly, and Anakin fell silent, frustrated.
"Fine," he snapped and marched off, all bad temper, with a jealous glance shot over his shoulder, projecting it clearly in the Force. His master watched him go, clearly frustrated with it, and Botan wondered how they got anything done like that.
"What is your name, young one?" the man asked, and she lifted one hand to sign.
"B-O-T-A-N," she replied, and he nodded a few times.
"I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi," he said. "Jedi Knight."
He looked a bit young for a padawan, if she was being honest. Barely in his twenties, and she wondered why he was so youthful. Most knights spent a few years figuring out adulthood as knights before they took on a padawan, but he was clearly the exception. He was growing a beard, but it didn't look good on him. Maybe it needed to grow in a little more. It was like he was trying to convince everyone he was older than he was.
There was something sad about him, too. She couldn't put a finger on it, but he was sad. Maybe she should be a little more charitable. She just hated to be interrupted from her crochet.
The man slid down against the statue she was perched on, and she peered down at him.
"Don't mind me. Just keeping an eye on you," he said, and she sat back, satisfied. So long as he didn't bother her, she was content.
Her clumsy fingers picked up the crochet, and she reflected that in her past life, she always wanted to learn, but never had the time. It was always so busy as an underground pro. There was never any time to do anything but go on patrol, go to the gym, shower, maybe get some grocery shopping in if you were lucky, and pass out. She barely had time to cook, if she was being honest. It was all mostly takeout.
She felt well rested here, even though it was loud. Living as a child in these conditions was the least stressful thing she had ever encountered. It was all very calm, even though she was occasionally treated like a child, like right now, but then again… It was easy to get lost in the Temple, and if she saw a missing child, she would probably stay with them back when she was an adult to ensure they didn't get lost. So, she couldn't blame Obi-Wan too much.
It was quiet, around time for lastmeal, and she found it easier and easier to keep going with her V-stitches. She didn't even know who she was making this for. Someone, probably. Probably Quartz. The woman got cold easily, and Coruscant was cold when you were up top. It got hotter the lower you went down, reportedly, though Botan had never been allowed out of the Temple, so she wouldn't know.
Botan unrolled some more yarn and threw it over Obi-Wan's head, and he adjusted it so it laid on his shoulder as she continued to crochet. It was quiet, and calm, and she watched as he moved into a meditation pose. It was kind of bad manners to do that out here, but she supposed with not many people out here, it was fine. There was a sense of peace here, and she didn't mind it. There were still snippets of conversation she was picking up, a married couple arguing in the distance, a child crying somewhere in the Temple, and there were people fighting in the salles. It had gotten easier to bear with Jedi training, but she was still easily overwhelmed.
Obi-Wan was radiating calm and peace in the Force, and she found it warm and inviting. She didn't mind meditating around an adult. There was something about their competency that she found soothing. They were better at meditation than she was. There was always something to learn there.
It was peaceful, and kind of nice. She decided she liked this knight. He wasn't pressuring her to go back to the loud and chaotic creche, and willing to just sit with her. Something about his presence kind of reminded her of Hizashi when he was turned off and cool and not in his persona. The reminder brought a sting of tears to her eyes, and she wiped at them quietly. Obi-Wan looked up at that, sensing her sorrow in the Force, and tilted his head.
"What's wrong, Botan?"
She shook her head, because Force, she had lived as an underground pro for nearly a decade, and she had been here for a year, but she still missed Hizashi and all of her siblings. Hizashi had raised her when her parents kicked her out for forging their signatures to get into Ketsubetsu. He had been there when no one else could be, or would be, and now she was dead and in another life, and he had their siblings, all of her sisters and little brother, but he didn't have her now.
She mourned for him. He didn't know she was living a new life. He had no idea. He didn't know she was safe, happy, and well fed. He didn't know how she was doing, and she kind of hated that the memories hadn't faded. It would be easier that way.
"Are you alright?" Obi-Wan asked, and she uselessly flapped her hands at him. The city was so loud. She could hear all of the conversations going on, snippets of conversations she didn't care about right now, and---
It was all silent. Obi-Wan startled, tried to say something, and his eyes widened when he realized he couldn't hear himself. The world was cool and calm, and the second she realized she was doing it, she stopped.
"... Botan?" he asked, and she turned red from the shame. She hadn't lost control of her quirk since she was a child. She was a child.
"I'm sorry," she signed. "I lost control of it."
"You… did that?" he asked as another Jedi stepped out into the hall and looked around.
"What was that?" she asked as Botan uselessly wiped at her eyes, and Obi-Wan stared at her with wide, wide eyes.
"I… I don't know," he stammered, and oh. Botan had screwed up.
Notes:
poor baby lost control of her quirk... but i just imagined her in ten years muting anakin and i started laughing
anyways, i have a discord now. if y'all wanna join.
https://discord.gg/f6hYwutNMe
Chapter 4Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Well, there's nothing wrong with her," the healer said as she scanned Botan for the umpteenth time while Obi-Wan and Quartz stood there. "I think it either is a previously unknown Force ability, or part of her unknown genome variation."
"What kind of Human can do that? " Obi-Wan asked in complete confusion, and the healer paused.
"Well, she may not be entirely Human," she said, and Botan stared at her feet. Quirks weren't a thing here. She didn't know why she still had her Quirk when no one else did. It was confusing, baffling, even, and the only thing she could think was that maybe her Quirk was an intrinsic part of her soul and could not be changed. But, it was just a DNA mutation. She had never put much stock in a quirk, if she was being honest. It was just a tool to be used. She had been looked down on for her own, seen as weak and infantile due to her mutism, but she had turned it into a force to be reckoned with. If she could go toe to toe with Hizashi, widely considered one of the strongest pros around, and only out of the top ten because he worked at UA, then. Well.
Maybe she had found something of her identity in her quirk. Maybe she just didn't want to think of it as a part of her soul because she wanted to separate herself from it. But, now it seemed like it was a part of her that couldn't be easily scrubbed away.
She thought about All For One, that horrifying quirk, and thought about One For All, and all those souls that maybe still inhabited that quirk. She would never know the truth.
"Botan, did your parents have an ability like this?" Obi-Wan asked, and Botan kicked her little heels on the bed.
"No," she signed, definite and short, and Obi-Wan blinked.
"No?"
No, her parents didn't have the same quirk as her, and she felt like explaining it might raise more questions. Obi-Wan was quiet for a moment, and then Quartz knelt before Botan and gently laid her hands on her knees.
"Was this why your parents left you?" she asked, and Botan stared at her. It wasn't entirely a lie. Her parents did abandon her over her quirk and what she wanted to do with it.
"Yes," she signed, and Quartz took a deep breath. The lie settled in Botan's chest, and she felt bad, but maybe it would mean there would be less questions.
"Is this why you can't speak?" Quartz asked, because she had noticed, of course she had, that Botan couldn't make so much as a whimper. There was not a sound Botan could make. Even when she huffed, no noise came out. She couldn't laugh, couldn't sob, couldn't even hiccup.
"Yes," Botan replied, and Quartz nodded a few times.
"Well, if that's the case, I'll just mark her down as a mutated Human," the healer said. "It's happened before, but rarely. That could factor into her unorthodox coloring."
Unorthodox. Botan had noticed eye colors only came in a few select shades for Humans, and she hadn't seen anyone with red eyes except one albino Human Jedi, and she definitely wasn't albino. Not with her bright red hair and freckles all over her tan skin. She kind of wished she had green eyes now. That would make things easier. It was all very weird. Her brother had red eyes, too, and she had always thought that was normal.
Apparently not. Maybe it was a change that came on with the advent of quirks. She didn't pay much attention in history class. She had never actually been good at school.
She still wasn't that great at school. Learning to read had been hard. It had been incredibly hard. Aurebesh was still confusing to her, and she still mispronounced things in Basic. It was hard. And she was expected to learn incredibly advanced math, which made sense. A child should be able to calculate a hyperspace jump at the age of thirteen, just in case of an emergency.
She was doing her best, though. She really was. It was just… hard. Really hard.
"Well, I guess there's nothing physically wrong with her, so she should go have latemeal," the healer said as she straightened up, and Quartz came to her feet.
"Let's go, Botan," she said and did not hold out her hand for Botan to take, because she knew Botan hated that. Which was a relief. Botan was glad someone was learning something, at least.
The little girl slipped down from the bed and made a beeline for the door, grateful to get out of the healing halls, and Quartz caught her by the shoulder.
"We don't run," she said simply, and Botan shot her a dirty look.
"Sorry," she signed, short and to the point, and very determinedly marched to the doors. Obi-Wan walked alongside her, hands in his robes, and she wondered why he was sticking around so much. It wasn't like she was his padawan. He could have just brought her to the healing halls and been done with the whole matter. Ah, Jedi. So caring.
"Alright, Botan, we'll have to discuss rules," Quartz said, and Botan glanced up at her. "I know you hate it when the other kids cry, but you cannot mute them. That is rude. And you can't mute them when they're being too loud."
"You don't trust me," Botan signed, and Quartz sighed.
"There is a little old man in your body that is constantly screaming for the kids to get off his lawn, so, no, I don't trust you," she replied, and Botan rolled her eyes. Sue her, she liked her peace and quiet. "Is there anything about your condition that I should know?"
"I can hear people talk from a long way away," Botan signed, and Quartz gave pause.
"How long away?" she asked, and Botan hesitated, not sure if sharing was a good idea or not.
"I can hear people in the Senate talk about things they shouldn't," she said, and Quartz and Obi-Wan both stared down at her. "Do you know how many of them have places in the Outer Rim with slaves? A lot."
"Botan…" Quartz said, and then paled as she realized it was very well possible that Botan already knew what sex was. Obi-Wan looked sick, and Botan stared up at the both of them expectantly, waiting for them to stop panicking and realize what to say. How much hearing damage did she even have in her previous life that she didn't know about this aspect of her quirk? She thought her hearing was just normal. All of Hizashi's fits before he had to grow up and become a third parent had really done a number on her, apparently. "Okay, we have to discuss rules."
"Okay," Botan said and Quartz took a deep breath and smoothed down her skirt.
"Later, when I've thought about it and consulted with Council members," she said, and oh, okay, this was a big problem. "For now, don't repeat anything you've heard and just… go eat latemeal. Alright?"
"Yes, Quartz," Botan signed, and Obi-Wan puzzled over Quartz's sign name for a moment before his face cleared as he got it.
"Knight Kenobi, would you walk Botan to the refectory?" Quartz asked, her face still pale and drawn. "So I can go consult Yoda?"
"Of course," Obi-Wan said and laid a hand between Botan's shoulder blades. "It would be my pleasure."
"Thank you," Quartz said and swept away, and Obi-Wan led Botan down the hall in the opposite direction.
"Are you alright? You were crying earlier," he said as he pushed and prodded Botan down the hall, and she nodded.
"I just remembered something sad, and I don't want to remember it anymore, so I don't want to talk about it," she signed, and Obi-Wan nodded.
"Alright. Did you hear something upsetting?"
"Nothing upsets me," Botan signed with a bit too much confidence, and Obi-Wan sighed.
"It's alright if some of the things you hear upset you," he said, and she thought about it for a moment.
When this ability first kicked in, she had been… perturbed, and deeply so. As an underground pro, she had dealt with all manners of things in the dark, and never been thanked for it, so she was fairly accustomed to keeping her mouth shut about things. But, then, there was a crisis of morality, and she hadn't known what to do about it. Was it right to keep her mouth shut about all of the debauchery going on in the Senate? The wanton treachery and corruption? She knew so, so many things, and didn't understand a whole lot of them, but… But was it even right to sit on the knowledge and say nothing, and was there really anything the Jedi could do to correct it? Slavery was legal in the Outer Rim, and she had no idea if senators were barred from engaging in that particular trade in order to hold their office. She had no idea at all.
There had been a lot of questions in her mind, and she hadn't known what to do with them. But, now, the cat was out of the bag. So she had to do something about it. Should she speak up now? Would that be the right thing to do, or just the thing to assuage her guilt?
She didn't know.
But, she did know that she had to figure something out.
Quartz was shaken.
She had always known there was something different about Botan. Not only was her Force sensitivity something to rival even Anakin Skywalker, rumored to be the Chosen One, she had an old soul. Like someone had shoved an adult into a child's body. When she cried, she didn't throw a fit. She simply managed her own emotions, picked herself up, and got on with her day. Like she had practice at it. She was droll, with an adult's sophisticated humor, and was easily offended when you treated her like a child. Most children were, of course, but Botan was legitimately uncomfortable with it in a way that Quartz had not seen in all of her years as a crechemaster.
There was always something different about that little girl, and Quartz had done her best to keep her in line, but she had always turned a blind eye when Botan wandered off to get some space, so long as she wasn't gone too long.
She had been here for a year and Quartz had no idea she could do something like that. And Botan had known the entire time. When she was overstimulated, she just removed herself from the source of the issue. She could have abused a power like that, and easily, but she chose not to.
It was a very grown up decision.
Quartz didn't often like to impede in the space of other masters, but for this, it was a necessity as she knocked on the door to Yoda's residence. There was a pause, and then a creaking, "enter!"
"Hello, Master Yoda," she said as she entered the room, and there the wizened Master of the Order was, sitting on his meditation mat in the center of the room and in a state of peace.
"Sit, yes, please, sit," he said, and she took a seat on the other mat and closed her eyes.
"I need your guidance," she said, and he hummed.
"Disturbing young ones, hm?"
"Botan has… revealed an ability," she admitted, and Master Yoda finally opened his eyes.
"An ability, hm? Psychometry?"
"No, it's something I've never seen before. She… stole sound. Muted the world… That silence earlier was…"
"Was her, hm?" Yoda hummed, and so, it had reached even to here. It had disturbed the entire Temple, and she was deeply, deeply concerned. "Seek guidance on this, you do?"
"There's an additional aspect to it. She can hear conversations, even all the way in the Senate," Quartz said, and she really didn't know how the little girl hadn't lost her mind. Coruscant was not a quiet planet. There was a lot to hear.
"Very concerning, yes. Very concerning indeed," Yoda said and folded his hands in his lap. "Concerned, are you?"
"Very," Quartz confirmed gravely. "She confirmed this was why her parents had given her up. She may have been too afraid to show it until now."
"Hm. Concerning, yes," Yoda agreed. "What to do, we must decide."
"I'm not sure Coruscant is good for her," Quartz admitted, because she could only imagine the hells the little girl went through on a daily basis. No wonder she was constantly up and down all night. She had to be a light sleeper.
"Stay on Coruscant, she will. To send her away, damage it will do," Yoda declared, and that… was true. She had already been sent away once because of this unique ability. That might be the first seed of bitterness in her, and Quartz couldn't justify it. "Use her to spy, we will not. Put it on her, to tell us, we will not. If she chooses to speak of it, she can. But not responsible, she is."
"Are you sure that's the wisest decision?" Quartz asked, and Yoda harrumphed.
"No wise decisions, regarding this matter, there are," he said, and that… Was true. This was a five year old child that had been handed a great responsibility, and no way out of it, beyond deafening her, and that was just cruel. "Allow her to have her natural gifts, we will, but learn, she must, that responsibility comes with age, it does."
That was… fair. It wasn't a perfect solution, but it put the power back in Botan's hands, and that little girl was all about having her own ability to make decisions. They wouldn't abuse a child for her abilities. It was just wrong, and everything the Order was against.
"Ear plugs, to sleep, she will need," Yoda added, and, oh. Quartz hadn't even thought of that.
"Yes, ear plugs," she agreed, because that was a necessity. She would add it to the shopping list. Along with a different oil for Botan's hair, because the one she had gotten last time was just not working properly for those wild curls.
Lots of things to do, little time to do them. Now, she needed to talk with Botan.
Notes:
I love Quartz so much. She's a Mirilian and I would die for her. Such a mom. Best crechemaster ever. And next up we get a fun cameo.
Chapter 5Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Ear plugs. Botan wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry, because she could not think of a worse sensory issue than ear plugs. She hated how slimy they were, how they felt in her ears, the very texture of them. She absolutely despised anything in her ears, so she wasn't looking forward to seeing how far this got. They were nice plugs, too. The kind you molded to the inside of your ears and wrapped around the outside, and she was loath to throw them away. But…
She would just have to 'lose' them, because the last thing Quartz needed was her kicking up a fuss about having to wear ear plugs when she had made such a kind gesture. Botan never made a fuss about anything, except when she did. Which she did a lot, but she didn't make a fuss like a little kid. No, she very clearly stated her concerns, but she didn't want to be a bother. There was a difference, after all. Not that she was sure what the difference was, but she knew it was there.
Oh, well. She had them now, so she might as well try them for at least one night.
Well, she had thought she'd try them for one night, but she was barely an hour in and the ear plugs were keeping her up more than the actual noises outside were, which she could vaguely hear through the plugs, but muffled, like she was underwater. She swore they were itching.
With a sigh, she pulled out the earbuds, and the sounds were a roar in her ears. It took everything a minute to quiet down, fade to something manageable, and she wondered distantly why everything was so… so… inconsistent. She heard some things, but not others. It was more like snatches of conversation were carried to her on the wind. She didn't know where to start with it. This city was always humming, too, loud and aggravating. There was always noise being generated, and it was a great monster, eating itself inside out. All it did was gobble up resources, demand more, more, more, and it was entirely unsustainable.
And it never slept. Down in the dark, people were always awake, denied being able to sleep by the cycle of the sun they never saw. It was all built on top of each other and on top of each other and on top of each other. Everyone was miserable, choked out by the smog, and the Jedi were a tiny light in the middle of it all, but reviled for being up top even as they tried their best to offer relief.
She drifted to sleep with the sound of honking speeders and the general chaos that this city lived in every day, and when she closed her eyes…
"I think you might be autistic," Rei said even as they didn't look up from painting their toes. Botan paused in the door, hand on the doorknob, and amusement boiled in her chest.
"Not even a hello?" she signed, and Rei glanced up, barely catching the end of that.
"No," they said, loud. "I was thinking about it all day. I didn't want to forget."
"Well, if I am, it's not as much as you."
"Autism," Rei said seriously before they turned their attention back to their toes, "is not a competition."
"I bet I could make it one."
Rei barely glanced up as they finished off their last pinkie toe, leaving a dab of nail polish on the skin of their toe, their nails on their little toe too small to really paint.
"If you did, you would lose," they said, still loud, not even bothering with moderating their volume, and Botan pulled the door shut.
"I like losing to you," she said, and Rei locked eyes with her.
"This is not a 'turn it into flirting' conversation," they said, serious, and closed the polish bottle. "This is a serious conversation."
"But, I missed you. You were gone all week and I come home and you wanna talk about me being autistic."
"Well, then you can know I was thinking about you a lot this week."
That was true, and affection twisted in Botan's chest as she shrugged off her leather jacket, kicked off her boots, and unzipped her jumper to drop on the ground, leaving her in nothing but underwear and a sports bra.
"Show me you missed me."
"... You distract from serious conversations with sex?"
"I want to have sex with you because I haven't seen you in a week, Happy Medium, o great intelligence pro."
"... Fine, but my nails need to dry first. Why did you drop your clothes like that when you knew my toes were wet?"
"I'm impatient."
"Well, that's too bad, you nymphomaniac."
"Oh, I'm a nymphomaniac now? Just for missing you?"
Rei squinted at Botan for a long, long moment.
"Are you teasing me?"
"Yes, I'm teasing you."
"Oh. Okay."
"At least come give me a kiss."
Rei sighed and climbed to their feet, drifting across the floor to grab Botan by the hips and lean up for a long, deep kiss, pressing into her warmth with so much heat and a vague impression of 'I missed you', and Botan…
Botan woke with a wet face and shaky hands. She could still feel the press of Rei's hands on her hips, and she swallowed down her emotion.
Right.
She had tried so hard not to think about who else she had left behind.
Her and Rei had broken up on the day of That Anniversary, and Rei had left Botan behind in the rain, arm entwined with Rin, who had come to support them, fresh out of top surgery and hurting. It had been years ago, but Botan knew they still loved her. It was just… It was just too hard. Their schedules. Never having any time for each other. The problems compounded and compounded even when they tried to cohabitate, and Rei had broken her heart.
She wished that she had gotten a second chance to do better before she died. That was one great regret. Rei probably stood in silence at her funeral, stone faced and silent, staring from underneath a fashionable black umbrella, dressed in their colors instead of white. Red and orange. They probably stuck out like a light, but Botan just knew, in her heart, that Rei had worn their colors.
They could still feel the pull of taffy orange hair in their fingers as she scratched at Rei's scalp after a long, long day, when they got their thirty minutes of each other's company before they had to go to bed.
She had lost a lot, she realized. She had lost a hell of a lot, and Rei had never really recovered from the death of Ai, either. Getting with Botan when they were so young and reckless was just delaying the grieving process. Rei never stopped feeling guilty about the girl that had died at just sixteen. Ai had been so young, with such a bright future ahead of her. She hadn't deserved the death she got. And Botan, stupid, just seventeen, had just barreled on ahead without really considering anything beyond she needed to be there for Rei, without regard to how some ways might not be the best way to be there for them.
Botan had loved them.
Botan hadn't even thought of them when she died, and she kind of wished she had, but that might have made her cry, and she didn't want to cry when she died. She wanted to face it with open eyes and a stiff upper lip and peace.
She wished she had gotten her second chance.
But, that was the thing about death. You wanted to have a second chance at a lot of things. She wanted to be less of a brat when she was a teenager. Wanted to take less hits in that fight that left her out of school for a year. Wanted to not be so covered in scars from being stupid. She wanted to shake her teenage self and say heroics wasn't worth your life. She wanted to tell teenage her to not let it hurt so much when her parents abandoned her and Best Jeanist paid for the specialist instead when she was pumped full of poison as a seventeen year old.
She had been so sensitive, and that wound had stunted her emotionally for a long, long time.
She had never quite got over it, and never spoke to her parents again. Hizashi did, eventually, after they wore him down, but they were content with never seeing her again. They had always hated her the most, out of all of their children. Hizashi was both the Golden Child and the scapegoat, occupying a weird liminal space where he was perfect in everything he did and simultaneously not enough.
It was different here. She was kind of glad to not have parents, if she was being honest. It was nicer here, with Quartz, surrounded by other kids, going through life without having to worry if she wasn't enough for everyone. She didn't have to worry about what she wanted to do in life, because she knew that no matter what decision she made, she would not let Quartz down. Quartz would accept whatever decision she made and never be disappointed in her, so long as she didn't become a sleazebag, and Botan…
Well.
It was a relief.
It really was a relief.
She liked it here more, and the realization was a shock to her chest as she wiped at her wet eyes. She missed everyone she had left behind, and missed them dearly, but she was happier here. She didn't have to make all the same mistakes twice. She could make new ones, better ones, ones that didn't hurt as much.
She could be better.
She was getting a second chance.
Notes:
okay Botan won't be alone for much longer, i just need to make a decision. a couple of decisions. like a handful. two. maybe three. we'll see. no, it's two. anyways, i had a nice nap.
Chapter 6Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Botan was seven, and there were rumors of a war on the horizon. People were pulling out of the Senate, and she had heard a lot of conversations she would rather not hear at all. The Separatists, they were calling them, and she didn't know where to start with that. She was nervous, if she was being honest, because if there was going to be a war, what role would the Jedi play? She already heard a Sith had been seen, and she knew about Sith from her lessons.
Overall, she didn't want to participate in another war, but she may not have a choice in the matter. Which was concerning for a variety of reasons, primarily because if the war did happen, she would be a child. There were rumors of sedition and treason, and the Chancellor was stoking the flame something horribly. She heard his private conversations, and she didn't trust them. There was a lot she was hearing nowadays, and her hearing had only gotten better. She had figured out how to isolate sounds and noises, and she employed that rather viciously. The more information she could find, the better. Mina Bonteri was planning to be the next person to leave and join the Separatist movement, and she didn't know if she should warn anyone about that.
No one but Obi-Wan, Quartz, and Yoda knew about her ability to hear. Everyone knew about her ability to mute, and she was often asked to do it for the other Younglings. It was still weird and uncomfortable to be a child again, and the memories still had not faded. She still remembered them with perfect clarity, and she missed her home and Japan. She missed all of her siblings and Rei and Rin and all of the friends she had made over the years, but the longer she maintained a distance from it, the more she realized how sad everything about it was.
She had no friends but other heroes. She had no hobbies, no groups she was a part of, no time for a therapist or even a psychiatrist. She had no time to go to the doctor, no time to take a nice bath, instead doing quick, five minute showers and calling it a day because she had somewhere else to be and something else to do. The only time she really had was to tease her hair up into her signature pompadour, and that was it. That was all the time she had to herself.
Rei had always had a better work life balance. Rei defended their time and sanity viciously, just as Shouta had taught them, and that was part of the reason the two of them had ended. Botan was glad they had stayed friends, but it still stung.
She had been exhausted when she died, worked down to the bone, and the crazy part was after Shigaraki's insurrection, nothing had changed for heroes except working more hours and less of a celebrity status, not that that ever affected her.
Here, there was peace at all times. She had time for hobbies, time to be a child and play in the fountains, time to raise hell and be innocent and sweet. It was sometimes criminally easy to forget she was in her early thirties. It was disturbingly easy to forget, actually.
She loved it, and she hated it. She didn't know where to start with it, and she didn't know where to go.
It was confusing.
She was still baffled at all times, confused by her placement here and confused by her identity here. Botan Yamada was both dead and alive, all at the same time, and she didn't… didn't know what to do about that.
She missed Japan.
But, she had grown used to the chaos she was constantly hearing that made up Coruscant.
"Alright, Younglings, everyone get in line," Quartz said as she very clearly took Botan's hand, and Botan scowled up at her, annoyed by the robbery of her ability to speak as she led them off the speeder and into the museum. "Today, we're going to be joined by a Jedi Knight, Quinlan Vos, and his Padawan, Aayla Secura, and he's going to be taking us through the museum and showing us the exhibits. Now, what are we going to do?"
"Behave and don't wander," all of the children intoned at once, and Botan scowled at the ground.
"That's right. We are going to behave, and we are going to remain respectful of the museum. Unless it says it's okay to touch, we don't touch, and if it says to be quiet, we're going to be quiet. This is a public space, and we are going to be respectful of the other people here," Quartz said with a warning glance at Botan, like she was somehow the troublemaker and not Hominy. Botan glared up at her, and she led Botan down the landing platform and towards a tall, tall Kiffar man with hair pulled back in dreadlocks, a stripe of gold over his nose, arms crossed, with a young blue Twi'lek next to him. Botan looked up at him, and he smiled down at her, broad and friendly.
"Hello, there. This must be Botan," he said, as if he had heard of her, and Botan turned to glare up at Quartz, because she didn't need to come with a warning label. "And this must be Hominy. Hi, kiddo."
"Hello, Knight Vos!" Hominy said brightly as she waved at this 'Quinlan', and Botan decided she was just simply going to be in a bad mood for this entire visit.
"Let's go in," Knight Vos said, and turned for the massive double doors that were open to a steady stream of people coming in and out. Quartz got a quick headcount, and then they were off.
It was fun. Exciting, even, and Knight Vos was fun and engaging, talking a mile a minute as they stopped at one exhibit after another. The current exhibition was on the ancient Mandalorian Wars, and he seemed to be incredibly knowledgeable about the topic. His hands were always active, waving around and gesticulating, and he talked about the era with a sort of exuberance that said he spent a lot of time on this topic.
"Now, the Jedi did a lot of questionable things back in the day," he said as he gestured to an exhibit with a recreation of Revan's armor, "including wiped Revan's mind and shoved a new identity in there. It was pretty messy, and that would never fly today, but they thought it was for the best."
"Question," Botan signed, and Knight Vos looked down at her, "Why didn't they just kill him if he was a Sith?"
Knight Vos blinked at her, and she wondered if he didn't understand sign, but his mouth opened, shut, and he took a deep breath it.
"Because we don't kill people for no reason."
"But, hadn't they already been killing all of his soldiers? Why was he different?" she asked, and he chewed on the inside of his mouth.
"Well…"
"Botan is a bit precocious," Quartz said and gave Botan a severe look, because she knew Botan was just asking these questions to make him squirm. "She knows why."
"No, I don't," Botan signed stubbornly, and Knight Vos took a deep breath in and went on his knee in front of her.
"Sometimes, the most important thing a Jedi can know is not when to kill someone, but when not to," he said, and she stared at him, almost feeling bad that she had forced him to take that question seriously.
"But, why?" she asked.
"I don't know. That's something you learn with age, and I don't really have a handle on it yet, myself," he admitted, and that was a fairly acceptable answer, so she would stop being a brat.
"You sure like to ask difficult questions, don't you?" he asked, and she puffed up with pride.
"Yes."
"Alright, next up is Malek," Knight Vos said as he climbed to his feet, but Aayla was looking at Botan with considering eyes, her eyes flicking between Botan and her master with some kind of unknown expression on her face. Thoughtful, maybe.
"What?" she asked Aayla, and Aayla shrugged.
"Nothing," the older girl replied. "Just thinking."
"About what?" Botan demanded, because she felt like being a problem today, and Aayla smiled.
"About when my apprenticeship ends," she replied, and Botan abruptly decided to stop asking questions, because she didn't like that knowing smile on Aayla's lips. Something had happened, and Botan had missed it, and that was that.
"Alright, so we're going to talk about Malek now," Knight Vos said and launched into a long spiel about Revan's right hand man and the complications that he faced, and Botan listened quietly, just watching him talk up a storm as his hands flapped and waved, not really signing, just moving, because he couldn't apparently stay still.
It was nice, she thought.
There was a war brewing, and couple was in the midst of an argument over a piece in another room, and there were a lot of distractions, but she could see that things were calm for now. She only wished that it would last, and she had to wonder why this field trip was planned. This was a complicated subject for seven year olds, and she wondered if this was because there was a war on the horizon. Was this in preparation for that, a reassurance that the Jedi had survived a war once, and would survive again? Was that it?
She didn't know, honestly. It could be true, but…
They were coming to the end of the exhibit, and Knight Vos turned to all of them, cleared his throat, and began to speak.
"The Jedi Order has a long history of bloodshed," he said, and Botan glanced back to the Revan armor on its stand. It was a masterful recreation, and a lot of love had clearly been put into it. "We have been in many wars, and have lived through them."
"Is this because we may go to war again?" Botan signed, and Knight Vos frowned down at her.
"How do you know about that?" he asked, and Botan glanced up at Quartz.
"Botan hears a lot of things she shouldn't," Quartz said and carefully crouched in front of Botan. "Yes, we're probably going to war, Botan, but we're holding out hope it can be solved with diplomacy for now."
Botan pulled a face, because she didn't trust a single Senator in the Senate as far as she could throw them, and she held no hopes for them just 'working it out', and Quartz grimaced at the expression on her face.
"It may not happen," Quartz said to the group of children. "But, if it does, this will not be the first war the Jedi has faced, nor will it be the last. It's going to be very confusing for you all, but we will get through it, and that's what matters."
"Why do we have to go to war?" Hominy demanded, and Quartz smiled softly. "Isn't that the Senate's problem, not ours?"
"Because we have made an oath to the Republic," she said. "We are duty bound to serve them, to the best we can."
"Well, I don't think that's very fair. We didn't do anything," Hominy said, and Botan quietly agreed.
"It's not about fairness. It's about what is right, and what is wrong, and the people the Separatists have been gathering to lead their military are not good people," Quartz said patiently, and Botan had to wonder what that meant. She had already survived one war. She didn't want to have to survive another.
"No one wins in war. They just survive," Botan said, and Knight Vos stared down at her, visibly disturbed, and Botan looked away, towards the armor recreation for Revan.
She didn't put on armor last time. Would she have to this time?
Notes:
there's some furious arguments going on in the server about which Master Botan should go to. i personally think her and quinlan would be hilarious.
Chapter 7Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
"Alright, how does it feel?" Jedi Master Gun-Jin asked as Botan flexed her hand, and she gave him a thumbs-up. "Not uncomfortable at all? Poking?"
Botan shook her head no and studied the strange bracelet on her wrist. It had a screen on it with a keypad, and now that she was in more classes with masters that did not have time to learn sign language, it would be an absolute necessity. It kind of reminded her of how she used to use a reading application on her phone in her past life. She could type into it, and it would read out what she said.
"Okay, now try it," Gun-Ji said, and Botan tapped out 'h-e-l-l-o.'
"Hello," the bracelet read, and she startled a little at the mechanical voice.
"Well, it seems to be working," Gun-Ji said warmly, and Botan flexed her hand, twisting it this way and that to make sure it sat comfortably. It did, and she opened up her arms and hugged him.
This would make her life so much easier, she thought distantly, and he hugged her back. She could now communicate with more people that didn't understand her. Gone were the days of carrying around a pad of flimsi and losing pens and pencils. She could just use this, and it was going to make her life so much better. It would have to be traded out often as she grew, as she was only eight, but she was okay with that.
"It has translation software programmed into it, but we haven't gotten it yet to the point where it can translate a lot of languages. Only about fifty," Gun-Ji said, and Botan nodded. "It can't translate those languages for you, either. Maybe with the next few updates."
"That's okay," she typed out, and he smiled at her.
"Alright, let me just run some diagnostics on it, and then you can leave," he said as he plugged it into a datapad and started running the diagnostics. Botan sat patiently, trying not to wiggle too much, and he hummed as he sat on the bed next to her. The doors to the healing halls opened, and Botan looked up as a familiar person limped in, looking a hot mess. Knight Vos's hair was wild, pulled out of the ponytail she had seen him in last time, singed, and he was covered in soot and mess. She could smell him from here, and she recoiled slightly as Master Gun-Ji looked up and took in the sight of him.
"Knight Vos," he called as he came to his feet, and Botan registered that Knight Vos's wrist was swollen and puffy. What happened to him? "What happened to you?"
"Jumped a bit too high up," Knight Vos replied as he limped towards them. "Botan, right?"
Botan waved at him, and he slumped down in the bed next to them. How high did he fall from that he couldn't catch himself in time?
"Where's your padawan?" Master Gun-Ji asked as he left the datapad on the bed and pushed Knight Vos back on the bed so he could ease off Knight Vos's boot, accompanied by a hiss from the Jedi.
"Mmf--- She's in class," Knight Vos replied as Master Gun-Ji got the boot off and pulled off his sock to reveal a swollen ankle.
"Well, it's definitely broken," Master Gun-Ji said. "Let me get a bone mender configured and pop you in it. Botan, darling, would you tell me when those diagnostics are finished?"
Botan signed a quick 'okay', and Master Gun-Ji turned aside, satisfied as he made his way off.
"Getting a way to talk?" Knight Vos asked with a broad, tight smile, and Botan stared at him, inexpressive.
"Don't strain yourself," she said, and he laughed.
"You're a mean little girl," he said, fond, and Botan soundlessly huffed. "It's a big day for you; don't be in such a bad mood."
"I'm not in a bad mood. I'm just mean," she said, and he grinned at her.
"Well, you got me there. Are you excited about your communicator?"
"No," she said, even though she was, and he lett his head thump back on the pillow with a huff of air. He was clearly in a lot of pain, and she had to wonder what had happened.
"What do you want to do after all this?" he asked, and she tilted her head.
"What?"
"I mean, what do you want to do with your life? Any plans? Want to be a Knight?" he asked, and she hesitated at that. What did she want to do?
"I want to join ExplorCorps," she replied, because that was the dream. To be away from all of the noise and chaos of Coruscant, to be out in the wild and hunting down the source of distant sounds and disturbances in the Force. She wanted to be able to do that.
"Oh? That's a lot of math," he said, and math, at least, was easy for her.
"I know," she replied, and he turned so he was facing her more.
"Have you thought about being a Knight?" he asked, and she shook her head no.
One war was enough. She didn't want to participate in a second. All the other kids in the creche dreamed of joining the Knights, even though it wasn't for everyone, but she… She wanted a little peace and quiet.
"You may not have a choice," he murmured, and, yes, there was that, too. If there was a draft, she may get sent into the ranks of Knights. That stung, but if it was as the Force willed it…
She had come to believe in the Force. It was hard not to, seeing evidence of it everywhere. She often dreamed of the Temple burning, and she had to wonder if anyone else shared those dreams with her. Of a hooded man speaking, though she couldn't understand the words. Of men in shiny white armor marching in perfectly straight lines, of cities burning in her senses, of a little Twi'lek girl leading two soldiers through the sewers. She dreamed of a lot of things, but she never told Quartz about them. Somehow, some sixth sense told her to dream so vividly of the future was a good sign for a future Knight, and she didn't want to be a Knight.
Botan had not believed in much before. She was Buddhist, but that was less of a religion and more of a life philosophy. Higher powers were a bit beyond her. But, she believed in the Force, and she didn't like what the Force was trying to show her. Wasn't she too young for that, anyway? She didn't even know how old she was anymore. Eight, probably. It was just confusing.
She wanted to do more with her time here. She thought she had given enough to a cause before, and it wasn't the Jedi way to be selfish, but she thought she had a right to be selfish. She had died, dammit.
"I know," she said, and Knight Vos was quiet.
"Though I can't see you leading an army," he added, as an afterthought. "So, maybe not."
Right. Because of her 'disability'. That kind of stung a little, but he was only stating the truth, so she couldn't be that mad at him. She couldn't lead an army, because people needed to be able to understand her, and if her bracelet was damaged, everyone was shit out of luck. She needed to be able to speak quickly, too, and efficiently. Yes, ExplorCorps would be the best for her.
She was tired of war. She didn't know why she had been put here so soon to another one. It was a bit rude, if you asked her. The Republic had enjoyed several thousand years of peace, and she had been put down here right before a new war. It was insulting, honestly. Insulting.
"It probably won't happen, though," Knight Vos said, airy and light, and she gave him a look of disbelief, because she heard things all the time, and she knew this was leading nowhere but down.
"Don't lie," she said, and he smiled at her.
"I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"No, I'm not."
"Are, too."
"You're such a mistrustful little thing. Who hurt you?" he teased, and she huffed at him as the datapad pinged to let her know the diagnostics had finished.
"Master Gun-Ji, the diagnostics are done!" Knight Vos called loudly, and she glared at him, because she was supposed to do that.
"Oh, are they?" Master Gun-Ji asked as he rolled out the bone mender and a package of wipes. "Clean yourself up, Knight Vos."
The wipes were tossed on his lap with the Force, and he struggled to sit up and start wiping down his bare foot. Botan watched, and Master Gun-Ji picked up the datapad and scrolled over the results.
"Looks like it's functioning perfectly," he said warmly and started to disconnect the bracelet. "You can run along to your creche now and show all your friends."
"Okay," Botan signed as she slipped down from the bed, and Knight Vos reached out and grabbed her by the sleeve with one gloved hand.
"Hey," he said, and she stared up at him. "Don't be so doom and gloom all the time. There's a bright side to everything."
"There's not a bright side to war," she signed as he let her go so she could talk, and he smiled at her.
"No, but there's bright spots in the middle of it," he said.
She wasn't so sure of that.
Notes:
this one is a little shorter, hope you all don't mind. anyways, i don't remember if i posted the invite link on this one, so here it is.
https://discord.gg/f6hYwutNMe