Haruki POV.
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I'm not sure how I feel anymore, I'm mainly just confused.
The thoughts in my head still get dark at times, reminding me of hellish times...
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I have things to be grateful for, sure, but I have things that haunt me as well.
I think that's just part of being human though. Everyone goes through their own hardships, some more than others, but at the end of the day.
We are all human, and we all have our snapping points.
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Mine was found when I was digging half of an onigiri out of the trash behind a FamilyMart.
It's been two months since I left Saitama.
I started working at the flower shop last week, and I'm learning so many new things. Botany is a nice peacetime, it helps me forget the bad thoughts that I get when Hitomi isn't around.
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The thing is, I want to surprise her, I still haven't told her about my new job so I've been trying to manage walking her to and from everything, while also working.
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I haven't told her, mainly because I'm not sure how'd she think about it ...it's sad to say, but I'm worried she'd tell me to leave now that I'm on my feet.
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Which is completely normal of course, I mean I'm some random boy, right...?
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But maybe we aren't such strangers anymore, we even held hands last week.
Although...
We haven't done anything since, I'm still not sure what is going through her head.
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Anyways, I need to get something to help out around the house.
So, I decided for my first few paychecks I plan on giving it straight to grocery funds or something.
I'll let her have it, and use it how she wants.
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"Hey kid! Come here for a second...!" The old man yelled at me from the front.
I heard him yell my name, and so I finished cutting some of the dead branches off of the plant I was working on, and headed over.
Dirt covered my arm, but I didn't care, it's a show of my hard work.
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The shop looks a lot more organized than when I first walked in last week, partly because I moved the heavier plants around the shop.
There was this big potted fern in the corner, which was wilting at the top because the old man wasn't able to reach it to cut some dead branches.
I finished and put my clippers away in the back, before washing up and heading out towards the front.
He was sitting in an old chair close to the floor at the front desk.
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"Anything else I can help with sir...?" I said quietly, mainly just acknowledging that I'm here.
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"You've been so helpful." he said, leaning back in the chair behind, the sunlight pooling in from the front window.
"Really, I didn't think I'd find someone who cared this much about the place."
"...Thank you." I said softly. "I'm just trying to... do things right, I guess."
He tilted his head a bit, giving me a curious look.
"You know, I've been doing this for a long time. I've seen all kinds walk through that door..."
"People looking to buy something pretty, something for a funeral, something to say sorry or congratulations..."
He looked down at the floor for a moment, almost like he was remembering something painful.
"But then every once in a while... someone walks in like they're trying to keep themselves from falling apart."
"Like just being near something alive might keep them grounded."
He looked up again, meeting my eyes.
"That was you, wasn't it?"
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I didn't answer, because he was right.
That first day, when Hitomi and I stumbled onto this place, I felt something weird.
And now I was back here every day, pruning leaves and watering pots like it was the one of the few things keeping my chest from caving in.
He smiled, not smug or proud, just... knowing.
"Thought so, that's why I didn't hesitate to offer the job."
I looked at him again, genuinely confused.
"But why me? I mean... I'm not even.."
Then I stopped myself.
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Not even what? Not even normal? Not even healed? Not even human?
He waved a hand like he already knew what I was trying to say.
"Come on kid, you can't trick me... just stay safe alright, and keep that enthusiasm for the shop...?"
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"You've earned this paycheck, Haruki, don't let anyone make you think otherwise."
He pushed a small envelope across the counter.
"You're doing good, son, don't stop."
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I took it with both hands, bowing a little.
He didn't say anything else, just turned back to the tray of potted mint by the window, gently brushing his fingers along their tops like he always did when he thought no one was watching.
I slipped the envelope into my bag and quietly left the shop through the back.
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The sun was setting already.
Shit, I lost track of time... I...I might be late getting her!!
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Hitomi POV.
Class ended half an hour ago, and Haruki still isn't here...
After about ten minutes, I started to get kind of worried.
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Then fifteen.
...
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Then thirty.
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Oh god...
What...what happened...? He's never been late before.
My mind was racing, and anxiety started to creep into my chest like a stake.
Where could he have gone? Why is he late? Did something happen...?
Did he...
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My mind went blank, I can't think about that.
But what if...? What if it happened?
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What if he left me?
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It's only been thirty minutes though, maybe he's just late...
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What if he's hurting again...? And I'm not there for him this time.
Would he hurt himself or something?
..
So, I started moving...
I started walking home in the usual way, the same way he walks me every single day, this time a lot faster though.
"Oh god please...be asleep at home or something.." I whispered to myself as I was walking faster and faster.
I was looking down, praying, not realizing it's been a few minutes already.
Then it hit me.
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THUMP—
I fell down on my butt.. something ran into me...
"Ow..." I said, looking up.
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It was another girl, probably in highschool or something, she had blonde hair which is unlike normal Japanese girls, she was wearing some outdoorsy type clothes and had her hair in pigtails.
She had stumbled, and almost fell over herself, but she caught herself on the railing to the left of us I didn't realize was there.
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"Hey...! What's your deal...!" She said to me, rubbing her shoulder.
I stood up and said—
"Sorry! I didn't mean to run into you—but I need to go!"
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Then ran away, she looked at me confused from a distance.
Haruki was what mattered right now, I don't care that I ran into someone.
I need to find him.
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It's been about seven minutes since I left school, and I'm already almost home.
I haven't seen him yet...please be safe.
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Then I saw a silhouette in the distance, left of the apartment buildings we live in.
It was Haruki.
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I immediately ran up to him... and I couldn't control myself.
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Haruki POV.
...huh...?
Why is Hitomi running towards me...?
I bet she's angry I was late to pick her up.
That I can't even do that right,
Maybe that voice in my head is right...maybe I am useless.
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Then—
...huh...?
Why am...I being hugged...?
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After she ran up to me, she wrapped her arms around me like she thought I was dying.
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"W-Waauaahhhhhh...I-Izumi.."
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Was she crying...out loud?
I returned her hug with one of my own, she felt so frail in my arms.
I couldn't help it.
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"A-Are you okay Hitomi...?"
"NO, you're an idiot Haruki....an idiot...I thought something bad had happened..."
"An-and I couldn't get in touch with you or anything..." She said, sobbing her eyes out.
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I'm useless, I didn't mean to make her upset, I didn't know she'd be this upset about it...
"I'm sorry...I've been meaning to te—"
"I don't care!" she cut me off, clutching me even tighter.
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Her fingers balled up around the back of my shirt, like she was afraid I might disappear.
"You scared me, Haruki... You scared me so bad..."
I didn't know what to say, and my throat tightened.
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I could feel her chest trembling against mine, her breathing hitched and uneven.
Her voice cracked a little...
"I—I thought you were gone." she whispered, barely audible now.
"I thought maybe you... you didn't want to come back."
My eyes burned.
I didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve her.
"I would never just leave you, Hitomi."
I said it fast and desperate like I wanted her to believe me.
"I was just late. I—I had to finish something, and I lost track of time. "
"I'm sorry, I should've been on time, I just... didn't think."
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I felt her slowly pull back, just enough to look me in the eyes. Her cheeks were stained with tears, and her bangs stuck slightly to her forehead from sweating her way here.
"You didn't think...?" she said softly.
Then she thumped her fist against my chest, not hard.
"You're so stupid sometimes...!"
I gave a small, bitter laugh, rubbing the back of my neck.
"I know. I'm sorry. I really am..."
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I reached into my bag and pulled out the envelope. It was still warm from my hand gripping it so tightly.
"This is why I was late."
She blinked, looking down at the envelope.
"...What is it?"
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"My first paycheck, from the flower shop."
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She blinked twice.
"Wait—what?"
I smiled a little awkwardly.
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"Yeah, I've been working there all week. I didn't tell you because... I wanted to surprise you..."
Hitomi stared at me, like her brain was still trying to catch up with her heart.
"You've been working this whole time...?"
"I tried to make it work without you noticing, but I guess..."
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I scratched my head, a little embarrassed.
"I'm not as good at hiding stuff as I thought."
She just... stared for a long, and quiet moment.
Her lips trembled slightly, her brows knit together like she didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or punch me.
Then she launched herself at me a second time.
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Tighter, and warmer than the last.
This time I hugged her back without hesitation. I closed my eyes, breathing her in like she was the only thing I trusted in this world.
"You idiot," she whispered again, sounding more kind than the last.
"Don't ever do that again, if you're going to surprise me, at least make sure you can contact me..."
I nodded against her check pressed into my shoulder.
"Yeah... I promise."
She pulled back and looked at the envelope in my hands.
"I wanted to give you this, for groceries or rent or whatever, I just wanted to help."
"...You dummy."
She took the envelope gently from my hand, but then smiled and pressed it right back into my chest.
"We're buying dinner together, sometime soon, alright?"
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My chest tightened. I don't remember the last time someone said "we" and meant me too.
"...Okay."
The sun dipped low behind the buildings.
The street lamps were flickering on.
And somehow, despite all the weight I still carried inside me...
I felt light.
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Then she grabbed my hand again, and started walking home as usual.
I think...I'm in love with her.
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Chisaki POV.
It's been a few weeks since moving to Kawasaki, and I start school tomorrow.
I'm not sure what to expect, I've never gone to school outside of Saitama, and I'm kind of scared.
It's not going to be that much different, will it?
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My parents have been getting acclimated to their new jobs and environment, and I'm trying to as well.
But it's difficult, I don't know anyone or anywhere.
So, I thought it was time to learn, or at least try.
I put on some boots, some jeans and a top and started walking outside.
The neighborhood is really clean, and the rivers spouting around really makes it look pretty, especially in the evenings.
The cicadas were chirping while the heat died down, there really aren't many cars here either, so a lot of people just wall.
Then it happened when I wasn't paying attention.
THUMP–
I nearly fell down, but caught myself at the last second on the railing.
"Hey...! What was that for...!" I said looking down at the person who bumped into me.
It was a brown-haired woman, she looked kind of frantic, and her hair was on the fritz. She looked to have been crying earlier, and her eyes weren't looking where she was walking, I'd have guessed.
Maybe a college student I don't know.
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Then, she got up and started running again without even apologizing properly.
"Sorry—but I've gotta go...!" She yelled at me, without even looking back.
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Dang...
Are people here normally this rude?
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I'm just glad I didn't fall or something.
I think that's enough walking for the day, I've got to make it back home.
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She was pretty tall though...