Hitomi POV
He's definitely getting better, the way he speaks...and acts are different than when I first talked with him.
Last week, he finally opened up to me.
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A false accusation? Are you kidding me? Fraud? He could never do anything like that.
What type of highschool did he go to...? What type of scumbags...?
What type of parents did he have? What type of mom wouldn't want to take his side? It was so awful hearing about it all.
So many awful, terrible things were done to him.
He....even said he wanted to die...
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It makes me want to cry thinking of it. I don't want to think of him like that, I want to see him smile more, laugh, and...love.
No one took his side, his family, his childhood friend, everyone abandoned him. He said people even hit him over this...! How disgusting.
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He looked traumatized. Even his sister told him that she hated him during such a hard time!
The only evidence they held was a recording of some screaming, and a highschooler came to the door and was asking for money. Two girls dressed like delinquents probably. Are you kidding me? What a blatant scam!
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It's insane to think anyone believed them.
Highschoolers are so easily manipulated, and this is what happens with it. This is how easily a life can be ruined, but I'll fix him. I'll make him happy, I swear it.
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Do they even know they nearly killed their own son? Do they know he almost killed himself?
What about his sister? His eyes looked to be in so much sadness talking about her...Ayumi? Wasn't it?
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Then he left his entire life behind and walked here from...
...Saitama...?
That was almost a one-hour drive, let alone walk...? It must have taken hours...
He really...almost died, didn't he?
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Just thinking about that scares me, ever since I found him crying inside of his makeshift tent on the streets, I felt awful.
But now....
I think I feel protective...I want to be there for him...he's mine. He's someone for me to take care of now.
Everyone else isn't...allowed to touch him. I don't want them near him. I won't let them.
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I don't want him to think that I'd invite any random man into my house and take care of them, care and caress them. He's the only one I'd do this for.
I think this is the outlier...we just kind of...clicked. He's someone...special to me.
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I really get along with him, and I want to see what he looks like when he isn't in pain. I want to be there for him. I need to heal him. I can't control myself at times. I ended up holding him tightly.
Even thinking about it now...is making me blush. I want him...so much. He's all mine....
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Then I remembered, I'm still in class.
"Hitomi...?" Yuki asked me, she was sitting to the left of me.
"Huh...? Oh...yeah?" I replied back to her, snapping out of a daze.
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"Hmmmmmm..." She said looking at me.
"Soooo....who were you thinking about...?"
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Did she see my face earlier...?
"Don't you lie to me Hitomi...is it that guy you introduced us to...?"
I looked away with some slight embarrassment in my face.
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"Yeah...it was, I can't get anything past you Yuki..." I replied
Then we both faced forward in the lecture we were listening to, since it looked like the teacher was finishing up.
"Hehehe you're right, you can't get anything past me...!" She said confidently.
"But for real he was good looking....but he was a little quiet wasn't he...?" She asked. "Who is he?"
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I know he's hurting and everything and really doesn't talk much to others besides me at this point.
I want him to be happy of course, but at times...I feel happy he's dependent on me. Maybe I'm horrible for thinking that, but I can't help it.
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He thinks he's weak, but he's here trying...and still breathing, even if he has...those thoughts sometimes.
It makes me nauseous even thinking of his mental state, I don't want him to die. I can't let him do that.
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I'm still scared he may hold those thoughts still; I don't want him to disappear and never return. I want him to return, I can't even think about him not coming home.
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Even the small things are starting to get to me, for example when I saw him smile for the first time, my heart fluttered. I'm scared to tell him, but I don't know how long I can hold my feelings in for.
It was after that flower shop, where we...held hands for the first time.
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Maybe he likes flowers? I'm not sure, either way it was a welcome happiness.
I even caught him staring at me this morning, but he looked away quickly.
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Like I never said stop, I didn't want him looking away from me.
His eyes are so addicting. He looked kind of flustered, it was so...addicting. It made me red enough that I had to wash my face off afterwards...
God.
What is happening to me?
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I'm not some lovesick girl from a shounen manga, this is real life, but it's also the first time someone made me feel...like this.
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Like I want to do something right, just for him.
I didn't even know what I was doing, I reached out and held his hand last week.
It was completely on impulse...but he didn't pull away or anything, and we interlocked fingers. Even thinking about it now makes my head want to explode.
But we acted like nothing had happened.
All on repeat, the entire time... All I thought was...
Ohmygodohmygod.
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I'm even red now thinking about it.
Does he even know what he's doing to me?
...
His hand was warm. We haven't held hands since though, but maybe he didn't like it...?
That kinda scares me...
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Ugh, what am I doing...
Yuki poked me again with her pen, whispering under her breath.
...
"Hitomi... you're totally falling for him, huh?"
I tried to deny it.
...
But I just sighed, my fingers twitching around my pencil.
"...Yeah. I think I am."
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And the scary part? All I can think about is how I want to fall even more for him.
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I just hope he doesn't think I'm weird or something...
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Haruki POV.
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Hitomi doesn't know it yet, but I ended up taking that job at the flower shop. The old man was legit on the job offer.
I really don't like speaking with people, and the old man caught onto it so he has me working in the back.
It basically entails just trimming dead branches and maintaining.
...
I'm not sure what he saw in me, I was captivated by some flowers, sure, but I'm not really someone mentally well enough for work.
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I think he knows this, he tries to make sure I feel comfortable with my work, I'm not sure why he's so kind to me.
...
My day kind of looks like this.
I walk Hitomi to campus in the morning.
I come home.
I change, then go to work.
Then I leave work and come back home to change again.
Then I walk her home, or to work depending on the day of the week.
...
I haven't told her yet, mainly because I don't want her to worry about me or something. This is a step I want to make for myself.
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It's nice, tending to such beautiful things. It's less of a job, and more so something that I think keeps me busy, it makes me feel important.
I just want to do right by him, it's been a week and I can tell the poor man just really needed help in his store.
But, to be completely honest...This job will help me keep a healthier routine.
And maybe I'll finally be able to help Hitomi out, at least financially...since I don't want to live as a freeloader off of her, someone so kind.
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I...haven't turned back on my phone since last week, but it may be a good idea to...with work and my new situation...
Maybe I'll wait for my first paycheck, and switch my sim card out for a new number.
Since I don't want anyone to be able to contact me.
...
I wonder what those messages were about last week though, I had a lot in my inbox.
I didn't read them though.
I know it doesn't matter anymore, and I know that they were all likely just hatred filling up my inbox, but still, maybe there was one person that actually believed me somewhere...?
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No...I doubt it, not a single person believed me. I don't think anyone actually cared enough to send me a message that wasn't full of hatred.
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I'm alone....well actually, maybe not alone anymore. My old life is dead, yet I still feel curious at times of its grave.
Maybe it's a slippery slope, I don't know.
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But, I'll never talk to them again.
The closest thing I have to a family is Hitomi. I need to cherish her with everything I have. I can't lose her.
She's my last bastion of sanity. I've known her for a small amount of time, but I hold her close to my heart.
I...think I'm starting to trust her...and it scares me.
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It's hard being human.
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Ayumi POV
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It was raining outside again; Saitama is in its rainy season this time of the year.
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I haven't really left the house in a long time, and I haven't been to school in over a week now, I can't even bring myself to leave.
Everything hurts. Everything reminds me of him.
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I refuse to believe he's dead. Everyone else does, but I know how strong my brother is. He's not dead.
...
Even the police hadn't contacted us about any updates, nothing had happened. They said he's likely...killed himself somewhere no one could find him.
I drove my own brother towards these thoughts regardless, I don't think he's dead, but he's...not okay. I know this.
It's my fault.
It's my mother's fault.
It's my father's fault.
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Then out of nowhere I heard something that made me jump.
*Knock*Knock*Knock*
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This would have made my mom jump; she's been pretty frantic lately. I think she's scared they'll find his body soon or something.
I hope I'm not wrong, because if he really...truly is dead. I'll never forgive myself.
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But....unexpectedly it wasn't mom.
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It was a familiar face, drenched in rain still in her school uniform, which is weird because it's around noon.
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"Oh, Fukushima, are...you okay?" I asked out loud, while she stood in the doorway, absolutely drenched.
I probably didn't look presentable, but I don't care. Bags underneath my eyes, I've been wearing the same sweatpants for days now. My hair is all over the place.
And I'm sure I smell; I need to shower, but I can't find any motivation for anything.
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I know I'm disgusting, but I can't find the energy to do anything productive.
I'm sorry Haruki, your sister is a disgusting person.
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"Check your phone, Ayumi!!! C-Check it right now!!!" She said back, quite frantically.
I kind of stood there stunned, I didn't really expect her to be at my door, soaking wet yelling at me.
"NOW, CHECK IT NOW, IT'S ABOUT HARUKI!!!"
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She's got a scary look on her face.
Wait...
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Oh my god....did they find...him? Did they find his body? Is that why she's so frantic?
I can't take it if they did....my mind is going to snap.
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My face felt pale.
"F-Fukashima, please, just tell me from your own mouth." I asked back, desperately. "Did they...find my brother?"
I started crying slightly. Something I'm quite used to nowadays.
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I had to hear it from someone in person, not over a phone if they found it...
My brother's body...
"Did they...find his body...?"
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"No, no no check it! He....he turned on his phone!"
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I hadn't checked my phone in about a week, so it's been lying dead while I've been wallowing in my own depression.
So, I invited her inside and threw my phone on the charger.
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The wait felt indefinite.
...
Then...
1% Charged.
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I immediately turned on my phone, and Fukashima was crying, she had tears down her face while glimpsing over my shoulder.
It looked like she was soaked, but I don't care.
I'm scared, and I think she is too.
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I need to tell mom.
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Then I saw it.
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Message Read: Yesterday at: 1928
Contact: Haruki.
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No....way...?
...
He's...he's alive? I was...right?
My throat closed and I started sobbing, ugly sobbing that wouldn't stop no matter how hard I tried to breathe.
I couldn't breathe.
I couldn't even cry like a normal person, it was more like gasping uncontrollably and panicking.
I gripped my chest, my fingers curling over the fabric of my shirt like I was trying to tear the pain out of me. It really hurt.
"Haruki..."
...
His name left my lips like it wasn't real, like I wasn't allowed to say it anymore.
But there it was—right in front of me.
I started to shake all over. My tears hit the floor beneath me fast, I couldn't stop them, I didn't care.
"Fukashima—" I choked out, but nothing else followed.
...
She was already beside me, arms bracing my shoulders, like I might fall through the floor.
And I might've.
Because for the past month... all I could think about was him lying somewhere cold and alone. I told myself he was still alive, but I had no proof. I was scared he was...actually dead.
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I was the one who helped bury him.
And now I know he never died, I know he's still out there.
I sobbed harder into my hands. I'm disgusted with myself.
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How could I still be here breathing, cooped up at home, while he was out there all this time?
I let everyone turn against him.
Or I tried to...just to get him to apologize for something he never did.
And now he's alive... and I don't deserve to know it.
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Then...
I heard the front door unlock.
A key turning, and I froze in place.
Fukashima's hand tightened on my arm.
My heart dropped to my stomach, and then Mom walked inside.
She's home.
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Her usual walk, she always comes back at this time. She hadn't given up on him yet.
She never says where she's going, but we know. She's out there looking for him.
Wandering streets and parks and train stations with a photo in her purse and tears in her eyes, always holding out hope.
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We heard the bag hit the table. Her footsteps are coming closer.
"Ayumi, I'm home." she called out gently.
I couldn't answer her.
I couldn't even stand up.
I was still on the floor, phone trembling in my grip, hands shaking, face red and wet and ruined.
She turned the corner into the hallway.
She saw me.
And then stopped, she was frozen like a statue.
She didn't even blink.
Her eyes jumped from me, to Fukashima, and then down to the glowing phone in my hand.
The bag she was holding slipped from her fingers.
Thump.
...
"...What...?"
Her voice cracked so sharply it made something in my chest snap.
I turned the phone to face her, I didn't speak or anything, I just held it towards her and showed her.
Message: Read.
...
Her eyes landed on the screen.
Her lips parted.
And then—
She dropped to her knees in front of me.
Like the air had been knocked out of her lungs, yet she didn't even try to breathe.
...
She just broke right there on the floor.
She started wailing, with raw emotion. The kind of cry that doesn't care about dignity or volume or neighbors.
It was an animalistic cry, like a child who hurt themselves.
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"My son—" she screamed, clinging to my arm like I could prove it was real. "Haruki...he's alive... he's alive..."
She curled in on herself, still sobbing.
I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her.
All three of us were crying now, even Fukashima started.
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Crying like kids, we deserve this.
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Eventually, when the sobbing quietly evolved into hiccups and gasps, Mom whispered something...
"Call them. Call the police. We have to find him..."
"Y-yeah..."
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I was already dialing, my hands were still trembling, but I managed.
The dispatcher picked up.
I tried to explain, but the words stuck in my throat, so I handed the phone to Mom.
She took over, sniffling and trembling, trying to hold herself together as she begged them to trace the phone.
"We just saw him turn on his phone! Please, please, I think my son is alive...his phone...it turned on again after all this time...please can you locate it...?"
She was practically crying into the receiver.
...
They already knew about Haruki, as it had evolved into a popular local story of cruelty.
I was praying out loud. I didn't even realize I was.
Please. Please. Just tell us where. Tell us anything.
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But after a long pause, the voice on the other end spoke.
And it felt like the world cracked again.
"I'm sorry ma'am. His phone appears to be turned off again."
"We can't locate it."
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My mother's face fell all over again.
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"No... no, no, no... please, try again... try again...he's out there, he's alive, you don't understand—"
Fukashima placed a hand on her shoulder.
We sat there. All three of us. On the floor. Surrounded by silence and shadows and a hope that had been yanked away too fast.
...
But this time...even if he was gone, I knew one thing.
Haruki was...alive.
I won't stop until I find him, even if it takes everything I have. I need this.
Even if he hates me.
Even if it takes the rest of my life.
No matter how far.
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I'll bring my brother home.