Twenty-five minutes later, Jaokhun's vision was still blurry, but Onepen decided that was fine.
"You can see well enough for a presentation!" She helped him stand up. "Come on! Everyone's waiting!"
"My eyes feel like someone replaced them with melted cheese."
"That's the integration process! Very normal! Let's go!"
She led him to the conference room. Pradit was already sitting at the table, drinking his third coffee of the morning and looking at his phone like it owed him money. Somsong sat next to him, knitting something. Grace was scrolling through her phone, probably looking at cat photos. Prart had three notebooks open and two different colored pens ready. Chakrit was in the corner, holding a screwdriver for some reason.
"Sit here!" Onepen pointed at a chair near the front.
Jaokhun sat down. Through his blurry vision, he could see Grace showing Somsong something on her phone.
"That's Sugar dressed as a doctor," Grace was saying. "I made the tiny stethoscope myself."
"Very professional," Somsong replied warmly.
"She's considering a career in medicine."
"The cat?"
"She has the temperament for it."
Onepen turned on the projector. It made a grinding noise like it was preparing to explode, flickered twice, then showed a title slide.
WELCOME TO LMFAO: UNDERSTANDING THE VEIL AND YOUR CAREER PATH
There was clip art of a smiling sun. The sun looked too happy. Suspiciously happy.
"Okay! Let's start with the most important question!" Onepen clicked her remote. "Why could you see the two mythical entities on Friday when nobody else could?"
"Because the universe hates me?"
"No! Because you have the Sight!" She clicked to the next slide. "THE SIGHT: 1 IN 1,000,000."
The slide had a pie chart. One tiny sliver was colored in. The rest was grey.
"One in one million people can naturally see through the Veil under the right conditions. In Thailand's population of 70 million, that's about seventy people total. Most of them never realize they have it."
"Let me guess," Jaokhun said. "They never end up standing next to a river at exactly the wrong time when two gods are having a tantrum?"
Pradit snorted into his coffee.
"Exactly!" Onepen looked pleased. "The Sight is the genetic trait. But manifestations require specific conditions. The Veil isn't solid everywhere. It's thinner at certain locations. Old temples, sacred trees, places with lots of spiritual history."
She clicked to show a map covered in highlighted spots. It looked like someone had attacked Bangkok with a yellow marker.
"The Veil is also thinner at certain times. Dawn, dusk, full moons, festival days, and apparently mid-morning on Fridays when major entities are arguing about cultural significance."
"So I had bad luck and good timing."
"Exactly! You have the Sight. You were at a thin location. It was a moderately weak time. Two major entities were manifesting with enough energy to make the Veil extra thin. All conditions aligned. You saw them." Onepen smiled. "Lucky you!"
"I don't feel lucky."
"You have a job! That's lucky!"
"I have 47 baht and melted technology in my eyes. That's not lucky. That's a cry for help."
Grace laughed. Pradit didn't look up but his shoulders shook slightly.
Onepen clicked to the next slide. "VEILSIGHT TECHNOLOGY: SEEING ALL THE TIME."
The slide showed a diagram of an eye with a tiny device highlighted.
"Your natural Sight only works sometimes, under specific conditions. But LMFAO employees need to see through the Veil all the time, anywhere, reliably. That's what VeilSight does. It enhances your natural Sight and makes it permanent and constant."
"Why does everyone here need it?" Jaokhun asked. "Grace answers phones. Does she need to see ghosts to answer phones?"
"Yes!" Grace said. "Last month a ghost called asking about filing a complaint. I had to transfer him to Prart."
Jaokhun stared at her. "A... a ghost... called on the phone?"
"He was very polite. Had questions about proper manifestation permits."
"I... okay. This is a lot. My worldview is dissolving."
"That's the correct reaction!" Onepen said. "And Grace is right. It's an absolute requirement. This isn't just an office, Jaokhun. This is the only LMFAO headquarters for all of Thailand. We're in a designated thin spot. The Veil is permanently thin here."
"What does that mean?"
"It means normal, non-Sighted people can't work here. They get sick, or paranoid, or cursed. We only hire people who already have the natural Sight because they're the only ones who can handle being in this building for 40 hours a week without going crazy. It's not just a job, it's a sanctuary."
Jaokhun looked at Chakrit, who was now using his screwdriver to poke at the projector. "So... you're not just an IT guy?"
"I'm an IT guy who can see the gremlin in the printer that keeps eating the paper," Chakrit said, not looking up. "And the energy surges from the Veil that fry this projector. Normal IT guys just quit."
Onepen continued. "Anyway! Let's talk about VeilSight generations!"
New slide. "GEN-1 VS GEN-3: A TRAGEDY IN THREE ACTS."
"First-generation VeilSight only works on people who already have natural Sight. It enhances existing ability. It can't create ability from nothing. That's why we need to recruit people like you. We can't just hire anyone off the street."
"What about Singapore?" Jaokhun asked.
The room temperature dropped slightly. Everyone looked at Onepen.
Onepen's smile became very tight. "Third-generation VeilSight works on anyone! With or without natural Sight! They can hire whoever they want!"
"So they don't need to find rare one-in-a-million people."
"Correct."
"They can just hire competent, qualified professionals."
"Yes."
"And train them properly."
"Yes."
"While you're stuck finding seventy needles in a haystack of seventy million people. And you can only hire from that tiny pool."
"We prefer to think of it as selective recruiting!" Onepen's smile was looking strained. "Very exclusive! Very special!"
"How many agents does Singapore have?" Jaokhun asked.
"Forty-seven."
"And Thailand?"
"We have three field agents," Onepen said. "Pradit, Malada, and Songsit."
"Three? For the whole country?"
"Three field agents, and six support staff. That's us," she gestured around the room. "This is it. The entire national LMFAO staff is the nine people in this room."
"Nine people. For seventy million."
"We're very efficient!"
Onepen clicked quickly to the next slide. "Moving on! Let's talk about how we find manifestations!"
The slide said "DETECTION AND REPORTING NETWORKS: OR, HOW WE KNOW WHEN WEIRD THINGS HAPPEN."
"Normal people can't see entities even when they manifest. They might experience weird things. Cold feelings. Strange noises. Objects moving. Feeling watched. But they can't see what's causing it."
"So what do they do?" Jaokhun asked.
"They call the police. Or mental health hotlines. Or emergency services." Onepen clicked to show a flowchart. "We have agreements with these services. Certain keywords trigger flags. Ghost, spirit, demon, possession, cursed, haunted. When someone calls with these keywords, the case gets forwarded to us."
"How many are real?"
"About 5%."
"What about the other 95%?"
"False alarms. People having episodes. People seeing shadows. People who watched horror movies and got paranoid." Onepen gestured at Grace. "Grace screens all incoming reports. She filters out obvious false alarms. Anything that seems possibly real goes to our field agents for investigation."
"I have a very good system," Grace said proudly. "Last month I screened 127 reports. Only eight went to field investigation. Seven were false alarms. One was real."
"One real case per month?" Jaokhun said. "That's twelve per year."
"From public reports, yes. But most real cases come from registered practitioners." Onepen clicked to the next slide showing photos of monks and shamans.
"We have 847 registered practitioners across Thailand. Monks, shamans, sorcerers, spirit mediums..."
Jaokhun's head snapped up. "Hold on. Sorcerers? You're telling me mhor phi (ghost doctor) are real? I thought those were just scams to sell amulets and love potions."
Pradit looked up from his phone. "Some are. The real ones don't advertise. They're registered with us. They're our first responders."
"So... magic is real. Sorcerers are real. Ghosts can use telephones." Jaokhun rubbed his blurry eyes. "My brain is broken."
"That's the spirit!" Onepen said. "Yes, they handle minor cases themselves. Level 1 and Level 2 threats... About thirty to forty cases per year get escalated from practitioners. Combined with public reports, this office handles about forty-three total manifestations annually."
"Forty-three doesn't sound like a lot."
"It's almost one per week," Pradit said. "Trust me, it's enough."
"Are they dangerous?" Jaokhun asked.
"Depends on the entity." Onepen clicked to a new slide. "THREAT CLASSIFICATION: LEVEL 1 TO LEVEL 5, OR, HOW DEAD ARE WE?"
"Level 1 is harmless. Confused spirits. Can't hurt anyone. Level 2 is low threat. Minor disturbances. Pranks. Nothing serious. Practitioners handle both of these."
She clicked to the next level.
"Level 3 is moderate threat. Entities that are dangerous if provoked or in certain situations. Most Thai folklore spirits fall here. Ghosts, Krasue, Nang Takian. These need either experienced practitioners or LMFAO field agents."
"Level 4 is high threat. Actively dangerous entities. Can kill people if not handled properly. Always requires LMFAO response with multiple agents."
"Level 5 is critical threat. Entities that could kill many people or cause major damage. Requires all available agents plus practitioner support. We've had three Level 5 cases in Bangkok in the last twenty years."
"What was the last one?" Jaokhun asked.
"2019," Pradit said. "Angry Naga at a construction site. They cut down its sacred tree to build a condo. It flooded three blocks. Seventeen people in the hospital."
"Did you stop it?"
"Eventually. Took twelve monks, four agents, six hours, and a very expensive apology." Pradit took a sip of coffee. "The construction company had to plant a new sacred tree, build a shrine, and promise annual offerings. The condo project got delayed eight months."
"Did the Naga accept the apology?"
"After the eighth hour of negotiations, yes. Nagas are reasonable if you show proper respect and bring adequate offerings." Pradit shrugged. "We brought a lot of fruit."
"How much fruit?"
"So much fruit."
Onepen clicked to a new section. "ENTITY TYPES: A BESTIARY OF REGRET."
"There are 2,847 documented supernatural entity types in Southeast Asia. They range from tiny household spirits to major gods."
She showed a pyramid diagram.
"Bottom level is minor spirits. Ancestor ghosts, household spirits, nature spirits. Mostly harmless. They might move your keys or make noises. Very common but rarely need intervention."
"Next level is regional entities. Thai folklore creatures. Some ghosts, Pret, Nang Takian, Nang Tani. More powerful. Can cause real problems if upset or hungry."
"Third level is territorial entities. Local deities, land guardians, Jao Pa, Jao Khao. Very powerful. These have claimed specific locations for centuries. They rarely manifest unless seriously disturbed."
"Fourth level is major mythological beings. Garuda, Naga, Yaksha, celestial beings from Hindu-Buddhist mythology. Extremely powerful. The ones you saw on Friday fall here."
"Top level is actual gods. Divine beings from various pantheons. Manifestations are extremely rare. Last time we dealt with a deity was 1987."
Jaokhun raised his hand. "What happened in 1987?"
The room went very quiet.
Pradit looked up from his phone. "We don't talk about 1987."
"Why not?"
"Because it was handled and we'd like to keep it that way," Malada said from the doorway. She'd just walked in. "Don't ask about 1987. Ever."
"Now I really want to know about 1987."
"A lot of good agents retired after that. Don't ask." Pradit said flatly.
"Moving on!" Onepen clicked quickly to the next slide. "ENTITY GEOGRAPHY: THEY CAN TRAVEL."
"Important note! Entities aren't limited by geography. A Chinese Jiangshi can manifest in Bangkok. A Japanese Oni can show up in Phuket. The Veil separates realms, not locations. We've dealt with entities from China, Japan, Malaysia, India, even some European entities that somehow ended up here."
"How does a European ghost end up in Thailand?" Jaokhun asked.
"Tourism," Prart said. "Spirits can follow people. If a European tourist is haunted and visits Thailand, the spirit might come along. We had a very confused Irish ghost in Pattaya last year."
"What did you do?"
"Helped it get home. It wanted to go back to Dublin. We contacted the Irish supernatural office. They handled repatriation."
"There's an Irish supernatural office?"
"There are offices in every country," Onepen said. "LMFAO is global. We coordinate internationally for cases like this."
She clicked to a new section. "VEIL DEGRADATION: OR, WHY EVERYTHING IS GETTING WORSE."
The slide showed a graph. The line went sharply upward.
"The Veil is weakening. Twenty years ago, we had 200 manifestations per year. Last year, 294. This year, on track for 320. The rate is accelerating."
"Why?" Jaokhun asked.
"Environmental damage. Climate change. Deforestation. Pollution. Construction on sacred land." Onepen clicked to show a map with seven points marked. "The Veil is anchored by seven major power points across Southeast Asia. These anchors draw energy from natural sacred locations. Mountains, ancient forests, holy rivers."
"When humans destroy these locations, the anchors weaken. Weaker anchors mean weaker Veil. Weaker Veil means more manifestations."
"Can it be fixed?"
"Theoretically yes. Stop destroying sacred locations. Protect natural environments. Increase spiritual maintenance." Onepen's smile became sad. "Practically... we're not in charge of environmental policy. Politicians can't see entities, so they don't believe the Veil exists. We keep reporting it. They keep ignoring us."
"So it's going to keep getting worse."
"Yes! But slowly! You'll probably be fine!" Onepen said this cheerfully. "Now let's talk about what you'll actually be doing here!"
She clicked to a new section. "YOUR ROLE: DOCUMENTATION AND TRAINING."
"For the next six months, you're in training. You'll learn entity identification, documentation procedures, basic containment theory, emergency protocols, and how our filing system works."
"What's my job after training?"
"Depends!" Onepen smiled brightly. "After six months, you'll take an aptitude assessment. Based on your results, you'll be assigned to either field operations or support operations."
Jaokhun sat up straighter. "What's the difference?"
"Field agents go out and investigate manifestations, identify entities, handle containments. Support staff work in the office doing documentation, research, logistics, administration."
"Do they get paid the same?"
"No! Field work is more dangerous, so field agents get higher compensation!" Onepen clicked to show a salary chart.
"Support staff positions start at 30,000 baht per month. That's your base salary after training."
Jaokhun looked at the chart. Then he saw the next line.
"Field agent positions start at 50,000 baht per month."
The room got very quiet.
Jaokhun stared at the number. Fifty thousand baht. That was 20,000 more than he thought he'd be making.
"Field agents get 50,000?"
"Yes! It's hazard pay! Field work is dangerous!" Onepen smiled. "After two years, field agents can advance to Grade 2 with 62,000 baht per month. After five years, Grade 3 with 75,000 baht per month!"
Jaokhun looked at the chart. Seventy-five thousand baht per month. That was real money. That was buy-a-car money. That was move-into-a-nice-apartment money. That was never-worry-about-pad-krapow-prices money.
"What's the aptitude assessment?" he asked.
"It tests whether you're suited for field work! Physical fitness, decision-making under pressure, staying calm when facing entities, basic combat skills, quick thinking!" Onepen beamed. "It's very thorough! Very fair!"
"When is it?"
"After six months of training. You'll get to take it"
"What if I fail?"
"Then you're assigned to support operations! Nothing wrong with that! Grace, Prart, Chakrit, and Somsong are all excellent support staff! Very important work!" Onepen gestured at them.
Grace waved. "Support staff is great! I get to look at cat pictures between phone calls!"
"I failed the physical fitness portion," Prart said. "That was... six years ago. I'm not good at running or climbing or any activity that requires moving quickly."
"I never took the assessment," Chakrit said. "I'm better with equipment than entities."
"I'm too old for field work, dear," Somsong added. "My assessment was in 1994. I did my twenty years in the field. Support staff is perfect for me now."
Jaokhun looked at the three field agents. Pradit, Malada, and Songsit. They were the only ones who had actually passed.
"So... what's the actual pass rate for that assessment?" Jaokhun asked.
The room got quiet again.
"It... varies," Onepen said carefully.
"What does 'varies' mean? Prart failed. The three field agents passed. What about other people?"
Onepen's smile became strained. "Jaokhun, you have to understand. Most people we find, people with the Sight... they don't sign the contract. They're not in a position like yours. They have good jobs. They have families. They're stable. So they take the amnesia option."
"So how many people actually sign?"
Pradit spoke up, not looking from his phone. "We've had three people sign in the last five years. Before you."
Jaokhun's stomach dropped. "Three? In five years?"
"One was a rich kid who thought it would be exciting," Pradit said. "He quit after three months and his father paid the termination penalty. One was a university student, like you. She completed training, but failed the assessment. She works in research, remotely in Europe because she hates it here."
"And the third?"
"He passed," Onepen said quickly. "But he was… very good. He transferred to the Singapore office."
"So in the last five years, you've had three recruits. One quit. One failed. One passed and left.
"Now you're getting it," Pradit muttered.
Jaokhun leaned back in his chair. Twenty thousand baht difference. That was the difference between surviving and actually living. That was the difference between cheap street food and actual restaurants. That was the difference between looking at sneakers online and actually buying them.
"What if I want to be a field agent?" he asked.
"Then you train hard, study hard, and pass the assessment!" Onepen said enthusiastically. "We would love to have more field agents! We are desperately understaffed!"
"Three field agents for the whole country seems... insane."
"It IS insane!" Onepen said. "That's why we need you to pass! We need you on the team!"