Jaokhun stood up from the break room table.
His back hurt. His legs hurt. His arms hurt. Standing up after sitting for ten minutes was somehow harder than the gym had been.
"Walking it off," he said to nobody.
The bathroom ghost had drifted into the break room and was floating near the snack cabinet. Grace had warned him about this one. It liked to talk.
He shuffled out before it could start.
Lek was floating in the hallway by the filing room door.
"You back!" Lek said. "We work more!"
"We work more."
He pushed open the door. The room was hot. He'd already forgotten how hot it was.
"Oh god..."
"Oh god!" Lek echoed.
"Don't say that."
"You say it!"
"I'm older. I get to."
"How old?"
"Twenty-two."
"I seven!"
"You said you were six earlier."
"Maybe seven. Maybe six. Maybe more." Lek did a flip. "Time funny when you ghost!"
"Yeah"
He sat on the floor in front of the filing cabinet. Sitting was the only acceptable position. He pulled out a stack of folders and started sorting.
A 2008 report about a Nang Tani manifestation in Nonthaburi. Resolved with offerings. Three pages. Easy.
A 2011 report about a Pret in Khlong Toei market. Resolved by Agent Pradit. Five pages.
A 1995 report about an unregistered spirit in a school. Long. Boring. He skimmed it.
After thirty minutes his back hurt too much to sit. He stood up. After five minutes of standing his legs hurt too much. He sat down. After five minutes of sitting his back hurt again.
"My body can't decide what hurts most..." he said.
Lek laughed.
He used the cabinet handle to pull himself up and walked out to the break room for water. The break room was cool. Almost cold compared to the filing room.
The plant was in the corner. Small. Brown. Four leaves left if he was being generous.
Mae Mai was sitting on the rim of the pot.
He'd seen her yesterday. Somsong had introduced her. He hadn't actually talked to her yet.
He poured himself a glass of water and looked over.
She was staring at the floor.
"Hi" he said.
She didn't look up.
"I said hi."
"I heard you."
"Oh"
"You're the new one."
"Yeah"
"Fine..."
She kept staring at the floor.
Jaokhun stood there with his glass of water. He waited. She didn't say anything else.
"Are you... okay?"
"No"
"Sorry"
"Don't be."
"Okay"
He sat down at the break room table. His back was grateful. He drank some water. Mae Mai was still looking at the floor. The plant was definitely dying.
"How's the plant?" he tried.
"Dying"
"Right"
"You can stop pretending you care."
"I wasn't."
"Good"
Jaokhun looked at her. She was a six-inch tall tree spirit with bark skin and leaf hair, and she was the most depressing person he'd ever met.
"How long have you been here?"
"Twelve years"
"That's a while."
"Yes"
"You been like this the whole time?"
She looked up at him for the first time.
"Like what?"
"Like... this"
"Tired?"
"Yeah"
"No. I used to be very nice." She went back to looking at the floor. "Then I stopped."
"Why?"
"The plant started dying."
"Right"
"Also the office is very boring."
Jaokhun didn't expect to laugh, but he did. It hurt his ribs.
"That's pretty rude."
"It's true."
"Doesn't mean you can say it."
"I can say whatever I want. I'm dying."
"That's not how that works."
"It's how it works for me."
He drank some more water. She kept staring at the floor.
"You want me to bring you anything?" he asked.
"No"
"Like a fresh leaf or something?"
"Don't"
"Why not?"
"Because then I'd have to pretend to be touched."
"Got it."
He finished his water and stood up.
"Nice meeting you," he said.
"Mm"
He started walking back to the filing room.
"New one."
He turned. "Yeah?"
Mae Mai looked at him. Her eyes were small and dark, like seeds.
"You're not going to last."
"Cool! Thanks!"
"Just so you know."
"Got it."
He walked back into the heat. Lek was waiting.
"You meet Mae Mai!"
"Yeah"
"She nice?"
"Not really"
"Oh" Lek looked sad. "I think she sad."
"Yeah. I picked up on that."
By 3:30 PM, Songsit was back.
Jaokhun heard footsteps in the main office.
"I'm back!" Songsit announced. "It's done!"
Jaokhun pulled himself up using the filing cabinet handles and shuffled out.
Songsit looked the same as when he'd left. Hair styled. Shirt not wrinkled. Sneakers clean.
"How'd it go?" Onepen asked.
"Easy. Regular Pret." Songsit dropped his bag on his desk. "He died near the temple in the 60s. Was a moneylender. Bad karma in life. Family did offerings for him for decades to ease his suffering. Eldest son ran the rituals. Eldest son died last year. The rest of the family didn't know the schedule. Pret got hungry. Started showing up in the ordination hall."
"Oh, the poor thing," Grace said.
"Yeah. So I talked to the abbot. Got the temple to add him to their daily public offerings. The Pret accepted it. He just wanted someone to remember he existed."
"You convinced a hungry ghost to wait politely," Jaokhun said.
"Yes"
"Just by talking."
"That's the job, new guy. Most of them just want to be acknowledged."
Songsit pulled out his tablet.
"Now I have to write the report. This part takes forever."
"How long?"
"For a Level 2? Two hours. Three if I'm thorough."
"How many forms?"
Songsit counted on his fingers. "Incident report. Entity classification. Practitioner liaison. Resolution summary. Offering inventory. Witness statements. Agent action log. Final cover sheet."
"That's eight forms."
"Welcome to LMFAO."
He started typing.
Onepen drifted over to Jaokhun. "Isn't it amazing? Songsit makes it look so easy! He's so professional!"
"He talked a Pret into being patient."
"Yes! Negotiation is a key skill for field agents!"
"What's on the assessment for negotiation?"
"You'll find out!"
Pradit, without looking up from his desk, said, "She's not allowed to tell you. It'd be cheating."
"Got it."
Jaokhun's hand drifted toward his pocket. The phone with the photos.
He moved his hand away.
"I should get back to filing."
"Excellent attitude!" Onepen said.
He went back into the heat.
By 5:00 PM he had filed twelve more folders, logged them in the registry, and not died.
He counted that as a win.
He shuffled to the front of the office, said goodbye to Grace, said goodbye to Onepen, nodded at Songsit who was still typing, nodded at Pradit who was on coffee number eight, and headed for the door.
"See you tomorrow, dear!" Somsong called.
"Tomorrow"
The walk down the stairs was slow. His legs were not on speaking terms with his brain.
The man at the pork cart on the corner waved at him. He waved back.
A spirit floated past him at head height. He stepped out of its way. The spirit didn't notice.
The BTS was crowded. He stood in the corner of the train. A spirit child was watching a real child play on a tablet. They were both watching the same video. Neither knew the other was there.
"Don't be weird," he muttered.
"Sorry?" said the man next to him.
"Nothing"
The man moved away.
This was his life now.
He got home at 6:30. Pim was on his couch.
"Finally," she said.
"How did you get in here?"
"Nont let me in. He says you've been weird and he's tapping out."
"Where is he?"
"Out! He doesn't want to be involved."
"Involved in what?"
"This"
She gestured at the coffee table.
A paper map of Bangkok was spread across it. There were pins. There was a notebook. There was a laptop. There were sticky notes.
Jaokhun stared.
"What is this?"
"My research."
"Research on what?"
"Paranormal Bangkok."
"Oh no"
"I've been working on it for two years."
"Two years."
"It started as a hobby."
"And now?"
"Now it's a bigger hobby."
He sat down on the couch slowly. His back was thankful for the cushion. His brain was not.
"Pim"
"Yeah?"
"You broke into my apartment."
"Nont let me in."
"Same thing. Honestly that's kind of hot."
"Mhm"
"You're not even gonna acknowledge that?"
"No"
"Okay"
"Look at the map."
He looked at the map.
There were a lot of pins.
"Most of this is from Reddit," she said. "Some Twitter. Some Pantip. Some friends-of-friends. I've been tracking patterns for two years."
"Mhm"
"This pin" She tapped one. "The haunted hotel on Sathorn. Everyone knows that one."
"Yeah, because everyone has been telling the same story for ten years. Same hotel. Same room. Same man in a suit walking down the hallway."
"That's because it's a real ghost!"
"That's because they all read the same Pantip thread."
She frowned.
"This one." Different pin. "A 7-Eleven near Asoke. Manager keeps buying double the inventory of grilled food. Nobody knows where it goes."
"The manager is stealing."
"What?"
"Or selling on the side. Or the staff eat it. Or it goes bad and gets thrown out. There are ten reasons before ghost."
"You don't know that."
"You don't know it's a ghost."
She moved her finger.
"Big C in Lat Phrao. The freezer section is colder than the freezer section in other Big Cs."
He stared at her.
"Pim. That's a freezer. That's its whole job."
"It's specifically colder."
"It's a freezer."
"By like two degrees!"
"It's a freezer."
"Whatever"
He leaned back on the couch. He looked at her.
"Pim"
"Yeah"
"It's Wednesday night. You're in my apartment. I have a couch. What are we doing?"
"Looking at this map."
"Or"
"Or what?"
"Or anything else"
"No"
"Dinner?"
"I ate."
"Movie?"
"After we finish..."
"You could be making out with me right now."
"I don't want to."
"Try it once."
"I have. It wasn't good."
He paused.
"When?"
"Three years ago. New Year's. You don't remember."
"Was I drunk?"
"Yes"
"Was I good?"
"No"
"Hmm"
"It was twenty seconds. Then you threw up on a plant."
"That sounds like me."
"Yes"
"Continue with the map."
She continued with the map.
"This one. Chula dorm. A girl said something pulled her blanket off her bed at 3 AM."
"Tell her to lock her door."
"She has a single."
"Tell her to lock her single door."
"Why does she have to lock her door if it's not a ghost?"
"Because it's a dorm and people are weird."
"You're being dismissive."
"I'm being right."
She pointed at another pin.
"Noodle vendor near Asoke. He never blinks."
"Everyone blinks. You're just not watching long enough."
"I watched him for four minutes."
"Get a hobby."
"This is my hobby."
"Get a different one."
She glared at him. He smiled.
"This one. Building in Pratunam. The elevator sometimes stops on the 13th floor with nobody pressing the button."
"That's an old elevator."
"Why specifically the 13th floor?"
"Because the building has a 13. Sometimes elevators stop. The 13 didn't summon a ghost. The 13 just exists."
She stopped pointing.
She looked at him for a moment.
"How do you know all this?"
"What?"
"You're debunking everything. You sound like a person who knows."
"It's just common sense."
"That's not common sense. That's specific reasoning. Like a person who has thought about this stuff."
"I read articles."
"Since when do you read articles?"
"Since I got a job."
"You got a job four days ago."
"Yes"
"And in four days you started reading articles."
"Yes"
"About paranormal stuff."
"...About stuff in general."
"You're being weird again."
"I have a job. I have to be a person now."
She squinted at him. He smiled in a way he hoped looked normal. She did not look convinced.
She moved on to one more pin.
"The warehouse near Bang Rak Market. Students go there on dares. Some of them came back saying they saw things. I want to check it out. I want you to come with me."
"No."
"Why?"
"Because it's a warehouse. With teenagers. And probably rats. And no ghosts."
"Saturday."
"No."
"Friday."
"No."
"Tomorrow."
"You can come over tomorrow, yes."
"To make out?"
"That would be nice."
"No"
"Okay"
"To look at the map again."
"...Cool"
"And we're not going to the warehouse."
"Fine"
She started rolling up the map. Closed her laptop. Picked up her notebook.
"Don't go to that warehouse alone," he said.
"Why?"
"Because I'd feel bad if you got murdered by a real human."
"That's the most romantic thing you've ever said to me."
"I have many more."
"Mhm"
She walked toward the door. Stopped. Turned around.
"Jaokhun"
"Yeah"
"You really started reading articles?"
"Yeah"
"Hmm"
"What?"
"Nothing"
She left.
Jaokhun stayed on the couch. He didn't move. He couldn't move.
His phone buzzed. A text from Pim, two minutes after she left.
"You stink! Take a shower!!"
He took a shower.